Walks Alone

witing on the IRS

2012-02-06T22:57:00.000-08:00

Still no sign of my tax refunds but they will come eventually. In the meantime I go to work every day, spend quality time with Larry, do stuff at the local library weekly, and am enjoying my attic space. The knitting goes slowly, but a pair of socks are on their way to Jake and I have started another 1, that is not a pair, it's 1 sock, I did not divide the skein into 2 balls so will be doing first 1 sock and then the mate.

I did design and knit a doll sweater, or more honestly, I cast on, ripped it out, cast on, knit a bit, ripped out and cast on a 3rd time, knit the body of the sweater and then started to write the pattern out. It did not make sense to start writing anything down until I had something that worked. I'm currently 'playing' with my Goodreau dolls, I have 2 that are 16 and 17 inches tall, long slim teens or so they look and I hope to get some outfits made for both of them.

It is being a mild winter here so far, better for me than last winter. I make progress, the old house makes progress, the debt load goes down a bit, the mortgage goes down some.

And for the most part, the pain is livable, the life is pretty good and I am content.

crazy weather and taxes

2012-01-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

It has gone from 60 down to 17 in less than 20 hours here, the trees and shrubs have no clue what is happening and the creeping charlie just keeps growing and spreading every time it's above 32, Great weed but not the ground cover plant I really want here.

I am waiting for the next utility bill so I have a closer idea to what my heating costs are running this winter. With the attic space to heat now and only insulation up I am expecting a rise from last year this time but I am not running that dehumidifier 24/7 so know that should help balance it out some.

And it's tax time, my state is filed, my fed should be if I have the # from last year's adjusted gross right, I ad it off by $2 and was rejected so this is the 2nd time to send it. I should have double checked with the paper return and not just trusted the software. The paper return was in the file just 2 feet away so there's no reason for being that lazy.

Friend Julie has hers done and is mailing them in, no fees to pay that way and I am NOT covering fees this year for friends who use my paid for software and my printer and paper and ink, which I need to buy again. Tax time uses up a lot of ink and so does printing out free doll knitting patterns.

Jake's taxes are started and Jake is on my tax bad list again this year. His state with holding is still MO and should have been IL last year and this year and he needs to change that with his command or pay office. It is NOT something Mom can fix but Mom gets stuck with dealing with the tax filing fun it creates and I don't find it loads of fun.

I do have a list started for my tax refunds this year, new glasses as my work insurance does not pay the full cost and I need them replaced and new exam. Pay off Lowes and put ceilings in my attic space, that does include the sloped/angled parts too so that's a lot of paneling to buy and pay for some help to install but it should go reasonably fast.

I do have wiring work that needs done first, the wiring for south baseboard heater needs in so I can panel the south wall and the ceiling lights need at least wired even if I only buy cheap fixtures for now. The breaker and junction box have been up for years, I have most or all the materials so there is NO reason to not get it done but being lazy.

Foot and I are getting along most of the time, got up this morning with it not wanting to support me, that is not real abnormal but sure sucks to start the day that way. I expect to end the day that way but don't usually start the day with that much pain and handicap issues.

I have several dolls on that tax wish list and am not sure any of them will get bought, but am having fun looking on line after work, don't have a book I am reading so it's look at dolls on line and look at prices.
In the meantime, I have a job that pays the bills here, date a really good man, can afford to heat my little old house and like my life.

that Springfield trip

2012-01-13T09:26:00.001-08:00

I found a great new friend but Larry didn't thing we could sneak him out or get him into my truck.

Starting the New Year

2012-01-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

We went from warm to cold and now back to warming up some. It's a weather crazy winter here and I've been hit with my 2nd cold this winter and spent most of Sunday sleeping, taking cold meds and drinking fluids before sleeping some more.Finances are snug but livable, debt load is going down a tiny bit at a time, old house isn't making much progress this winter but part of that is my putting off work I could be doing.I am content here, and like my life and job. That goes a long way to help balance the days that have a lot of pain. All the passive solar gain upstairs sure helps warm that area up, I take my oatmeal up there most mornings to eat in the sunshine and enjoy my space.Have stuff I need to get done today before I head to work and time is going by so fast, but I am gaining on that blasted cold, know I got it at the plant so will be taking it back to the plant. Sure glad I spend most of my time there tucked away in my own space and work at my own pace.

Collection agency calling for someone else

2011-12-29T06:31:00.000-08:00

Was enjoying my attic nest and watching Avatar, ya, I know, I have watched it before, several times actually when the phone rang. I expected it to be Larry, that guy I date and have lunch plans today with but it was Isobel trying to reach or locate Michael R. Ferrin. She did ask if he was my son, 'no, a man I used to date' she did leave a phone number and extension # and would like a call back before 8 p.m. central time. So, since I don't have a current e-mail address, and I don't have a current phone #, I will post it here and Mike, if you do read my blog now and then, you will get the message. Isobel 1-800-788-7870, ext. 3334. I also did google the number and it's a collection agency but it seems a lot of the people who were called by this # did NOT have the owe the debts that the caller was chasing and it seems that there might be some fraudulent claims and harassment being committed by whoever is calling from this #.It's not my business, not my debt and I have stuff at our local library every Thursday between 10-noon and then lunch with Larry before I go to work. Just love it when debt collectors call here looking for other people and they do, cell phone gets calls looking for who had that cell # before me, I get calls looking for the people I bought this house from, a man I was married to and have been divorced from for years and have not seen or head from for more than 10 years, for Mike and occasionally for my oldest son. Gee, if I could give them the address/phone/e-mail for any I would and let them be bothered instead of me.I am working hard to pay off my debt load, I go to work even when it is hard to even walk. I pay on my debts first before anything else, I keep a tight budget so I can pay off those debts as fast as I can. I don't like getting these calls and do what I can to get them to not call here but every time calls looking for Kenn Gean or Mike Ferrin come, I am reminded how stupid I was to believe these men, at least where it came to financial matters with Mike. I don't think much else was lies. With Kenn Gean, it was all lies and deception..and my being a stupid trusting fool.So, don't expect trust to come easy for me, don't expect me to put any confidence in others and don't expect me to pay any bills that aren't mine.

The Annual Christmas Letter

2011-12-21T23:41:00.000-08:00

Another year and I'm still working on this old house and still working at Cargill. But the old house has a new metal roof, new dormer and spiral stairs and I am now in hourly management at the plant instead of supply.I don't hear from Stormy but understand from Cami, her oldest daughter, my oldest granddaughter, that she is fine. Bryon is out in CA and likes it there in the L.A. area, he catches me on line now and then but our hours rarely match up.Ben is working carpentry in this area, and I see him some, he helped put the metal roof on my house and with the stairs and work in the attic.Jake is in Japan and our hours don't match often but I do catch him on line now and then. If he doesn't stay in the Marines, this should be his last deployment overseas.I am not making fast progress on the work here but have a great usable space in the attic now, it will be a while before there is a bathroom up there and walls, ceilings but it's insulated and I will work on it as I have funds and time. And I have great natural light and plenty of sewing space now.We've had rain so far and just a skiff of snow, tonight I had ice on the windshield to scrape before I could leave the parking lot. But we are not having a bad winter yet this year.It's been a long year but my foot is doing better, a brace from Hanger Prosthetic has helped a lot with work and pain but I am not ever going to dance or skip.I have come to terms with the life changes that accident has made in my life and my body but it's been a long and hard battle with some of that adjusting. I am also finding some ability to forgive and let go with some people, I don't know why I was lied to about financial issues but do feel that it was not done to deliberately deceive me and create a mess of my life or use me. I do know my life works for me, here and living alone. I don't want the demands or needs of another person on my shoulders at this time. Occasional playmate and company works well, can work with my job and my old house and my foot and it's pain issues.Finances are improving, not fast but at least there is some progress, I still have a huge amount of high interest credit debt but it is going down every month and I am paying extra on the house payment and it's paid early every month so that helps too.And I'm still dating the same man I have been for 10+ months, he lives a few blocks away and has been widowed for over 3 years now, retired and it's his camper we take camping and his garage that my little Honda passport is spending the winter in.Wishing one and all a very good holiday season and a good year to come.

IF I had died in that car accident

2011-12-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

The leaking roof on this old house would not be replaced with a metal roof. And all the stuff I had stored in that attic area might have been ruined. A small fortune in books and fabrics that my estate might have yard saled or tossed out in the rubbish bin.Now, as I un-box those books, I am taking some to the local library. Their set of Time life home improvement books fell apart from much use several years ago and there has been no funds to replace them so mine will have a great home there and I can go use them when I need or want too. Those other books on furniture making and cabinet making and kids projects and crafts, they too have a better home at the public library.Now, as I am almost 2 years from the date of that accident, I am moving forward with living, with settling into my attic space as I gain progress with work up there.I will turn fabric into quilt tops and some will be gifted away, some will be machine quilted and gifted away, I don't need to hoard fabrics or books, and I don't need to stash away yarns and not use them. Thursdays are my out and about day before I head to work, and I will take time to enjoy having a life and I will work on living that life, not waiting until later, there might not be a later.I am working on forgiving, some has come easier than others, some things are easier to just let go and put into the past, some will take more time, hurt deeper, and my brain wants to understand, to know why before it can find forgiveness and move on, but I will keep working on those ones.I'm finding more laughter once again, and peace and balance are becoming a part of my life once more. I still get angry too easy, frustrated far too fast, but I am working on that too and ok if I don't make fast progress.I no longer feel guilty or obligated, my life, my paycheck and my right of choices. That too, is progress in my life.And now I will get ready and head to work once again, glad to be going to work, glad to be able to work, glad to have a job with good pay and benefits. And really glad to come home to my small old house that is dry and warm and mine.

Happy thanksgiving

2011-11-24T07:52:00.001-08:00

It's cool and gray here in central IL but the house is warm and dry. The birds are content and Kid is being good for now. I will be going out for my meal, quality time with quality friends, and no clean up.Work is busy and overtime every weekend right now, is helping me pay down debt load and the truck got much needed back tires. Hopefully, soon I will be putting some of that overtime into the work on this old house, but it's nice to be ahead on the bills and I will soon be down to 4 years on my house mortgage and am paying extra every month on that which makes me feel more secure too.There's not much on the Black Friday sales that even interests me, but I will look next Sunday while I am in Springfield for the yearly Christmas party with my doll club. And my gift exchange is part done, the sweater knit, finished and washed, now to make a top and pants that go with it. I have a nice selection of lace weight yarns for doll knitting and have 2 other sweaters going, 1 will be a gift if done on time.Jake is off with his platoon, headed to Japan right now, and he's doing well and is usually in good spirits, his jeep is here, IL plates and insured, and locked up, it needs new back tires but I don't know if I will get that done before he is home again. I will get some stuff into the gas tank for winter and start it now and then but don't need to run it and neither does any one else.It's so great to have a solid roof and be started on the attic changes/expansion project. Right now I am not getting much done up there but I will progress a little at a time, on a schedule that I can handle and not be beat tired and not add to my debt load. I need to finish up the insulation work and have the insulation for that, need to do some wiring work and will have the materials for that soon, and then it will be ceilings, and wall coverings and build that new bathroom.I hope this year my tax refund will build the bathroom walls, last year paid off a debt and that was a good decision but this year I want to be able to put the refund into my attic project. But I am making good progress with so many things, compared to where I was this time last year. So, it's a year I have a lot to be thankful for and to be looking forward to the coming year.

Cool and windy today

2011-11-09T08:23:00.000-08:00

And we had hard rains again in the night but house stays dry now and that is such a huge and great change. I can sure tell I am not done with insulation work in the attic today, it's usually warm up here and today it's not and I do have heat going. But I will get a bit more work done, did buy new blades for the circular saw at Wal-Mart on the way home after work and picked up some more stuff from the storage unit. Part is still in the truck.I don't think Ben got by last night to update things on Jake's X-Box so it will play music with my I-pod and I wanted that done, guess he won't be using vehicles here if he can't do something small like that for me. And since his borrow my truck yesterday was to take housemate to work early, did not put gas in my truck and that is going up in cost, at least 15 cents higher than it was when I got off work Monday, I am not thrilled about his using my wheels or Jake's which I am supporting and responsible for while he is gone.Work has some drawbacks, I am being pushed to do more and faster by the new lead, and I do like her but I am not going to be able to get everything done and done early, it's just not possible and if she's trying to cut on the payroll, then she needs to look at who is doing the most overtime and how she can deal with that person 'padding' her paycheck with staying late. She's the 1 who finishes up and there is no one to see that she does her work in a timely manor. . . ya, there is a huge reason she takes home between $100-200+ more than any of the rest of us every week...But, for the most part I am content with my life, date a good man and we have plans for Thanksgiving and back up plans just in case we don't want to be out on the roads. He's probably cussing this wind and temps getting colder, makes him hurt more, heck it makes most of us hurt more. But we both have a place to live, money to pay our bills, like our lives, and manage to be ok with how life goes that we can't change and take care of what needs taken care of.I will spend time putting time in here in the attic on work that needs done and down stairs, get the house into better order and more comfortable to live in. This attic space is giving me over 500 more square feet of very usable space and in time will give me a second bathroom too. My down stairs will get less crowded and easier to keep clean and in better order, some changes down there will improve air flow through the house and help make the furnace and central air more efficient By summer I will have a good window blanket blind made for both the east window and the south so the sun doesn't cook this attic space. By summer I should have a bathroom up here in the attic and have ceiling in the laundry area done and a lot more stuff taken care of. I am doing better this winter than I was last winter, am having less pain with my foot/leg and taking less for pain. My life is calmer and more settled, my finances are more stable and my house is sure in better condition with that new roof finally done.Last fall this time I was just adjusting to being back at work, facing a long and hard winter and dealing with the emotional issues that both the accident and an unwise relationship brought into my life. Now I am moving forward with my life, making it work for me and meet my needs and wants. I have grown stronger and more capable, for the most part and have been working on cleaning up the messes the past has made in my life and in my head.And it's time to get busy with work in the attic, got that circular saw a new plywood blade and need to put it to work.

My attic hidaway

2011-11-06T18:10:00.000-08:00

It is a long way from finished but I am ale to watch movies and have moved my laptop up here for now. I worked today on getting most of the west storage area wall done, and on putting down sub floor in the gap in front of the landing. I still have to put the light switch back for the laundry area and then that wall can be opened up just a bit more. I am going to start moving my things out of rented storage now, and will continue to put up the short walls as I have time and energy. Working 6 sifts a week is hard on me, my body and especially my hands hurt all the time. But I have a dry house and I am almost done with the insulation in my attic space and I am sure I will get the walls done and the ceiling in and build a bathroom too. It's great to have more space in the house, and I will work on getting stuff moved around and the place cleaned up more. By this time next week I want my sewing stuff upstairs and the antique chest of drawers in my bedroom where the sewing stuff now lives. And if I move a load every night after work, I should have a big part of my things home and not in storage.It will be a huge challenge to get the new sofa upstairs and I think it will take more than Ben and I to get it done. But in a few weeks this attic space will become my winter hide out. My dolls will finally have a place they belong and I will have a dedicated place for my sewing and my books and a place to watch movies or listen to music and to hide from the world in general.

Roof is done

2011-11-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

And I am so pleased with the new metal roof, the new dormer and the stairs. I have a lot more work to do before my new attic space is done but will have it usable soon and stuff moved in/up there and settle in for the winter. Almost all the insulation work is done and I will soon be putting osb up on the walls of the storage space under the eaves. It will take a while to build in all the storage cubbies I will have, and the dolls have their own nook too. And I will make a dedicated space for that over-sized dog I have. Where he can watch out the east window.Soon I will be planning out that second bathroom, know where it goes, but not size or how I am laying out the toilet, sink and shower. It does get a glass pocket door and will face the new east window but is off set from it so it will be about impossible for any one outside to see into that bathroom unless they are up a ladder and against my new window.The house feels cool, furnace is set at 70 and temp on the thermostat has 72 for room temp. The dryer is running, Ben must have done laundry late and put clothes in not long before I got home from work. The attic or upstairs is warmer than downstairs right now. I do have thermometer up there but need a good digital one and set in the northeast corner as that should be the coolest spot.It will take several years to know what my utility costs will average or be as they will keep changing as I get more done here. I am not running the dehumidifier now and it used to run most of the time to dry out this house from the leaking roof problems. But I have gained a lot more space so that will cost to heat. I have less drafts in some places but I did not get the north bathroom window pulled and a new one put in so that is still going to be a cold and draft problem this winter but have plans to be doing it as soon as weather warms up in the spring.Even if we have a warm spell before hard winter sets in, I won't have enough done to move every thing out of the bathroom that has to be moved out and tear out the old window, have Pat help put in the new one and then get things closed up, replaced/repaired and so forth so I have the bathroom back in usable and tolerable order.Maybe by spring I will have my upstairs bath usable and the one here on the ground floor ready for new window, move the tub, move the door to laundry area...dream on, not sure where funds will come from but there is hope that small claims court gains me back most of the deposit from C.L. Campbell Construction as they did default on the contract.Well, I need to get something to eat and then tuck me into bed, know I will be busy before work, lots to do, including clean up outside from the construction, figure where to store the left over metal as most of it will end up on the porch roof as soon as I can afford to buy what else is needed and pay for the labor, and get back on Pat's work list. He will also frame in the new bathroom once I have it planned out and know how big and where exactly those walls need to go.And the new space gets a 40" flat screen to go with the new sofa and Jake's x-box. Momma is going to hide up there and watch Star Trek and silly girl movies this winter and play with her dolls and yarns.

That attic space

2011-10-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

I know it will be a long time before it's totally finished, but I will start using it as soon as I can. I love the fact that no windows face the busy street in front of my house, I can feel I am hidden away when I am up there.I do love having Jake home and Krisda is great to have here but I am so glad they are in MO for the weekend and the dog, birds and I have our usual after work quiet house. And I could go over to Larry's and he'd be glad to have me there but I just want to be here, and have Kid in the house, instead of outside on his chain, breath the air here, no cats or carpet or furnace noises.It wasn't too long ago that I had a furnace in the bedroom and loud but it moved to the new utility area and I have gotten used to a much quieter house and Larry's trailer has the furnace close to his bedroom so it is much louder. The house is cool but that is the dormer and attic under construction stuff and it will start to improve as I get insulation in and when Pat gets that dormer closed in, the window are is framed but the window is not installed yet and there's a lot yet to be closed up on the east side of that dormer, plenty of fresh air right now, cold fresh air.I will have to make insulated curtains for the south and east windows before spring comes or they will be real heat problems but I will sure enjoy the passive solar gain this winter. I do need to close off the cold though so will be working on those curtains once I have the rough work done up there and can start using my new area.I did my wellness stuff on line for our work insurance updating and think it's stupid and computer generated that does not give a true picture of the real person or the real life. I have a lot of pain, ya, and there is no place to enter the accident and foot damage or the fact that my hands have carpal tunnel and are getting old.I have a lot of stress and there is no place to put in the why of that stress, old house with no real roof, winter coming and no way to heat the open house, a lot of money paid to a very dishonest contractor and now waiting for small claims court. It would be abnormal to not have some stress and depression over the roof situation or my pain that the car accident has created and that I will live with the rest of my life.It's like asking if I have a lot of headaches, yes but it's not the same as other people-unless they have my allergies and sinus problems. I rarely have stress headaches, or non car accident related pain, other than my hands. So, the on line questions do not really give a clear picture of me and of my pain or depression or my life.And it's really OK to be just ok, not happy, but ok, content, at peace, mellow. And it's ok if I am comfortable alone and like living alone. I see people every day I go to work and I what I feel is a good relationship with the guy I date but I don't want to live at his place, he sure doesn't want to move here and his cat is NOT welcome to move here, my dog and birds will not be moving to his place.I have plenty of 'support system' and don't need to give out names and contact information, I really do not need to be reported on or bugged by my on line, company medical stuff. I will just continue to handle my little life and the details in that little life.I do check my blood pressure and I will add in the other stuff, like when I had my last pap smear, I don't remember when, ok, so it was probably last January but I sure don't know the exact date. Washer is almost done so I can toss that load into dryer and have it going, I had to replace the light bulb in the laundry area, the first time I have had to do that since I put that light fixture in. So, as it's a vanity bulb, it had to be1 that was remove when we gutted the original bathroom. I guess I won't complain about a lightbulb that lasted 6+ years and I did have a replacement so that's been done and I can see to load the washer or dryer in the night.Better get this saved or posted and head to laundry space and then bed, I do want to work in the attic before I go work at Cargill for overtime.

A quiet house again

2011-10-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

It's great to have Jake and Krisda here, but it's been busy and loud. Today, they, with Ben headed west to MO to visit for the weekend and I get to clean house a bit, maybe go to a yard sale, go to work and just enjoy the quieter house for a while.The construction work is going ok, not as fast as I would like but the metal roof should be going on starting Monday, I have a lot of the insulation bought and here, and will buy more Sunday while I am in Springfield and it looks like we will have dry weather for a week or so and I plan to start insulation work while the kids are gone and also prime some of the osb that will be going over that insulation in the storage areas so I can get those closed off as soon as I can and the attic starts getting more usable and warmer.The dormer is close to done, the window is waiting and I will be glad to see that dormer done, the stairs assembled and quit using a ladder to get in and out of my new attic space.Work is going ok, foot is doing better with the brace and I will look at taking it back in to Hanger for some tweaking with the fit soon. I needed time for it and me and the new, 1/2 size larger work boot to adjust and we are about to that place.I take the kids back up north to Krisda's dad the 27th and had planned a crafting thing at the local library but won't be able to attend. Jake needs a day or so with her family before this deployment and this time instead of storage at base, his stuff came home and I will be tucking it up in the attic on the south end in some of that new storage area we will have.I don't know when I will be going to court with the contractor that did not do the work he agreed to and took a large deposit on but expect sometime the middle of November for that and hope to get back a large amount of that $$ but won't plan to put it into the bathroom upstairs until I actually have that money.So, it's getting cold and I don't like that but sure like all the sun through the south attic window. It will be a long time before the entire area is done, bathroom is high on the list but hope by tax time to look at contracting out the drywall work and see that done and paint when spring comes.

Old House progress

2011-10-12T23:01:00.000-07:00

the carpenter is making good progress on getting the west side of the house ready for the metal roofing, rain is now slowing down work but he's here when he can be on the roof. And Ben helped me with the start of framing in a small short closet/hanging area in the south west part of the attic. I still have the support to put in the south east side, that area will be a 2 'x14' doll display area once done. And I have a couple more studs to put in along the west wall, will get them done this week and also hope to start insulating and closing up the west eaves, once the carpenter gives me the 'go ahead'.The dormer will be built as 'shed' or lifted roof, 1 clean line that will have no seams to later leak. It will give me a lot of east light with the new window, enough headroom for the spiral stairs and will look nice and not tacked on.I want the house to end up with a lot of nice curb appeal and be comfortable to live in, and work for me, meet my needs and be easy to care for, and low maintenance over time.I have not been able to 'see' the sewing/work space yet but will as I get more work done and get the tools and supplies out of that area. It will take months to get all the work done and I don't know how much of my deposit with the contractor will be returned or when, I expect to be in small claims court in mid-November.Those funds will go into the work here once I get them but am not counting on spending the money until I have it in hand.It's not a perfect life and I will always have pain and problems with my foot from that accident, and I will be dealing with the emotional issues probably that long. But I'm not having the amount of depression I was 6 months ago.

That new Boot

2011-10-04T05:47:00.000-07:00

this is that new support boot I am starting to really like. It will barely fit in 1 pair of my steel toed work boots, big toe is rubbing on the end of that steel toe but new ones, same style, 1/2 size larger are ordered and Cargill pays the full price for up to 2 pair of work boots per year for me, nice.
It is making a difference, but my left hip joint hurts more. I think as my body adjusts to the boot, and I get a larger work boot, that hip pain will reduce. I know I walk with more balance and closer to the pace I walked at before this accident and I no longer feel ugly and clumsy and 'gross' and that is a huge plus.
A huge improvement in my life, both at work and home, I am not in as much pain and I am not as tired.

Love the lawyer's letter

2011-09-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

got my copy yesterday, nice, polite and to the point, and has a 7 day period from date of letter, not date received for work here to start or we look at my options, including legal ones. Now, we know legal ones are just what I am going to do. And mean, nasty and tough is just what I will be, with a lawyer known for that also.In the meantime, I cannot find the notebook with my doll knitting patterns anywhere, did reprint some out but ran out of printer ink. My bed is piled high with stuff that I got out to look for patterns, move stuff, move stuff, and pile on my bed.If the contractor had done the work, which I did pay a hefty deposit for, in a timely, like he promised, in writing manor, I would not have a bed piled with stuff, I would have a workspace in that attic studio, it might not have built in shelving yet but it would have my sewing/knitting/doll stuff up there.The bathroom would not have a chest of drawers in it, and more doll/sewing stuff. My living room would not have a huge antique chest of drawers in the way. And I have cleaned and dealt with the mess, and worked up in that attic space for months, have stuff now in rented storage and will have it there for another month at least.So, I won't get happy with this contractor, will be getting a inspector to come do a report on the very little work that has been done by CL Campbell Construction and what heeds done to do what I want and have a contract for, right. And that is how they can do it or face court action and not get paid any more.If work is not started and kept going until they are done, I do plan court action. I also will be deducting some of the costs their delay has cost me, like how long the roll off disposal bin has been here, the 2nd month of storage fees for my stuff and the costs of a lawyer.After all, to do the job right, they had to do a new contract and raise the price $2000. It's only right that they get my costs for their choice of delaying this job.And if there is any damage from rain, it becomes their costs also, as they removed the roof, and did not get it re-roofed in a timely manor. That law here and they do know it.I would be interested to know if the senior partner has been aware of all the issues here or if dad was kept in the dark. But he was here 8/31 and so should have kept tabs and kept the work going then. I won't get happy just because they get the job done, they don't know me, if it's not done right, if it's not done in a very timely manor I will take action. And if it's not started within that 7 day period on the letter, it's legal action. And since our plant works Saturdays, I do expect If they get back to work here, they work Saturdays until the job is done and expect the job to take less than 2 weeks. In the meantime, I have a doll club meeting today, need a shower and need to take Kid with me to go buy a length of log chain to fasten him to the tree while I am at work or gone, as he's broken the cable, broken the new dog chain I just bought yesterday. There are rodents in that damn roll off and he wants to go play there and hunt them out. The same roll off that should have been out if this yard by late July so another reason for me to be displeased with the damn contractor.

have a Lawyer, letter going out

2011-09-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

today to the contractor. and lawyer says I have done very good at keeping things in order, and on the right side of the law. Letter first and very limited time for contractor to get the job done and done to my satisfaction. We will go to court very fast if need be and won't spend much time going back and forth with contractor.
That is good news and my purple sweater is done and looks great, the furnace is turned on and needed, the sun is out and the new doll trunk arrived and my resin Goodreau fits nicely along with his clothing and shoes. I do need some hangers that will fit in the case but it sure beats the cardboard box he came in.
Work stinks, but that is due to a change in the area the cleaned equipment is sorted. It's a longer walk, and tight corners, cold and damp so yes, I am in a snit, and it's taking longer to do those racks and also wash the mesh gloves during the same time frame. I am NOT going to go back and forth between the 2 areas. I will work a rack and when it's done I haul it up and park it close to where the mesh wash room is, do some mesh and then haul the rack on through the cafeteria and to where it goes.
I will adjust and adapt, my work load has increased and I am in a snit and will not get happy about it, nor will I be concerned if I am working overtime, not my decision to dump me with a larger work load.

fed up with working on the attic project

2011-09-05T09:29:00.000-07:00

I need to get some help and put down the last of the sub floor, but I am taking a break before making any phone calls for help, I am just really tired of this attic project, it's been on going since mid June, contractor has delayed and delayed, started job and then left it for 2+ weeks. Now it's September and still not done, it's getting cool nights and I still don't have that area insulated even.
Ben's not been good help, some hired help was a joke, a rather expensive joke, Dean from work is good help but I know he had plans for this weekend so won't call. Otto will come help and together we will manage the center section on the south end. It will be the hard spot now, and first piece is lined up and will take 2 people to get it to lock up the tongue on this sheet with the groove on the one it has to go into.
But I have almost every thing into storage that needs to go, and have most of the clean up done and we have close to 3/4 of the sub floor down.
It's a different Labor Day than last year, that was recovering from my accident and dealing with ending a relationship before it cost me far more $$ than it already had.
And 2 years ago, it was single and battling weeds in the garden, and trying to get the budget tighter to get through the winter and come out with less debt load.
I'm ok with most of where my life is at this year, this time but this new roof/attic conversion has really gotten to be stressing, and most of that stress is a contractor.
I will survive, the house will get a metal roof, I will get my attic studio area and the debt load has shrunk some in the past year.
I have made a lot of recovery from that auto accident, have moved on with my life, not dating any lying, debt ridden men now, and not dating any who play head games.
I still have a garden full of weeds, and a yard and flower beds that burnt up this summer with all our heat and my neglect.
I will always have a small old house that needs work but I am ok with that most of the time, and now it's time to get back to work on that damn attic job.

slow progress but at least the job is going again

2011-09-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

Apparently my call and willingness to get a lawyer about this roof job got action, including the senior partner to become aware of what was or rather was not being done on this job. Now the entire roof has been stripped and decked and this time all the clean up outside was done and I was not left with a mess and tarps and trash around.
I am photographing and documenting as things go or don't get done here, and will not hesitate to make a few phone calls and yes, a lawyer if need be.
I have storage unit rented and am getting all my stuff out of the attic and stored while the job is being done and do not plan to have storage rented for more than 1 month, 2 if I am waiting on drywall/painting job to get finished.
It's hard to believe all the stuff I have had tucked away and stored in that attic all these years, not much trash to toss out, not much needs sorted before stored but I am doing some cleaning and will clean and oil my antique rockers and such before they are stored.
Larry and I had a good day up north, Colchester and huge flea market and I came home with another rocking chair that needs both back and seat re-caned. It is very similar to the one I just finished the back on, they will look good together in the new attic space.
We had rain in the night and early morning so it's cooled down and the attic is comfortable working in. Right now I am working alone but will get Otto's help when I am ready to get the bigger items down out of the attic and haul them to the storage unit. I think 1 have about 3loads to go but I am also taking some of the stuff that's in my way on the ground floor too.
I need to get sub floor down, most is done but have the south east section left to do and might even get some down today. I am off work and paid tomorrow so can do it then if I don't get to it all today.
I will never give C.l. Campbell Construction a good reference, they might do good work and reasonable costs but the delays and bull shit I have had to deal with already make a company I would not wish on anyone. No one deserves to have a job jerked around and be left with the mess and roof open for several weeks at a time like I have been here.
But I will have a blue metal roof, and as soon as I can, will be doing the wiring and insulation work that needs done before drywall can be installed. And I hope I can afford to contract that out. Will get bids as soon as I can but it won't be for 2-3 weeks.

No roof progress, bike parts ordered and in shipping,

2011-08-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Larry is working on my blue bike again, have condenser and points coming, and I am working in the attic every day..contractor has not been here for over a week, did send a letter..and will be looking at legal action if work does not get going and done...
Have an appointment with Hanger Prosthetic for custom work boot for damaged foot.
And there's a new guy in my life, he doesn't have a name yet but came with plenty of clothes and I also ordered 4 patterns his size, ok, so 2 were girl stuff but I do have a lot of dolls here and all like clothes.
I am working on the sub floor in the attic, the guy form work didn't do much but did it all wrong, glad he didn't use many screws to fasten it down, have most of them out and 2 pieces loose.
I might have help coming Saturday to work with me and I hope to get most of that sub floor down, stuff will have to be moved, take up what is down and done wrong, put it down right, move stuff I have stored up there, put down more sub floor..but at least I will be seeing some progress.
Overtime on this week's paycheck, nice to have a good paycheck, sure beats being on disability. I've worked hard to keep that damn accident from taking any more from me and from my life, my quality of life than I have absolutely had to give up.
I know the odds are high that I will not be able to work until retirement age but I am sure going to try and if that means big, ugly work boot that has supports up my lower leg, well, I can live with that.

no progesss on the roof..

2011-08-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

This really is a contractor with licenses and good rep who does good work and in a timely manor. But that is not what is happening here. It took 4 days(plus weekend) to get the east side stripped and decked. It's been since Tuesday that anyone came and worked on the roof here. In the meantime I can't do work inside the attic and the house is so open that I have the air shut off, there is no reason to pay the bill to try and cool a house with this much draft issues.
I am trying to not let it stress me, I get upset, stressed and depressed and I spend $$ on stuff I don't need and sometimes later don't want..and right now I am spending a lot of time looking at big screen tv's on sale, and I don't have the place to put one until the attic is much closer to done.

I'm working late most night this week because Barb has called in 3 shifts in a row, so my foot and leg hurt more and all the time. That adds to my being unhappy with life..it's a no win circle right now, I am going to try and not let it drive me into any dark holes or have me wasting money that later I will regret.
But the high point is our annual company picnic is this Sunday, here in town and Larry and I are going..the first I have been able to attend in something like 4 years...
And the dog is not longer scratching himself until he has sores so the medication has helped that. I know life here has some rough spots but for the most part, it's workable and I like my life. I don't like this roof project and the long drawn out, not get the job started, get it finally started and then not get with the work and get it done stuff..but I will make another call, again, and hope that Monday I will have a crew here and the job will get completed and done right...

No more old houses

2011-08-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

the roof job is finally started, 5+weeks after it was supposed to be started. Guy at work who said he knew how to do many things cannot lay sub floor correctly, he and another guy quit before they ruined much of my materials, what they did put down will have to be pulled up and put down correctly.
Foot hurts all the time, I am still getting medical bills that should have been paid with the settlement so will have to check on that, have already sent several bills to State Farm again, ones I know were part of that settlement.
Cami's facebook posts have me wondering if her mother is doing the same stuff to Cami that she did to me, over and over for years. I am staying away, staying here and keeping my life workable.
Looking at my house plans, attic project plans and trying to make wiring decisions for lighting and thinking on what I want for t.v. up there, how big, do I want to move the big 52" one from the living room up and then put something else down here, or do I want to buy a new flat screen for that attic space currently called "Jake's room"
I know it will be my retreat, I want to be able to sit and watch movies while I do hand work so lighting is an issue and so is what I have for t.v up there. I have to make wiring decisions before I insulate as I need to wire first. And so am working out ideas on paper now.
Life is livable but that damn accident keeps making ugly waves in my life. I know my foot will never get better, I know I will always have pain but thought by now I would quit getting medical bills from it. It's been more than a month, close to 2 months since the settlement date.
I will make a phone call after I get up and see if the one on my desk can be sorted out and hope it's their error. Damn place would not bill my medical insurance from work as they have agreement to take a lower amount..and now are charging a late fee..and I would not be surprised to learn they have been paid by State Farm and weeks ago...
Need to wind down and get some sleep, it's already after 3 am and I should have been asleep 2 hours ago--oh,ya I was still working 2 hours ago...

Still No contractor, made a phone call

2011-08-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

We are a month behind the scheduled start, and he's still not here. The disposal bin is still empty and in my back yard, I still have a window in my living room, a spiral stair that cannot be installed and a serious lack of tolerance for 'Monday' and 'early next week' which has came and gone several weeks now.
Today's call again got his voice mail, today's message is that I need him to either get here and do the contracted job or refund my deposit and I will get someone else to do the job. This delay is fouling up my life.
Along with a huge chunk of my settlement funds, the other work I need done up there in the attic on hold for the most part, the garden has gone to weeds while I worked up in the attic to clean up the insulation so ceiling joices were ready for sub floor and stuff moved away from areas where work needed to be done.
I am stressed out to the max over this and my foot is in pain most of the time from work, I need this roof replaced, the dormer built, the spiral stair kit installed, the sub floor down, the wiring on end walls done, the insulation work done. And want it done this month..not next month, not next year.
And to top it off, I am getting calls from collection agencies looking for a man I have not see or heard from for more than 11 years, who never shared a home with me during our short marriage. He did not manage to scam me out of any amount of money, he did verbally abuse me and would have physically abused me if I had not gotten him out of my life when I did. I made a huge mistake trusting him, not seeing the man behind the mask, but I wasn't the stupid fool he thought I was, he never had his name on my home, vehicle or accounts that mattered, or access to much.
So, now it's been close to 12 years since I even heard his voice on a phone, I am getting collection agencies calling here, 2 in 2 days, looking for him.
He could be dead, I have no contact numbers, have not had, and I didn't really have that when I thought we were trying to make a life together.
So, not my problem, calling me does not gain them anything,

and right now it's not even making waves in my pond, just find it funny...
Just when I think my life has problems and is a mess, I get calls from collection agencies looking for Ken Gean or for Michael Ferrin... guess my life has some issues and stuff I need to take care of but at this time I don't have collection agencies calling me because I am behind on payments, or have just not paid my bills and am trying to duck out on them.
And I will either see the contractor here and work being done or I will see my deposit back and give the job to Raffa and his crew. If necessary I will take legal action, not something I want to do, but I am not going to just 'give away' a huge chunk of my settlement funds.
Today I see the podiatrist and hopefully we start to find some ways to lessen my pain and walking issues with my damaged foot. I need to keep working, I need to get through my work shift and not be miserable long before the shift is done.
I will get the garden dealt with, will get the insulation and sub floor out of my truck and up into the attic, will get finished with the wiring on the north wall so it can be insulated, will finish the insulation work on the south attic wall that I do have started.
And I am making changes in the plans for the upstairs bathroom, it has to fit the space there, it will have to work with the old chimney for plumbing chute, and it has to work with the ceiling/roof angles. I have bath #2 on paper now, have not checked measurements to see how they work but will before I go to my Dr appointment.
I can handle a lower ceiling/slanted ceiling in the bathroom if I plan it out right. I want things a certain way but if it does not work, then I will change it and like the change.. It's planned to be 5 foot wide, and that should not need changed, but I might have to change what order things are, right now it's toilet, sink and shower across the west end..like that but not sure I have the height for the shower.. can move entire bath east and get it to work...got plenty of space to work with up there, but it's how much space am I willing to give to a bathroom and just where I am willing to have that space taken out.
well it's almost 9 am so I need to get busy or I won't be showered and at that appointment on time, it's at the clinic south of the library so at least it's not a far drive, can run the bike..like that idea...

Phone call, the contractor will have some guys here tomorrow to get started- - his rep is very good, his work is very good, I really don't want to have someone else do this work but Need it started and done...

construction delays and pain

2011-07-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

sure have me dealing with depression now. I don't think it will last, and I do think the contractor will show up, know that there are delays and he's small, not a lot of crew. The heat issues are a huge problem for construction work, and we are not dropping much below 80 at nights right now so it's early when it's hard to work on roofs and such.
My foot is being miserable, as are my hands, and and knees and back, so my pain levels are high, and I am spending time on my bed resting instead of out in the garden or up in the attic with the wiring project. And I am working late right now, Barb is on vacation so I am staying to finish up.
I will get through this, the house will get a new roof, the dormer built and the spiral stair is now is shipping so it will be here before the dormer is built.
Finances are ok, I need to balance the checkbook, and I need to put some $$ on my lunch card at work but that means a trip somewhere, Save-A-Lot, Wal-Mart, but sure am not getting it done.
I am getting the laundry taken care of, and I will turn the water on when I get home tonight so that will help the garden out. And I will try and do better, and I will plan to go to Springfield Friday as need to get x-rays sent or on disk for my doctor appointemnt..
I will be ok, just takes time, and I hope to see work done soon.

Construction delays still

2011-07-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

But the work on central air starts early Tuesday/tomorrow morning, and I hope the work on the roof and dormer start soon too. I have the dormer window in the living room, the pipe to make the soil stack outside, have started taking things off the shelves, my dolls and other stuff I collect, moved some stuff in the attic where the new dormer goes, moved the antique chest of drawers that was living between the kitchen door and the bathroom wall, where the dormer will be going, so now my house gets to become a worse and worse mess. No place to put things, no place to store things and no room here.
It will get worse before it gets better so the sooner it is started, the sooner I can start putting the house back in order, clean up all the dirt and dust that gets knocked loose, and start work up in the studio, wiring, insulation, subfloor, and the spiral stairs will be here in just a couple weeks.
I need to balance the bank account again, need to pay a few bills again, need to run some errands tomorrow or Wed. and I need to mow again.
I am making progress on the garden weeds, I am almost done with reweaving the cane back in my rocker, have cane ordered and it should be in shipping now, this time I ordered a full bundle so will finish up this chair and store the rest.
It's ok to be back at work, my vacation was frustrating at times because I expected to see work being done here, be doing some of that clean up, go back to work with a good start on the attic studio, the central air done and be planning out the future upstairs bathroom.
My life here is pretty good, I won't say it's perfect, there's a few rough spots, some things that go hard that I don't often mention or write about..but I keep finding a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or find a blessing amongst the rocks and thorns.
This house might not ever be finished, this place might always be a renovation in progress but it's my renovation, and my little corner of the world and it works for me. I make a point of making it work, and I put in the sweat equity and the dollars that it takes to make it work.
Morning will start early, know the dog will have my up early and the air cond guys will be here early too, by 7:30 or so if the message on the answering machine is right..oh, great, Julie gets the window units and I get windows I can see out of and a quieter house!!! Ya, I like that idea...

construction delays here

2011-07-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

Well, the air was to be done this week,now I expect them tomorrow, the contractor for roof and dormer was hoping to start here Monday, the 11th but first rain and now our heat wave has slowed him a week and he might be here Friday but the 18th is more likely.
I am on vacation this week, the rubbish bin is here now, I pouted yesterday after talking to my contractor and then curled up on Larry's couch and took a nap. It didn't change any thing much but I will do what I can this week, I can work on the wiring that needs done on both the north and south end walls, I can insulate those walls or at least get started on that. I can pull out some of the insulation that has gotten wet with the leaking roof problems and dispose of that. I can work to move some of my stuff stored up in that attic so it's more out of the way for the crew.
I can still work on the weeds in the garden, I will still have the mowing and watering to do and I still have Darrell's doctor appointment Thursday morning in Springfield as he is not to drive himself until after that appointment.
So, today Larry and did his blood work in Rushville, took cucumbers and beans to his sister, went to breakfast with her and husband, went to check out camp grounds in the area, went to Dot Foods, late lunch and came home and so from 8 am until after 3 p.m.I had Larry entertaining me.
Now I have picked the squash, sprayed the plum trees for the Japanese beetles and the squash for the squash bugs, looked at the tomatoes and paid my bike insurance bill.
I need to make a Wal-Mart run and also buy stamps so will do the stamps tomorrow as I have a letter with medical bills to send to State Farm, these should have been paid last month with the settlement and I bet they were but the accounts are not up to date. They were on the list of what was being paid out when we did the settlement paperwork.
I can buy some of what I need for the electrical work in the attic at Wal-Mart and get started with it instead of waiting until I go to Springfield, that will help me feel i am not totally wasting my vacation time.
I'm making knitting progress on Jake's socks but not on my purple sweater. I have to do the repairs on the old crochet bedspread I am sending to my aunt, she will enjoy it far more than I will and it was a great auction find.
I can also work on the caning replacement for the back of the rocker that was last summer's auction treasure. I have a lot of the materials needed so can start and order what I need, work until I run out and finish up after the materials come.
So, I don't need to pout or be screaming bored with my vacation. I might not be getting my new roof but I will be getting stuff done here that does need done.
Larry knows and laughs about the word 'relax' being my least favorite work in the English language.
Now it's not yet 5 p.m. and getting dark, so we might get some rain, it's needed and would help break the heat wave. My house is staying comfortable with what my kitchen window unit puts out but Larry's trailer gets miserable by afternoon and it's late at night before it really starts to cool off. Heart conditions do not tolerate real cold or hot and humid very well.

3 Day weekend and it's hot and dry so far. ..

2011-07-03T08:00:00.001-07:00

Larry and I went to a family reunion picnic yesterday, his mother's side and out rural in a tiny town that's slowly shrinking away. I did start the day with watering the garden and picking the green beans.
Today I tried on the way too large bike cover, I can alter it and for $20 including shipping I can make it fit, the cost was less than buying the fabric and making 1 from scratch. It's now marked and on my bed, I might get that done today, I can't be outside long working on the weeds as the heat index is already high and it's not 10 am yet.
I finally finished the pair of blue socks I have been working on for months, they are mine and not a priority. I am making very slow progress on the purple sweater, I have it done to the sleeves and they knit down from the shoulder. I think they are about 1/2 of the length they need to be so they have grown some but at 8-10 rows an inch I can knit a long time and not see any amount of progress on the sleeves. It will be done before it's cold enough to wear it.
Larry is working on my little blue bike again, he's not sure what the problem is but I think part is for his own entertainment, good thing I have the red bike to ride..
He will resolve it's problems, if needed I will order parts for it and he will get it back together and running.
So, next week the house gets air and I get price quotes for air/heat in the attic, the week after that I am on vacation while the work on the roof gets started.
It will allow the crew to work later as I won't have to leave for work and I will be on hand if needed and to help with daily clean up, and I will hopefully get some work done outside that has been put off too long. All the flowerbeds here need work so it's not just the garden that has a weed and grass problem I need to deal with.
But I am doing far better than I was this time last year. I am back at work, I have gained a lot more walking ability and I AM NOT INVOLVED WITH a very dishonest man who has huge financial problems, I am still getting calls from collection agencies looking for him. I also get them for my oldest son, the people who used to own this house and who ever had my cell phone ## before I got it, normal problem with pre-paid cell phones but part of the small annoyances in life.
But I hope that man in Utah gets his creditors to leave me alone, it's hard for me to have a good opinion or him with stuff like this happening several times a month.
Well, I need to head back out and deal with some more of those garden weeds as I have a lot out there I want done in the next few days

Almost July

2011-06-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

and we are having sunshine and temps up in the mid 80's so it actually feels like summer now.
A 3 day weekend, we have a family picnic Saturday and I hope to work on the weeds in the garden and on my blue bike. I still need to resolve it's fuel problem, think moisture in the fuel or dirty gas.
Work is going ok, have a week of vacation coming when we start work on the house in mid-July. I am looking forward to not having window air unit running and making noise. A quieter house, more comfortable and in time lower utility bills will sure be great improvement, along with that replaced roof so I don't deal with leaking roofs and all that brings.
I will pay some bills on line in the morning and also call and make arrangements for the roof disposal, want to know we will have the dumpster/roll off here when the work starts or before.
I drooled over wood floors on line today before work and priced sub-floor, will have that sub floor but not sure I will ever be able to afford the wood floor I would like but sure saw some nice flooring.
1 of the women in our dept got the maint. planner/kitting job so that put her job up to bid, I hope to get it and be permanent instead of temp so bid for the opening.
i am watching finances tightly so that my settlement goes as far as possible on this old house and the work I need or want done but get tempted by techie stuff and dolls, good thing I am too busy to go to Best Buys and play right now. .. .

Shopping for stairs

2011-06-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

I have been shopping for stairs, spiral stair kits to be exact, as that is what will be installed for access to my attic. And I did not know there were so many out there, but have several price quotes and will get the stair kit ordered. It might not be here when the job starts but it will show up and get installed.
Both my air cond. guy and my roof/dormer guy were here today, and I have busy July coming up, and will take a week of vacation time when the roof/dormer contractor is here.
I have to arrange the refuse bin we will need,and I have to figure out where to put everything I have sitting on shelves now while the work is being done.
Once the air is done I get rid of the window units and loose that noise, once the roof is done I will get to enjoy a dry house and know it won't be long before the dehumidifier quits running all the time and I will start hearing the noises from the train instead of all the noise from things running in the house.
there is going to be a lot of work going on here for the summer, and possibly this fall and winter.
And in the meantime I have to change oil in my little bike, and work in the garden. We have a picnic thing Sunday with Larry's family, but I do not have this coming or next weekend planned out and will have time to catch up on a few things needing done around here, like weed the garden...

great Weekend

2011-06-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

I will get photos posted but not this minute...Larry and I had a great weekend, didn't let the rain bother us, stayed until Monday morning, had sun all Sunday afternoon and evening so ran around on our bikes, walked a bit, Larry visited with 1 of the camp hosts, someone he has known for many years, I went riding while the guys chatted and caught up.
Today was busy, business in Springfield, and did find the locksmith there could and did make me spare up keys for my little bikes, and for $2 per key which sure beats paying $9 for a blank, plus postage and then paying to have the key cut. That was the on line seller I found who would have gladly sold me the same key blanks the local locksmith had. I did try the ones for the blue bike and they work just fine..
And I signed the contract with Brannon's for the central air, that will be done within 3 weeks, probably within 2, depends on when the parts all come in, someone will be here Thursday to let me know more and also look at what I want for the attic studio, and then work up some options and prices for me.
I got 2 deck materials costs, 1 for pressure treated, 1 for composite, think deck will be support and frame/joices and then deck it a few boards at a time as paycheck allow...composite is just over double the cost of pressure treated, so that would help me work the higher cost and better/lower maint material into the project...
Busy day tomorrow, and plans for the weekend, several auctions in Virginia I want to check out and might go to Springfield with Julie and do some things there, Larry thinks a 'girl' day would be good for me, or more like he does not want to be drug around all day while I play...LOL, he's smart enough to know I will be going like a 5year old on an all day sugar high.

Where's that list we made last camping trip??

2011-06-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

We did make a list, in the netbook, of what we need and didn't have, what needs done, and so forth, now I need to print it out or copy it and edit/print so we can work on getting more organized this trip..
The awning is on, we did get 2 sizes of trash bags,aluminum foil, hangers and a new set of on clearance sale sheets, these are for Larry's bed at his house, some what will fit his taller mattress and won't be crawling off in the night, hate that.
And the phone calls today were a car salesman, Larry, insurance guy and a bill collector looking for Michael Ferrin. The machine got the car salesman's call, he can't call early enough to catch me before work, Larry wanted to let me know he had the awning on and was back home, insurance guy and I have an appointment next week.
I don't enjoy calls from collection agencies looking for someone who does not live here..that includes my oldest son, a man I used to date, people who I bought this house from 6+ years ago. . . some I can get stopped, the computer ones are annoying as I can't do much about them and the bad attitude humans get me hostile fast.
But Larry and I have reservations to go camping, a house/dog/bird sitter arranged, the mowing is done, the laundry is washed and dry, the weather will be ok, we will have the dvd player and a stack of movies, I will raid my collection ..and take my Kindle, my knitting, and probably not the bikes but will call a friend about borrowing his ramps, the same ones that I sold him as I didn't own a bike any longer. . .
Work is going ok, I get a bit faster at sorting equipment racks each week, foot hates me some nights but that will be the normal for the rest of my life. I am making a living, paying my bills, supporting myself and my old house,my pets and hobbies.
I'm dating a great guy who isn't trying to change me, isn't trying to use me, isn't lying to me about some huge debts. And we do stuff together that we both enjoy and want to do, like last week's trip up north, and the camping trips, and scooting about town on our little bikes.
The house will get it's new roof, and probably central air. I might get started on that deck in the back, that would be nice and I might get some other stuff done, new sidewalk along the south side of the house would be nice, new porch would be great...
I might break down and buy a few nice summer tops that I can wear instead of t-shirts, now that would be a change.
It's time for a quick snack and off to bed, know I will be up early and have a long and busy day....

A Great Weekend

2011-06-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

I took Friday off as a single vacation day and Larry and I headed up to Rockton IL to see and bring home another 1981 Honda Passport, red and in almost showroom condition.
The trip up was the I and make fast time, as the seller had plans that meant picking up the bike before 4:30 or on Saturday. We made it in good time but had to call to get directions to the house, his e-mailed directions were terrible but his wife was a great 'over the phone' map. LOL, but we did buy the bike and loaded it in my little truck, under the camper shell. It was a tight fit and I am glad Larry did not have my camera in hand when I was worming to the front of the truck bed to strap down that little bike.
Then it was down to Rockport and find a motel, then off to Red Lobster to eat very well, we were stuffed and back to the motel. We actually went to Rock Cut State Park on the way down, thought it was very pretty, enjoyed the ducks feeding their young on the spillway there.
We came home by smaller roads, followed Rock Cut River some, and just played tourist, I drove and Larry had great map book and was a terrific navigator. I think we both had a really great escape.
I even got home in time to pick the green beans again, we picked up strawberries on the way back so ended up with fresh green beans and ham for supper with strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Sunday I went to Springfield and went down to Edwardsville with others in our doll club for our Annual June meeting at Laurie's shop. This was the first time I was able to go so had NO idea what a fab shop she and her father have there.
The little bike did get out of my truck Monday and is Larry's garage, it's raining now so I am not getting the neglected mowing done, Larry is working on the red truck again, some hose blew Sunday, he's off to pick up the replacement that had to be ordered, I have house chores so will be working on them instead of off playing with him.
We do have the new awning in and Larry's got a Thursday early appt. to get it installed and we have camping reservations again so plan to run out Friday and set up camp, hopefully more sheltered than the first trip and hopefully better set up and organized than the first trip.

Reservations Made!

2011-06-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

And we are going camping again, same state park, different camp site, with afternoon shade and hopefully not as much wind exposure if a storm comes up. And the bikes are going with us, or so the current plans are.
My little bike goes to work with me now, it's a short ride, only 2.5 miles or so, I would not have much chance to ride it otherwise. And lots of people think it's cute. I can like that, I am female and we like 'cute'.
Today we had the first green beans from the garden, I have them weeded and hilled up and hope they do better than prior years, I have not hilled them up for support in the past.
The corn is short and starting to push up tassel stalks, way too short so I do not expect very many ears or good corn this year, the weather just was NOT good this spring for corn.
I don't feel the garden is growing 'right' this year, our late and cold spring and then turning so hot has not been good for the garden, some of my flowers are blooming early too, and I need to dead head some already.
The plant/company has done some computer updating again, and many of us are now password locked out again. I will call tomorrow, go in early so I can go into HRD and get the problem resolved for me, wanted to check the coming paycheck and see if the missing 2 days and overtime had been 'found'.
Have someone coming about Air cond tomorrow, 3rd bid but I don't consider the place in town to be worth considering. . . if I want skinned and taken for a fool I can buy a few lottery tickets.

busy week here

2011-06-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

and I need to get with it, eat breakfast, make a phone call or 2, get with the weeds and grass in the garden.
Have someone coming to look at the air cond job so they can give me a bid, have laundry to put away and need to wash a load of jeans, floors are a mess, sand and wet sandy dog, something about all the rain, but we track in a lot of sand any way, it beats clay in my opinion.
Not sure if Larry will go with me to get the newest bike for our collection, it's a long and hard drive for him, hips and knee gets to hurting bad and it will fit in my little truck, I measured my bike, it's same size. And I hope to have Friday off and go up then, if Larry goes, I will spring for a hotel for the night and come back Saturday.
Now I am wanting a small trailer to haul little bikes on, my truck now has air and would easily pull small trailer with the bikes when we go camping.
the garden is growing fast, I need to give away the leaf lettuce that needs picked and thin the radishes, have peas that will soon need picked and the green beans are making tiny beans so I will soon be giving away loads of beans. The corn is getting taller and Kid only killed a few stalks, the potatoes are flowering, my first potatoes here. The squash and cucumber plants are growing slowly, but looking good, I need to get out there and get busy with the hoe where I can use it and then the seat and hand tools in the beans and such where I can't use the hoe as well.
It is a better summer than last year's was, I am so much stronger, doing more than my orthopedic team ever expected me to be able to do, more than I expected me to do.
Having found a small enough motorcycle I can ride is wonderful, I like the bigger tires than a scooter has, easier on our rough roads and they are vintage cute bikes, I like that part too.
I have made a lot of progress emotionally in the past few months with this recovery, and with getting my life back to a stable and content place. It will never be the same as before the accident but I've come back a long, long way.
Well, time to get busy with the day.

the much awaited camping trip

2011-06-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we were a bit disorganized but did manage to leave town and get to the camp ground and Larry was starting to set up when I headed back to town and Work on Friday.
I found my way back to camp with no problems just after midnight and Saturday was blue skies, hot and doing great. Until late afternoon when I took the netbook and headed on foot to the host to use the free wifi and book reservations for the weekend after next. It being Father's Day and the place packed...and the storm came in, I did not have the BRAINS to head back to the camper, winds tore the awning off . . and our great weekend away went flat/sour fast. Larry has everything insured, we will recover from it, my netbook will dry out and be fine but for a 'shakedown' camping trip, we sure managed to shake a lot of things we didn't plan to.
There sure are some advantages to tent camping, but Larry has to have air cond. with his heart condition. And I admit that 'portable house' of his sure is great 'digs' and I know he will calm down, get over the mad, he's already called the insurance, he is already arranging to get the awning roller thing home, and ya, he will go camping again, next trip we will do better, I understand what goes where, what needs done and we will be better set up, have stocked better, take the little bikes...
But I am glad to be here in my house with the birds and dog while he unwinds with his recliner and tv and without my chatter...

It'sNot for Sale..

2011-06-01T23:41:00.001-07:00

Well, I got my first offer to sell the bike--No, it's not for sale, NO I will not set a price, and I rode it to work today. It sure looked little there with all the much bigger bikes in our bike parking area. The ride home was nice, but I am wanting a windscreen/bug shield for it. And a good fitting helmet or brain bucket for my head..
3rd week on the new job, 2 out so we are all working a bit of overtime to get everything done that has to be done before we all can leave for the night. I won't complain about the extra $ as I have plenty of bills to eat it up.
We did have a good weekend even with all the rain. I got some weeding done, the mowing done, it needs done again so maybe tomorrow I will get it done before work. Had some bike time, some quality Larry time, and rested up some.
Now I have to get organized, get things done, get calls made to more contractors and get bids on the work here needing done. If I don't hear from State Farm by the end of the week I will make a note to me about calling Monday.
in the meantime, I have things to get done, weeds to pull, a very small motorcycle to get used to riding...

Love the job change

2011-05-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

Or at least my foot does and it was great having a weekend off to do things and attend church again. Larry has my little Honda Passport running and so I rode it around some, still have to get the plates on it but pal Carl didn't sign it where he needed to, talked to him by phone last night, he's glad the bike is running and will be in town Wed and come by and sign the title for me, he's on 2 week vacation so I can't catch him in plant today before work.
Saturday we did breakfast out with Larry's pals, then I came home to get some things done while he did yard sales with his daughter, she's hunting baby things for the baby due early this fall.
Later we went to Clayville for a festival held there, came back through Jim Edgar Panther Creek state park and looked at the camping area, picked up information and marked our little map with where there was some shade. The campground is new enough that the trees planted have not yet grown enough to provide much shade.
Larry's 30' 5th wheel does have central air but it's nice to know which sites would suit us best, and we liked it that the camp sites are so widely spaced, more feeling of privacy than some camp grounds, despite how short the trees are.
Church was great and many were glad I was able to come again. We have a cook-out after services next Sunday and I will bring fresh veggies and dip.
Busy getting bids on the work here for new roof with dormer and knee walls installed, and on central air. Have some places to call still, know a roofing company is coming Wed. I have hopes of seeing the first bid show up soon for roof/dormer and knee walls, it will be mailed.
The first for central air is about the same as what I paid to have central heat, new furnace and new heat ducting put in that old house in MO I bought when Sam and I divorced, but that was 1994 and costs have gone up.
I will have to put some photos here of the new little bike and also the work on the house as it's done. With over 80mpg I will really use the bike around town and to work all I can, and also still ride my old 10-speed bike, it's good for my heart and lungs and legs.

Beat tired, long shifts this week

2011-05-19T00:23:00.000-07:00

I'm putting in a 7 day work week this week due to the job change and overtime the past 2 nights so IRS will like next week's check, and I will too. But my old body is not impressed, it's tired, it hurts and the gnat bites hurt and itch and I did put stuff on to try and avoid that nasty bug stuff...
but Kid and I did get some work done outside, still a lot of weeds and grass in the garden but have a good start on it now, got to keep working out there despite the bugs thinking I am a free meal.
Talking with contractors now for the new roof and dormer, need several quotes/bids and then make a decision and get on a work schedule to have that done. It will be great to no longer have a leaking roof, and know I am well started on the attic studio space.
Larry is still playing around with my Passport, it's not running yet but he is chasing down wiring problems and correcting as he goes.
I'm still getting a lot of trash spam coming from M.F.'s mail address, not impressed and wish they would stop showing up...easy to delete but it's still annoying.
The job change puts me non-union and so my earned vacation time was paid out/cashed out so I have great paycheck coming and wrote the check for what I still owe on the little bike and hope to see the title signed over and in my hand Friday.
Think the meds for the bug bites and ouch are kicking in..falling asleep so it's time to go get into bed instead of falling asleep here...

rain and more rain

2011-05-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Kid is doing better, most of the garden is planted and up, have a lot of weeding that needs done but too wet and cool to be outside.
Start work in frock/equipment tomorrow, better pay and hopefully less misery for my foot and ankle.
will be heading to Larry's place soon, he's not sure what to fix for supper either.
It's been a long haul, the past 7.5 months of work but I managed to do my job and carry my own weight and do work the others left un-done.
right now I'm feeling a bit moody, nothing wrong really, same stuff, too much debt, roof that leaks worse with every hard storm than it did the storm before, foot and ankle that hurts most of the time...
Know my life is pretty good, getting things worked out, bills go down a bit every month, the garden is planted, something I could not really do last year, i got stuff divided and re-planted that I wanted to do last spring and could not do by myself and had no help to do the job.
The job change is not permanent at this time but could be, and 2nd shift all week so that will make a change for Larry and I, we will have to figure a way to have quality time together during the week, harder with the schedule but he is looking forward to weekends together instead of the thursday/friday stuff I have had.
I've got an old Honda Passport I still owe $ on that we will be working on, hopefully I will soon also have my motorcycle permit before we have it running and it paid off really soon so I have the title and get it licensed.
Will have the settlement done soon, will be glad to have those medical bills off my back and no longer worry about them.
Glad I have gotten the mouches out of my life, including my #2 son. He's here in town but knows I don't have any money to help him out. He needs a job and to earn his own living, I have to, others have to, he can too...

Idiot Dog

2011-05-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

Kid will not stay in the yard, even with me outside and calling him back, over and over. He did not understand that those vehicles were Dangerous..until this morning. He and I were walking the yard, early, and he had to be Stupid and run across Wall Street to go sniff at the corner where the people across the street set out their trash.
Trash day was yesterday and they do not use a trash can, just the plastic bags on the ground and plenty of them..so plenty to sniff.. I am calling that fool dog back and he waits until there are a car and a truck coming to decide to dart across the street..The pickup hit him, and he took off running,not home to Mommy but wildly through the back and up the alley.
It took over an hour before I found him and got him home, he has some scrapes and I hope he has learned something about those moving vehicles..I need a fence or electric pet fence here, I need a dog to get smarter, get a little less wild and crazy and figure out staying on our property is NOT the most stupid thing he could be doing..
So, now I have had my early morning stress, I can't afford to take the dog to a vet so he and his scrapes will have to heal up on their own. Most are small but 1 on the right lower shoulder area is rather big. He's going to hurt for a while but he usually learns fast, I do not have to put the trash up,he does not mess with my knitting, or shoes or chew up books, even if they are on the floor. I am hoping his little brain will think about this and figure out something about streets and cars and stay out of the street now.
Think I will go play with a pattern and some fabric, the dolls are so much better behaved than my much loved but not very smart dog...

Sun is out and I'm hurting,

2011-05-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

man, that stinks, we finally start seeing nice, be outside and work in the garden and with my flower beds and both my hands and my right foot/ankle hate me.
With 3 people on vacation in a department of 11 there is no way I have a day off until sometime next week.
Kid is restless and wants out to play and run, which means I spend my time getting him back into our property most of the time we are outside together and that gets frustrating.
But I did get the temp opening in the frock/equipment room and start that job 5/16 and it has a better pay scale. That should help the finances here but I will have to be careful and practical and pay off debt as fast as I can.
Larry is doing well, he is walking more and doing small things on the camper, yard clean up and of course, running around town and enjoying having more energy. The new pacemaker really seems a lot bigger than the last one but some is swelling that will go down over time.
I am looking at auto web sites and dreaming a new with warranty and loads of safety features auto and today I looked at local realty listings. I don't want to move, I do like my little place, but at times I look at all the work needing done and get discouraged, especially when I think about living here through the renovations.
I should see a settlement from the accident by the end of this month. It will be good to get that behind me and have 1 less weight on my shoulders.
My blood pressure is staying down to acceptable numbers and I am checking it 2x per day,ok, so I do forget or not bother when I get home from work some nights but I am watching it. I did salt and vinegar chips for supper last night but I am still doing without caffeine and surviving that.
The Kish club doll has not arrived so I need to call them today and did get the phone # written down, now need to see if I can find my club membership card.
But the teas I ordered are here in town and out for delivery according to the tracking.
Paycheck is very short with only 3 days on it, but I will pull from savings and know next week I will see a lot of overtime and I am not sorry I took 2 days off to be with Larry for his surgery. And not taking it as paid vacation days means I have more vacation days to enjoy.
Someone is turning Kid loose when I am at work on weekends, so a locking run is top of the list and I will check the bank balance and see if I can swing the stuff today.
Time to get a shower and into clothes for the day, then can probably call Kish in Denver and check on the doll that should have gotten here..or so I think...

Happy May day

2011-05-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Not a bad work day but the family reunion Larry was to attend didn't go well, his oldest sister had chest pains and they took her to Rushville and now will be taking her on to the hospital in Peoria, she's from up in that area. I decided to stay home and not add to the confusion. Plus I will be working 12 days straight and know long hours in a vehicle and at a hospital and back home will be hard on me, without me, Larry will probably ride with his sister Pauline and her husband.
I will pray for all of them, safe roads and that Gladys is soon stable and home. Know it will be a long trip for Larry and is hard for me to not go running up there but know I need to be resting if I am to make it through the long work shifts and not be miserable with pain.
My blood pressure is running crazy, it's spiking very high so I am not checking it at least 2x a day and have really reduced my intake of tea and coffee. I will watch it for a while and if it continues to spike high or starts doing it again, I will know what it's been doing and take the little record to the doctor.. I do know stress is some of the problem, and work stress is something I can't do a lot to resolve but at least Larry's surgery is done and he's improving every day.
I will have to deal with State Farm and get that issue off my worry list, and the few other small things I fret about.
I'm coping with cutting down on caffeine but did notice a bit of headache in the mornings, not sure it's from no caffeine but know I don't run on the stuff so my body will adjust fast and I have some herbal teas coming, was easier to order on line than to run to Rushville and a better price.
I'm still waiting on the doll from Kish collector's club, had hoped she would be here by now but did e-mail them and ask, a doll shop has them for sale already so I know they are being shipped.
Well, it's movies and knitting this evening instead of supper with Larry and I will be sleeping here alone so I better clean off my bed, I've been trying to sew some so cleared my sewing area. Maybe I will even make some time to sew or at least cut out the outfit I want to work on.

A long and wet month.

2011-04-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

But the garden is in, or most of it is in and up, most of the pampas grass roots I pulled from my established plants have started growing, only 1 along the south berm has not started growing and it will be easy to replace.
The hosta I divided seems to be doing well, so the north side of my lot is slowly improving and I have been working to find and remove all the tree seedlings that need pulled before they get so big I have to dig them out.
Larry's pacemaker surgery went well and early so that was good for him and those of us sitting and waiting. They put a cot in his room for me so I was handy through the night if/when he needed something. And the process of getting him released went faster than we expected, we were in the truck and heading home before 11:30 am.
I took loads of snacks, lots of knitting, my Kindle, my smallest Ipod, my latest hardback, tea bags and 1 of my traveling cups so I was stocked for the long wait and the stay overnight.
It's stayed cool and a lot of rain, but only 1 frost since I planted the garden. Things are not growing much but at least they are growing, I still need to buy and plant the more tender plants like tomatoes and squash, cucumbers but will be buying the plants soon.
I am waiting for my doll from the Kish club, I joined this year once I have my tax return. The dolls were expected in Feb. but didn't arrive in Denver until mid month April, and have been shipped out but mine has not gotten here and I don't have a tracking number or know if it's been shipped or with who.
I still don't have a settlement with State Farm but think they do have all the medical bills now and I will write them and ask for a date/appointment so we can get this moving on. It will be good to get it behind me and also know all the medical providers are paid.
Larry's daughter and son were there with me, at least until he was well settled in his room, it's the first time I have spent any time with them, I don't know them well and we all have such busy lives, they visit him on their way home from work here in town, and when I'm not around.
They don't object to him having a life, but this dating/girlfriend is very big change for adult kids to adjust to, they got along well with his wife, didn't want him alone and lonely after she passed away but he's not been a single and dating man since they were kids.
I have 2 days off coming up, and then will be working 12-13 days in a row while Anthony is on vacation and working alone most of those shifts. Know my foot will be hurting and miserable but will tough it out, Anthony worked for me Monday so I could be with Larry and worked alone yesterday so I could have that off too.
I am still watching bids posted and looking to bid to something that my foot will tolerate better but not holding my breath.

leaking roof

2011-04-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

and plenty of rain to water all my garden and landscaping. Move the bed away from the leaking ceiling and go back to sleep for a while. Count my blessing that I do have a home, a job, Larry, and most of my life is pretty good.
This year I can not only walk my small place but I can also do my own mowing, chase my own weeds and dig up and divide some of my plants. Between the pampas grass and the hosta plants that I divided and spread out, I would have spent around $100 or more to buy the same amount of plants.
Work is hard and challenging, for my foot and because of the co-workers and what they do or don't do..man, I hate dealing with spoilt brat kids or cleaning up after spoilt brat kids and that's how it feels far too often.
I will watch for job openings, read the posted bid sheets and stay tough.
Larry is such a joy and blessing, he's so stable and strong, and solid. He's going to do just fine with this up coming surgery and we are going to have wonderful days, terrific nights and grow our relationship.
My finances are scary tight now, I get so angry about what I spent going out west, and while there, yes, resent the deception and lies, do feel I was used and deliberately used. But I know that part of my financial problems are some bad spending habits, the accident, and my own being stupid.
So, where I can't change the past, I am working hard to get things in good order, change some attitudes I have about money, keep a tighter rein on my money, and get the blasted plastic debt paid off and close most of the accounts. I don't need to ever be in this position again.
So, now to get with the stuff I need to do in the attic, get with stuff I need/want to do before work and go to work once again. I do have a really good life, I did make a very stupid choice in trust over a year ago, ouch, pay the bills for that, and move on. It sure could have been far worse...

The landscaper is working again!!!

2011-04-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am my own landscaper, but I am getting stuff done that I wanted to do last year and was not able to do. I now have pampas grass starts along the entire outer side of the south berm and am watering them now. I have even got some new starts along the north fence where I lost plants, will need a few more to fill in the rest of the gaps but at least I am making progress there too.
The hosta plants are getting divided and re-set so they will be more spread out, cover more area along the northwest side of my property, too much shade for the pampas grass in that area.I got my garden sprinkler cleaned so now it works like I need it to and I ran water in the soaking hose that lives along the east property line, it waters the day lilies and pampas grass along that alley.
I keep pulling tree seedlings everywhere I find them, and will be working on the weeds in the flower beds next.
Kid is not good help and won't stay on our property so ends up on his run and miserable before I am done outside for the day. He will learn but it's going to take time and a really tall fence or electric pet fence.
And I am running some auto comparison stuff for that vehicle I can't afford but would like to replace my old truck with..maybe, maybe...
I am so glad I am able to do more outside this year. My foot will always have problems and I know over time some will get worse but at least I am able to pull the weeds, have a garden, walk my small place and enjoy seeing what progress I have made in the years I have owned this place.
I still have a long way to go but I am seeing progress once again..

The doll club meeting

2011-04-11T06:53:00.001-07:00

I had a really good time at our doll club meeting Sunday, took a vacation day so I could attend and do the program for the meeting. It was on artist dolls and I took some of my dolls that had not been out of their boxes for 7+ years. I also was hostess so did vegie and meat/cheese trays that were a great hit and Larry and I will share the leftovers, he needs to eat more vegies and it sure makes easy packing for my work meals.

Oh, rats, the stuff I don't have and need

2011-04-06T06:50:00.001-07:00

There is a shipping position open in plant and I have no resume to submit. I have not had one for years, and now, to apply I need to put 1 together...asap...and not even sure where to start.
I am supposed to do something at the doll club meeting this Sunday and don't have that stuff ready either, but it won't take too long for me to chase the information and make up the hand out sheets I will then have printed out at some office supply place on the way to the meeting..cheaper than using my printer ink..so I can get that together but a resume???
I don't have a clue as to where I need to start- - -don't have enough education, LOL, at least not what would help, computer classes, office management type stuff, all my education on that line was when Ben was in diapers and he's 25 now. I don't know when I started as supply clerk, but can go back through some of my own info here and get that, and then there is the 8.5 months I lost with the accident...
But I have until Monday to apply, and I can either get my act together and put together a resume to submit with the on line app or I can not try for the job...and I do want to try. It's 2nd shift and salary but it's something to consider and would get me off my feet, still in the same plant, still doing something I would enjoy and find challenging and worth doing.
Guess I better get my act together as I also need to get the mower started and mow the grass here too before it decides to rain.

Into April and warmer weather..

2011-04-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

Did get some stuff done outside, too windy today after work, good work shift but foot is finding it harder and harder to tolerate the job demands.
Larry is cooking tonight, I need to head over there soon, want to pack a change of clothes, need to turn the dryer back on, stuff in there is not yet dry.
Need to start working on the stuff for my doll club meeting this coming Sunday, on doll artists and their dolls..and where some are now, what they are doing...will get busy with that this week and get my dolls out and ready to go with me. Have the Sunday off as a paid vacation day...
Need to make a list and might do that this evening while Larry and I watch tv. I now have a light on 'my' side of the bed so I can see to knit or read while we relax and I have my feet up...nice improvement, foot appreciates me being down with foot elevated, my restless hands are happy and Larry has me there with him, everyone but my dog and his cat seem to win, LOL.
Decided to corrupt Jake's girlfriend, put a link to Tonner Dolls on her facebook page, she's into Twilight and he has that license....nothing like trying to gain another doll collector, now to see if she wants to learn to knit, and if she sews....
Yes, I am plotting...

cold and car shopping

2011-03-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

It's cold, I'm cold and didn't sleep well, foot/ankle hurting issues there. The sun is out and I've been car shopping on line. I don't know if I will be buying but I am comparing and making lists and looking at warranty and mpg. I told Larry that color would be an issue too, I don't want to buy a black or really dark colored vehicle, we do want standard trans and air.
And I made a call about the medical bill from Clinical Radiologists that came Saturday. I have most of those accounts paid off now but this one, it's stupid how slow some of this has processed and I do know it's not been my Blue Cross that has been the delay.
But it looks like the medical bills from the accident are all in order,and I should soon see the paperwork from Blue Cross so that can be turned in and we can get with finishing up the settlement from this accident. It's been over a year now, and will soon be 6 months since I returned to work.
I'm sleeping badly from pain issues, Larry is concerned some but knows I have been trying to bid to something easier for my foot and I am taking some tylonal now and then. He doesn't mind that it disturbs his sleep once in a while, but he knows I want to be able to stay at Cargill as long as possible and I want to be able to work in the garden and flower beds, go for walks with him, camping and bike rides as soon as we have his bikes running and that I want to be able to take Kid walking, and ride my 10 speed this summer.
Think I will take a nap today before work, it sounds so lazy but I spend most of Saturday and Sunday at work on my feet and moving so end up beat tired lately, today will be a long and busy day but my Tuesdays and Wednesdays are usually easier for me.
I know I have a very good life, a great man in my life and things are so much better for me today than they were a year ago. I have walked a long and hard road to get to this point and place and have worked hard for the healing progress and for the stability I have gained.

Getting old, you know it's going to storm when. ..

2011-03-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

The plate and screws in my right leg start to hurt, or the heel bone and nerves in that same foot really get uncomfortable and stay that way. Or Larry's left knee hurts and won't let up...made a restless night for both of us. An Kid had a huge ham bone, which had to be salty, he consumed a huge amount of water, had to go out to take care of that several times...I'm going to work beat tired and Larry went home to take his meds, try Icy-Hot on his aching knee and to get some rest.
The kindle will keep me company for my McDonald's breakfast today and I will hope when I get home from work Larry is hurting less.
Rain is predicted so I will also move the bed away from the wall and where the bedroom ceiling leaks and hope it doesn't rain much.
I need to call State Farm and do a bit of bugging about the settlement, want all the medical bills off my back and budget and would like to see the settlement done, funds to start replacing the leaking roof and do a few other things.
I did some of the stuff yesterday that I normally do on Sunday so my 'need to do' list should be shorter today, do have the floors to clean and a few other things but hope to have a quiet day and not be running hard on my feet much. And I picked up a can of coffee so do have my coffee club dues and can get them paid.
Daffies are sure getting ready to open, I don't think Larry is really going to pick them so he can give me free flowers...but I did tell him I had them counted...and I did tell him that I love him, and will fuss and worry about it, it just comes with the 'girlfriend' job. He'd already figured that out, LOL, and we're comfortable with US.

E-mails for Meds we don't need.

2011-03-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today's mail had an e-mail from a guy I used to be involved with...and I think his e-mail has been hacked. If not, then he's sending me links for meds that Larry and I don't need, for problems we don't have. It's ok for others to use Viagra or Cialis or such but here it's not needed or wanted.
I'm not bragging or complaining but Larry and I have great communication, Good chemistry and a very honest and close relationship. We are both tactile and verbal people, like a lot of the same things for activities, same foods, and 'get the joke'.
It's a very new relationship, we know we are building for long term, and with a solid foundation and understandings.
Someone once told me that someday I might just meet my soul mate and I assured him that would not ever be happening, Larry thought his wife and he had a very good and solid marriage and nothing would ever come close, companionship was what he was looking for.
And now we are both figuring out this passionate, close, bonding thing we have between us, nothing either of us expected or were prepared to deal with.
We bring out something in each other, it's there, others can see it, feel it, hear it, it's more than a sexual thing, but that's sure right there, we'd NEVER be able to convince anyone that we are 'just friends' or platonic...
But when it comes to 'sexual enhancement aids' we really don't need them or want them...and e-mail links to them are not wanted...even when it's from hacked mail accounts.
Yes, I know Larry has a pacemaker, I was with him, and watched all the high tech stuff that was used yesterday for the annual device check up. And I go with him for the bi-weekly blood work that he has done every 2 weeks. And I will be there with him if he's in the hospital- -but I am not letting him go hold my hand the end of this month for my dental cleaning...I will probably walk down, it's just a few blocks and then show him my shining teeth once I have survived it.
I don't ill wish anyone, but do have some resentment about the funds I spent with trips out west, poor investment, not a cheap learning experience but I enjoyed the trips so will write off the costs and be so very glad I did the math and figured out the financial issues, found the foreclosure notice on line and learned I had been lied to about some huge financial obligations before they became my problems too.
My debt load is big enough without taking on that of someone else, but it's going down a bit at a time and Larry is very financially stable, able to pay his own way, puts into savings, everything he has is paid for and taken care of.
He also takes good care of his health, and that really matters to me, I am not a total health nut but do believe in personal responsibility and that includes for ones own body.
Now I need to get with payday errands, auto insurance, quick old house project and then get the pansy plants into the ground. Larry and I picked them up yesterday while we were in Springfield for his check up.

Another Monday

2011-03-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

And it's cold and overcast, I thought we were to get warmer and sun, and I know Thursday and Friday to expect RAIN, ya, again on my days off. Larry and I are running to Springfield, it will be a good day, regardless of the weather.
The Kindle came last week and it now has a knitted cover, screen savers are on the was and a waterproof cover too..so I can soak in the tub and enjoy e-books. And I really like it, have been taking it to work and reading on my meal breaks, know I will enjoy this device a lot, but still will be reading paper books. I won't spend a lot buying e-books when there are so many available free..
The missing jeep keys turned up yesterday. I parked in front of the house and found them in the street, along the curb. They are the right keys, the jeep moved a few feet further into the yard and Andy's blankets are now in the back seat and NOT in my house, in my way.
I won't go into all that could have happened, the house keys on that ring are NOT to my doors, the jeep didn't get stolen and the keys are now safely here in the house. Not very responsible of the son that had them, am sure dropping them was an accident that will not happen again. He won't have the keys again.
Made it to a doll club meeting yesterday, did some needle felting, but think I am making some sort of dog, not a cute white sheep. But it was nice to be able to go and I didn't loose much work time.
And I came home right after, got the dog fed, and a change of clothes so I could go to Larry's house.
He waited supper on me, we had steaks and vegies, the broiler set off the smoke alarm which would not shut up, we put it outside for a while. The meal was good, the movie was ok and we were asleep early, and woke up way too early.
He's not happy with the colder weather, he's been working on getting the camper ready to go play, wants to go as soon as we can, not far,just an out of town escape, he talked this morning about sitting out, drinking coffee and watching it get light. I am going to remember to raid my blankets so we can wrap up in blankets and not freeze while we do that sit out side and watching it get light stuff.
I know it's not every one's idea of camping but it will work for us, we don't have to go far, just a bit of escape from the routine and town.
And we are doing coffee at home more often, mornings we wake up together, unless it's the weekend, then I'm heading to work and it's McDonalds and I eat breakfast and head to the plant.
The plant is ok, did bid for a job change, hourly management and my dept.head has that department and will be making the decision so I do have a chance. It's look at our records, interviews and so forth before a decision is made, it's not by seniority and I do think I have a fair chance of getting the job.
Life is going ok, get unhappy with my foot and then have to remind myself just how far that foot has come beyond what was expected and how much more I am doing, how much less pain I am having.
Still don't have the settlement done with State Farm and I need to make a call and nudge a bit on that one. Would like it done, those medical bills paid and off my back and know if I have enough left to put on that much needed new roof here.

Quiet house, too quiet..

2011-03-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Friday's storm did something to the phone lines and I have had NO dial tone since then but still have internet. Am waiting for AT&T to deal with the problem which is their problem and NOT in my house..checked the little box outside with a phone I know works...
My new Kindle is out for delivery so I am impatient to get it here and be able to use and enjoy it, and learn how to use it.
It's about 32 outside today with winds that give us a wind chill of 27. Larry wants to start doing work with the camper and in his garage but it's too cold, he has a heater he can take out there but I don't see any reason for him to go get chilled and be miserable. That stuff will wait and maybe I can help him with some of it.
I'm going to toss a dvd in and watch the last of Eureka season 3, knit on the Kindle sock I started yesterday and relax, not much to do here but wash dishes, sweep the floor, fold a basket of clean clothes...and get ready for work...
Ben has not shown up, his stuff is together and waiting for him, Kid is being quiet, the birds are content.
I know I will have a busy shift but doubt if I get the 200 chain put away, it's too heavy for me to lift, wish I had gotten it received Saturday so maybe it would have been put away by Anthony or Dave...oh, well, we will manage.

The lust has died...not buying iPad2

2011-03-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

Here I have waited and drooled and waited for iPad2 to be out or at least have that official Apple news conference and now it's come and gone and there's not enough improvement/change for me to want 1 any more.
Which is great for the budget here, and once the state taxes are in my checking account I will be on line at Amazon.com to order that Kindle instead. And to set up a dedicated file, get another flash drive to dedicate to books so I can start working on that e-library I will enjoy.
And it's cool and gray today, had coffee early (for me) with Larry and now have a load of laundry going, bread dough raising and will be making some cinnamon rolls today. And maybe get the camping dishes washed up so they can go over to the camper.
I'm a bit restless today, need to sit and work on the knitting projects, need to get some things ready for tomorrow's trip to Springfield and Darrell's surgery. He's to have all his pre-op stuff done so that I don't end up making this trip and the surgery postponed. I let him know that I would be screaming mad if the surgery was not done and my valuable time taken up.
So, babysit the laundry and the baking and play with my knitting and Kid and quality time with Larry.
As for the iPad, I have a good net book, a good laptop, Jake's laptop, desk computer and will have an e-reader. I wanted a sd card slot and more ram at the same price, LOL, I don't consider 2 cameras to be a huge plus as I would not use them or would rarely use them...great way to save my $$$$ but I still think Apple puts out some great tech tools and toys.

Sad Day

2011-03-01T22:28:00.000-08:00

I came home with foot hurting and sad. 1 of our maint.supervisors has passed away suddenly. He took 2 months off to go play in Florida, planning to return in April, work a bit longer and then retire. His last conversation with me had to do with him going where it was warm and sunny and me having to stay and deal with the cold and snow and issue out parts.
Now I want to go curl up in Larry's bed and feel his arms around me and just be sad. But he's sleeping and I will be sad, drag the tea and popcorn to my bed and watch something on dvd for a while and think about Bob Brown, who will be missed in our plant and town.
And I am going to treasure and cherish every minute I have with the people who are close to my heart, be glad they are a part of my life.
And I am going to thank God for the techie box in Larry's chest that helps keep his heart working, for the meds that help keep him alive and healthy and for the the fact that he has become, that we have become a part of each others life.
We talked about his wife today, I know I would have liked her, he still loves her and I hope he always does. They had 23 years together and each day was a treasure for them. He knows she did not want him to spend his remaining time alone and grieving for her, but I know a part of his heart is hers and will stay that way.
I hope she is somewhere that she can look in on how he's doing, I hope she is ok with me becoming his gal pal, his lover.
I hope that Mrs. Brown has great treasures in her heart from the years she and Bob were together, that she has comfort in her time of loss, just no way for me to explain how hard this had hit me, to walk into work and hear the news.
We don't control that time we are walking on this earth, it's not really ours. We can be careful, we can eat right, live a good life and still, it's not always something we have much control or choice about.
Larry did not die with his heart attack, Bob Brown did, I didn't die in that car accident, Mark Young did.
I'm not ready to put into words spoken out loud my feelings for Larry, but the feelings are there, they are in my actions and on my face. And right now I want to curl up in his arms and grieve for the loss of a respected supervisor and for his wife's pain and loss.

Monday again..

2011-02-28T06:14:00.000-08:00

The past 2 weeks were loud, busy, occasionally insane but great. Ben is somewhere about but not here at the house, Jake is up in Chicago with his new girlfriend and will fly out from there, and the house is quiet and I am gaining on the cleaning.
Larry and I did supper out and then went by the skating party for his grandson. I didn't skate but both my feet thought they might be able to. Larry loved seeing me so 'grinnney' watching the kids skate.
It rained in the night, enough for me to need to move the bed and hear the roof leak. It won't always be that way, I cope now and Larry does understand how much better off this 'land bound' woman is with her own bit of land and leaking roof, old house than if I was in some rented apartment.
It will take a while to get things here back in order, I need to make more space in the storage area under the house for some more of Jake's stuff and will not gain on that for a few days. My next Friday off I am committed to being the driver for a friend having surgery so the day will start early with Larry and then I will be off to pick up Darrell and to Springfield and his surgery.
So, maybe it's a good thing that Larry starts his days around 4 am all the time.. We will do early breakfast at McD's and then I will be off to Virginia, take Darrell and his car, my netbook, knitting and book to Koke Mill Medical center.
We are talking camping and Larry thinks it's warm enough to start doing the stuff with the camper to get it ready, the drains, put water in the tank and run it through to check for leaks and I will help with some, wipe down the fridge inside and we have to start with stocking the kitchen with dedicated stuff, so we will go through my camping stuff first as I know I have some of what we will want.
We aren't going far, just getting out of town, away from my heavy street traffic, his place, just away from the routine and the tv and friends. We won't do a lot, walk, talk, enjoy quality time, but it will make a nice change of scenery for us. And the pals will imagine we are having a wild time, LOL, his son calls in the late afternoon and hopes he's not interrupting anything, Larry was sitting at the kitchen table and I was dealing with the laundry here. His daughter askes if he's getting enough rest and hopes his heart is doing ok.
Really, people, get a grip, We do Not spend All our time together Tearing each others clothes off.
Not that it's not a fun idea but real life seems to get in the way, as does the dog, my job, food and sleep needs....but we smile and laugh a lot, we like that holding hands stuff and ya, that was his hand on my bum while we stood rinkside and watched the kids skate last night, and neither of us were worried about who noticed (the lighting was dim, we were at the end of the protective wall there).
I'm not going to the Celtic Women concert, we watched the dvds I own, we talked and he would go if I did the driving once we got close to Peoria, and I woke up wanting to replace the bathroom sink here more. I can buy the dvd and cd and enjoy them over and over, the dvd won't let me pull the music for my ipod so it takes both here. And I can start looking at white pedistal style bathroom sinks that would suit me.
It's funny, for several months going to that concert was so high on my list and now I am really wanting the $$ for that bathroom sink replacement. It feels good to know I make those choices for my reasons and someone supports me, listens to my reasons and lets me bounce ideas around.
He watched my recovery from this accident and saw something he wanted to know better. Now he's seeing all the bits and pieces that were not showing there at McD's and other places here about town. I saw a quiet and good mannered man who did not look at me with pity or with disgust over my awkwardness and physical challenges. Who didn't talk to me often or gawk at me like I was some side show from the circus.
Now we are learning so much more, we are both very tactile people, and we talk, we ask and we listen. We both like quiet lives and hold some people very close to our hearts but don't need loads of friends or out with people all the time.
We both try and eat sensible and listen to our medical professionals so we are able to take better care of our bodies and have better quality of life.
We don't want big vacations, huge homes or to go on a cruse and for both of us, this town is Home, we like it here and don't want to move elsewhere. He takes care of what he owns, he manages his finances carefully and practically and he's at peace with the man he's grown into.
So, here I sit, knowing despite the leaking roof, the stuff that is taking up a lot of floor space in my tiny sewing space, the mess in the living room, I really have a very good life that just keeps getting better. And when I'm ready to try that skating, Larry will be there to support me, cheer me on if I can skate, even if it's slow and awkward and hug me close, no matter what.

Weekend and weekend and days off..

2011-02-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

I did have a great 'weekend' off and my Saturday and Sunday, days 1&2 of my work week were good too, and then there are 3 more days to the week, Larry's off those days, it's our small joke, he enjoys 'my' weekend, and the calendar weekend and then has 3 days off. It's my way of giving him a different way to see his life with retirement, for medical reasons far sooner than he had planned.
We had fun Thursday, with 6 for supper here, we were busy Friday and even got my plum trees pruned up. We hit McD's for my usual before work breakfast, and I had a busy but good work day and then it was supper at my house and a movie. Sunday was breakfast again at McD's, again,my usual for before work on Sunday and home. Me to rest and get off my foot, Larry to his place, long chat on the phone before I went to soak in the tub.
Boys are still in MO, not something I am happy about, reasons for that stink, and are not Jake or Ben's fault. they should be home Tuesday and Larry will get me to work if need be, I caught a ride home with friend Leta as I will NOT let Larry get up and come get me at that time of the night. I know he doesn't sleep well and he starts his days around 4 am most of the time.
I think we will be taking his camper out as soon as some place is open, set up on Wed. before I go to work and then I can come to my house, do what I need to, get Kid and head to 'camp' and then have until Friday late to break camp. Just be away, out of town and kick back, not far away and nothing exciting planned.
It will be good to have the boys and my truck home, I fret.

Life updates

2011-02-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

Jake and Ben are in MO with my truck and might not be back until tomorrow, that guy from McDonald's has been my ride to work and home, he also was part of the help trimming the plum trees this past Friday. And he's Larry, who also likes camping, somewhere close to just get away and be lazy, flea markets and estate auctions, holding hands and cuddling up. We do a lot of laughing and talking, we are comfortable together.
He lives northeast of me, an easy walk most of the time, and has spent months biding his time, getting to know me and for me to get to a place where my life was more together than it was 6 months ago, 8 months ago...
The foot is hurting but I have worn my lower, less support boots for the past 2 shifts and run hard both shifts so I think foot and I have done ok. Foot has to get where we are using the muscles and tendons and ligaments for support instead of depending on high leather boots laced snug.
Nice to have a quiet 'after work', I will take Kid out for bathroom break, call Larry and then go see how long I can soak in the tub, with tea, book, and the phone handy.
And ya, it's nice to be keeping company with a man whose finances are stable, who takes reasonable care of himself and what he owns, who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, and who gets along with my dog.

Tranis and references...

2011-02-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

Jake is on his way home on leave, catches a train in Chicago Monday morning early and I collect him in Springfield around 10:30 am. It will be so great to have him home for a bit, and for him to see that I am doing so much better than when he was home on leave in March.
And 1 of the breakfast at McDonald's gang offered me references and asked if I was in the phone book and what my last name was...his references check out very well...he did find my number in the phone, he's paid enough attention that he knows my work schedule...and we did late lunch out in Jacksonville yesterday and had a comfortable time--I probably talked too much...I hope to continue to get to know him better.
The weather has warmed up so the snow is melting some, most of my place is still huge mounds of dirty white stuff but I hope it goes off slowly as that will reduce the flooding problems for many people.
Busy Saturday, they usually are and the 2nd shift clerk managed to be ticked off at what I did--cleaning up some of the mess he made out of a shipment of labels. They are now tidy and on a cart, checked over and ready to be received once the paperwork is retrieved from the office, he put it through the door slot so I could not get them received today.
Actually, receiving freight on Saturday is part of my job duties, as it's also his, and putting away freight is part of everyone's job duties... The man likes to find reasons to be in a snit, it's a common attitude problem but it's not contagious so I don't plan to catch it, nor do I plan to let poor work habits of others change me.
I'm a little nervous about this prospective dating...not about the man but about just getting involved with anyone. I am glad he's not looking for something that moves fast, has watched me recover from this accident, has had time to watch and think and does want to get to know me better. He's talked with his daughter about it, she's comfortable with the idea of her widowed father dating..and as her husband is 1 of our maint. supervisors I expect her to have him 'check me out' some. I am ok with that too, if it was my dad, ya I would want to ask a bit and do some checking.
My neighbor north of me thinks well of the man, and if asked, will give his honest opinion of me, I mentioned it to him today..and as Steve L has been my neighbor since I moved here to this house, he's seen a side of me that others might not have seen. He is also now 1 of our maint supervisors so he would be who I would go ask if it was my well liked and respected father in law who was getting back into the dating pool. He's been widowed for about 2.5 years now...
Of course right now my world centers around Jake coming home on leave and my job, everyone who knows me or is around me is aware Jake's coming home..

Bad dog, bad dog...

2011-02-06T14:54:00.000-08:00

Kid tore up his bed that lived in his doghouse. The fabric bed was out in the snow, the green stuffing is everywhere--obviously a bored and Bad dog today while I was at work. There will be NO new bed for that kid..at least not for a while...
Work was ok, got done everything I needed to do, some of the inventory counting that is running behind (normal) and had a good day. Foot would not agree but we know foot is whiney and complains a lot.
House is peaceful, just the dog, birds, tv and me. Not much good but am watching Murder she wrote re-runs, thinking I want the house warmer, that there's not much really good to snack on and that it's great to have no other humans in the house when I get home from work.
I did watch a cute, funny movie last night, Smooch, and it was fun, I would have liked it better with no commercials but at least Halmark does movies I can enjoy.
I've been back at work over 4 months now, been picking up the pieces from this accident and what it's done to my life and making some progress. And weekend breakfast is usually at McDonalds, see the same guys there most weekends, they have watched me go from the walker and to the cane and back to work..don't really know them but they are part of that emotional support I have had with this long and hard healing.
There's not any way I can explain how much I hurt after work some shifts, or how hard it gets to just do my job and not sit and bawl.
And I come home to that bad dog,who is beside himself excited to have me home..he knew I was not happy with what he had done, but gee, Mommy's home..look, look Mommy, see how high I can jump, look, look Mommy, I am wagging my tail so fast and hard I'm almost bend double...
It's a good world, got some solid friends, got my feet on solid ground, and I live in my own place, where I'm in charge of my own life. I am able to support myself and my pets, and have a few 'goodies' in life.
And today someone asked if I was in the phone book, not quite the same as asking for my phone number but it gave me a lift.....even if the phone doesn't ring...it's a female thing...

Time to 'clean house'

2011-02-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

The storm has come and gone, it's bitter cold outside but the roads are safe to drive..I am going to get Ben's gal-pal safely to her home in Rushville..he can go too if he wants. He can stay there if he wants--but I will have at least 1 less human in this house before noon..
I might end up being called in so will have to get the humans up and moving soon...and they are not morning people..too bad...she needs to get home and I need fewer humans in this small house before my attitude gets Nasty.
I so want to be living alone, Ben out and just people who visit and for short visits. I have plenty of 'social' at work..and I have friends, and the internet. I don't need humans living here with me.
I also do not need phone calls from creditors looking for other people, but it happens. Does let me know that person has unpaid bills that they are not being responsible for. And I am not responsible for so not my problem. I have plenty of my own problems and responsibilities here.
I do have the heat turned down, lower than I am comfortable with but not willing to heat or feed those adults staying here more than I have to...but I do understand she needed to deal with her car, they were at the store Saturday when car developed problems and it could be the timing belt. Car could not be moved and she needed here to get it to shop. And then the storm came in, so can't blame anyone for the tiny house with too many humans problem. It just happened..but I can get her safely home this am, I can get house a bit more tidy, my x-box back in my room, the son can tidy up what mess/disorder he is responsible for and maybe I will like my day off tomorrow..
It's a small paycheck due to the day off sick last week, and the next 1 will be short unless I am called in today, I only worked 4+ hours yesterday, but at least I did work those hours. I could have stayed longer but the computer there was being 'glitchie' so that made receiving a battle and most of maint had called in so not much demand for parts from supply..time to pack it up, lock the door, turn in the keys and get home...
I need to motivate me and then the humans in the living room...it's almost 9 already and I need to Rushville and back before noon..

I'm Jacob's mother...

2011-01-31T09:27:00.000-08:00

And he gets it from me..that verbal stuff while playing video games..Ben plays quietly, you hear the game but rarely Ben. Jake is all there, loud, involved, vocal..he's that kid of gamer..and now I own an x-box 360 and How to Train your Dragon..and I'm loud, and I am vocal and I might not be very good at the game but you can tell I am playing my silly video game before you get to the front door...ya, I'm Jacob's mother and he got that from me.
Hopefully in a couple weeks he will be here on leave and it will be Jake telling his character how to do it right...and I will find it far more funny now than I did in the past. Now I do know where he gets that from...

bugs and germs at work

2011-01-28T05:02:00.000-08:00

It might have been elsewhere but I am blaming work, I came home Tuesday from work with a sniffle, by 4 am I was getting cold meds out of the cupboard and miserable. Called in Wed. and I have spent the entire time in bed, sleeping for the most part other than bathroom needs and up to consume more juice.
Between my badly congested lungs and aching head this old body was miserable. Today I feel a little more human but lungs are still some congested and head hurts, just not as bad. I might even want some food today...
I have not been sick enough to call in to work for a long time, not counting that accident stuff. But there was no way I could make it to work, I did well to make it out of bed to the toilet or kitchen and back.
Today I have bills that have to be paid, a bank account that needs balanced and hopes to have lunch at Pizza Hut with pal Kim. I need a shower, my bed needs clean sheets and I have work tomorrow and will be rested and ready..so I hope.
At least I feel more human today than I have for more than 48 hours...and I will sanitize all phones, keyboards, mice and such here at home and at work and hope we all don't share this nasty bug I picked up.

Ready to either hibernate or run away

2011-01-23T16:32:00.000-08:00

It's about 21 above, it's snowing again, and I want to either hibernate until spring or run away to somewhere really warm and green. I have hid in the house most of my week of vacation and can't say I have gotten much done, watched some dvds, read some, knit some, worked on learning to play my silly video game, cooked a bit, did some laundry and wanted it to be warmer.
I will be glad to be back at work tomorrow and hope the roads aren't bad by then. Ben has been here over a week and I am really ready to have the house back to just the critters and me again. I admit to being very content all alone. And I am not actually alone, 3 parrots and a rather large dog do not make very alone.
The time off has been good for my foot, but knitting has been hard on my hands, which is why I have not done as much as I had hoped to be doing. I will not worry about how long it takes me to get things knit, it's not how I make my living but what I do for my own pleasure and enjoyment.
I need to bake cookies and pack up a box to ship to Jake and the rest of his pals, it's been too long since I sent the kids a box.
I am glad I have this old house and that the wiring and furnace are both really recent and that I have gotten part of the windows replaced. I hope to end up with enough from the final insurance settlement to put a new roof on the house, with a dormer and also do the needed knee walls and cross ties the attic will need, for support for the roof job and for the conversion from un-used attic to my studio.
Was asked about what happened between me and Mike and did honestly explain about Mike lying about financial matters, including that huge $275,000 mortgage in foreclosure his name was on. The friend was glad I found out about things before I ended up in financial ruin and agrees I did the right thing to back away before I ended up with huge problems in my life that I did not need or deserve. Not easy to step back and away, but know I have to act responsibly and have to insure that I am able to stay self supporting and keep a roof over my head.

That IPAD addiction of mine

2011-01-20T20:18:00.000-08:00

I want an e-reader now, and I want it to be an IPAD but know gen2 is coming out within 3 months and will be huge improvement on the gen 1 IPAD so it's worth waiting for. So, I have to read e-books on my laptop and put $$ into saving to wait for Apple to release the gen 2 toy I want.
It's a good life, I shoveled snow today, not just my snow but Chuck and Alberta's snow too, and that is something I didn't think I would ever be able to do so I have come a long way in the past few months. I know it won't be easy but I will be able to do some things that matter to me. It might seem stupid to others but ya, shoveling the snow for my neighbors does matter to me, it's something I have enjoyed and thought I had lost because of this accident.
Finances will be tight, and I will be struggling for a long time here with paying down debts and with getting this house fixed. But I will be able to do more than I had expected to be able to do. I don't know if I will get back some of what I have lost but the little things do matter to me. I am going to be able to shovel snow and maybe come summer I might be riding that bike of mine.
So, for now I will read my e-books on laptops and be glad I have them, and I will be glad I have a good and good health insurance and I will be glad I have no relationships that are financially draining and that the dog loves my company even when I have scolded him or smacked him for some thing he should not have done.
I will let my little sister chase the love of her life, or whatever, think I can live with my quiet friendship and rare times together out of the plant with a man who has his act together, who is very financially stable, keeps a good job and doesn't lie to me or try to use me.

Vacation---do I HAVE to be off 7 whole days???

2011-01-17T06:51:00.000-08:00

So, it's going to be lousy weather, it's cold, I don't have money to play with, and Jake's leave got moved to next month. By the time he let me know it was (of course) too late for me to have my vacation moved.
But Kid got me up early and I made coffee and scones. This time I used 1 cup of bread (high gluten) flour and 1 cup of whole wheat pastry flour, organic and $$$. It was the only pastry flour I could find at County Market last trip to Springfield and GFS, where I buy my bread flour does NOT carry pastry flour--but could order it for me.
We do like the texture of the scones with the flour mix, but at $6+ for 5 lbs and the cost of gas for trips to Springfield..I sure will ration that pastry flour.
I will clean out my sewing space and do some sewing, and I will work on some paperwork that needs put into better order, shred some through the paper shredder and try to not go screaming insane.
Today there is a meeting with our corp. management at the High School and I did a cheat sheet for some thing..so will eventually shower and go play, gets me a $25 Wal-Mart card just for going and I will learn some about projections for this coming year, and so forth.
I did look on line, with Ben's help for Wii games, and have debated getting a Wii but when informed by my very educated (about game systems, anyway) that Wii will NOT play DVD's I totally lost interest.
We know, honestly, I just am NOT into game playing, I like watching Ben play some games but I don't play them, won't really start playing them and so will instead wait for the next generation IPAD to come out, which will happen in April.
I would use an e-reader, but I want 1 that does more---and then would get give the net book to someone...got a short list for that too. I would use an e-reader, do have some e-books downloaded and read them on the laptop but want more portability..and want the bigger screen, the new Kindle with big screen is great for b/w reading but does NO color, there goes colored graphs for knitting and what good is wi-fi if the only thing I can really do with it is download books??? I can do that at home.
I want a card slot, both for the camara card and for holding books I want to keep. I can create a safe place and label little cards...so that's on the waiting list...
And my Fossil watch that Ben gave me does not keep time accurately, so guess it needs a new battery and that means a trip to someplace that can do that...research on line at fossil website...
Oh, well, guess I better get more coffee and save Ben from those scones....

Anniversary date

2011-01-14T06:41:00.000-08:00

A year ago I got to meet Tamara, my son Ben's new girl friend, and Ben and I went to Rushville to pick her up and then on to Springfield to play on my day off. We didn't make it home that night, because a man named Mark Young had a fight with his wife about his adultery. And then he headed to his 3rd shift job. I am sure he often made that drive from his home in Petersburg IL to Springfield IL where he worked and I have no doubt he knew the road and the normal traffic conditions on those drives.
But he had been involved in what probably was a bitter fight with a wife of many years and his mind was not on his driving, he chose to pass when the conditions were bad, he chose to not try to minimize the impact of the car in the on-coming lane, or he just didn't notice, or care or --well, he's been dead a year now, we won't get a lot more answers than we have now.
And I am finally released from my surgeon who, with his great staff, put a lot of time and work into helping me have as much recovery as I have had in the past year. So, now State Farm can start getting things done for that accident settlement and all those medical bills paid and off my back.
And I won't be out on the roads tonight, or go to Springfield, I was there yesterday and yesterday I also spent some time with the pal Carl, who while I was sitting on the floor with shoes and socks off, so he could see the difference in my feet now, was told there is a very noticeable difference in the length of my legs from that position, ya, I know, at least 1/2 inch. He thinks more. I think I walk funny/different and will live with what can't be changed.
He is 1 of the few people who really 'get' what I am saying when I say this has changed me profoundly, he had that huge life changing event at 26 when he suddenly became a widowed father of a small boy due to a bacterial infection that couldn't be detected in his young wife until it was too late to save her life.
So, ya, those changes that we can't put into words or explain, he's been there and does understand and does know, as I do, that I will be a while figuring out how and what all 'inside' has changed.
There are some pains/hurts that never go away, you just learn to live with them. That's something he said yesterday..his son is grown with children of his own, but that girl and all she meant, the gaping hole her passing left, after over 34+ years, it is still a loss that hurts.
And it's ok if I have some emotional pain and hurt that doesn't go away, that I find ways to live with and go on, it's what we do.
But today, I am alive, I am back to work and off work today, my normal schedule, and there's a paycheck in the bank , some errands here in town to run, some bills to get paid, it's still cold out but the most of the streets are bare now, the roads are good, we still have snow covering the ground but it is winter.
And tomorrow we work, which means I will see Carl at work, trips to the coffee maker in the boiler room, the razing of the crew about our personal relationship, which is our business and not theirs...and my talk will be about the doctor appointment and the dog, and that Jake's leave won't be until mid-Feb. Silly nosy guys in red bump caps, they don't need to know what is or isn't going on in my personal life, or Carl's but they will still bug us...

Getting ready for Tax time..

2011-01-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

It looks like my best tax return is by filing an itemized/long form so that means waiting for the bank to send me the statement on my mortgage interest. But I did file a small hill of paperwork that needed filed and started getting my tax stuff ready and will enter what I can into my tax program.
And part of that filing was bank statements for the past year, ya, I am way behind--so that meant coming across the bank statement from Feb. and March and seeing again how much I spent when out west. Ouch, I sure went through a huge amount of my disability income in a few short days...it's done, it's over. And I learned something I needed to know...and am moving on.
It's snowing and Kid and I went out to clean the snow from the porch and sidewalk, we will do my truck later, it's still snowing, very fine stuff that takes a long time to amount to much but it's been snowing since before I got off work last night.
Kid got worries about noises he was hearing outside early this morning and had to go check, someone with a pickup and blade was clearing the parking lot at the news paper office. Idiot dog bolted across the street, checked out what was going on, sniff, sniff, and then bolted back--he doesn't even look for cars..he just does not understand that he could very easily be squished Dog under car tires fast...I so need a fenced yard, and might get in touch with the guy at work that has the electric fence ad up on the board and see if it's still available...
Have my vacation coming, and didn't find out when Jake's leave is scheduled in time to get my vacation changed so will be off and do a few things here and clean house, read, knit and so forth. I hope to see the power cord for Jake's laptop come soon. It seems to be somewhere between the seller and here but I can't see it moving since getting to an inspection/mailing place in China...
am hoping it just has not been updated and that it's really not spending a week or 2 in a inspection/sorting location. Seller gave me a 10-14 day ship time...but it will get here when it gets here.
Well, got to go play with the tax program...fun, fun...hey I actually like most of that accounting stuff....

Cold winter, hard work shifts

2011-01-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

It's winter in central IL and cold, even the sunshine is cold, but it could be worse. It was a busy day with a lot of walking from the back dock to the gate and back. Escorting a 'mud buggy' hauling concrete from a truck packed at the end of our ramp to the halls. I have no idea where the concrete was going but it sure was not our normal weekend 'patch work' going on. And maint had me running when I wasn't escorting the contractor and his mud buggy.
Heat is turned up to 72, I turn it down to 69 at night or when I'm gone, still feels cool and I have yet to give up my work sweater. Kid is being an attention demanding brat this afternoon. He spent most of the night getting sick and tossing his cookies so neither of us slept well. Now he is bored and wants me to sit on the futon so he can try to crawl onto my lap.
My doll sweater knitting is going very slow, I haven't worked on it for several days but do have the ribbing done on my purple sweater and have started the body pattern. Jake has 2 socks going now, starting the heel increases on 1 and the other has a good start. My socks are just past the toes but will be a long time in getting done, they aren't high on my priority list right now.
I hope Cargill has our W-2 available early on line, I had my taxes filed by 1/14/2010 last year. That turned out to be a very good thing as I needed that tax refund to live on after the accident until State Farm agreed to pay my lost wages while I was off work.
This year my income is less than 1/2 of what I earned last year, but I was off work 8 months and 17 days. It's been a very long, hard year for me. I know the next few years will be financially tight but I hope to see debts paid down and some paid off, the house get the needed work done as I can afford it and to make some progress with some of my landscaping projects here.
I think of some of the dreams that died this past year, and of the days and weeks hurting and not knowing if I would be able to return to work.
I'm a harder, tougher, stronger person now, I am not as patient or as kind, or giving as I was. But I don't feel some of that is negative changes, I have a lot of personal responsibility on my shoulders, there is no one helping me with my financial responsibilities or repairing my house.
So, being harder and tougher will keep me earning the living and and getting done what needs done here. And it will keep me from letting anyone take advantage of me, use me, scam me and that is important.

And on the first day of the new year

2011-01-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

I got up early for a woman who didn't go to sleep until after 2 am, and got the dishes done, corn bread made, stirred the soup in the slow cooker, it went in after I got in from work.
Otto, my good neighbor and friend came to have lunch with me and talk, we don't see each other often now that it's cold and I am working. I won't go over there if I am not feeling well, he's older and living alone, doesn't need to get sick So, it was good that I am over my cold and weather today is cold but sunny. Kid was glad to see Otto, he goes there to visit often, and chase the cats.
I'm making good progress on the doll sweater I have going, very fine lace weight alpaca yarn on 1.5 mm needles means it takes 16-18 rows to make an inch. I am so glad it does not take many inches to have the body of the sweater long enough to divide for fronts and back and made the under arm.
I love the colors of the yarn and it's by the same company that makes the yarn I used for my blue gansey so maybe they do this or similar dye in their sock yarn. I could see me wearing a work sweater from these colors.
Otto is 1 of the people I can talk openly with about the pain I have and about the emotional pain and mess this accident has made of my life, and might always make of my life. The guy that brings me coffee in Viagra cups also understands some of how this has changed me and my life.
But today is a good day, foot might not be cheering happy but I am walking without the cane, didn't even need it at the start of my day.
The book I am waiting for didn't come, the power cord for Jake's laptop is in shipping, so that means I can make goodies to pack in a Jake box and take into work tomorrow, I start at 5 am so will be starting the coffee there. If the book came I would be nose buried in the book, if the power cord was here I would be dealing with Jake's computer and hoping that it will operate and be usable.
No book, but have dvds yet to watch, knitting to play with, sweater started for me in purple, socks in blue for me, socks in left over blue gansey yarn for Jake and this green/teal/gold/brown I am knitting the doll sweater out of.
Kid has a huge bone to enjoy, he earned it by being my devoted companion, my source of laughter, my warmth when I'm cold, puts up with me on my worst days...it's a dog's job but he does it well.

End of the year and schedules

2010-12-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

I will be so glad when 2010 ends and the new year gets started. This has been the most painful, most stressful, most emotionally devastating year I have lived through and yes, I will be glad to see it end.
I swapped work days with the other 2nd shift clerk so he could have New Year's Eve off to play and will have Monday off, thought that would give me and that guy both Monday off, gee, normally he would be off Monday, works this weekend, but he's working as someone else needs Monday off, it's a small # of people that do that job, they, just like supply, work each others hours when needed.
So much for some quality time, rats, oh well, it's coffee at work again.
I think we need to exchange written work schedules so we can manage some Out of Plant time. And we both need to accept we cannot control or change the 'helpers' we have at work. We don't stick our noses into their personal lives but they do think they need to 'help' us, suggest, you name it. I figured it out a long time ago, I don't control other people, what they do, what they say and I sure can't stop them so I tune them out for the most part. They aren't paying my bills and are not living my life.
My accident, and it's effect on me, my body, my pain issues has really changed my world. And it has changed what I will or will not accept into my off work time. I have far too much on my shoulders to take on some 'needy' person. And, yes, I do get to decide what that defines, not the other person. It is my life, I almost lost it, I've had it changed drastically by the action of people I do not, did not know.
That's the reality, Mark Young and his wife had marriage problems, and a bitter argument on Jan. 14, 2010. So, he left for work, driving her car, in a very stressed state of mind, for a 3rd shift job. My day off and I had chosen to take Ben and Tamara to Springfield and we were returning home when Mark Young, still in an obvious upset, not paying close attention to his driving, state of mind, chose to pass 2 cars at high speed when traffic conditions made that an extremely unsafe, unwise decision. He hit my truck head on, going at high speed and he's dead.
My life is forever changed, I can't change it back and it was not my choice or my decision or my fault.
Tough luck, life goes that way, learn to live with what I have for a real life now. And after almost 3 months back at work, no, it won't get a lot better for me and my foot. I will limp, I will have pain, always, sometimes minor, sometimes moderate, sometimes pain that has me wanting to curl up some where and cry. But I am able to work and earn a living, keep my health insurance and slowly fix my financial mess and my old house.
But there's no space for fixing other people's problems or carrying their weight in life. There's not place for anyone with their own life a mess that could or would become problems or stress in mine. Not even as pals or friends. Yes, I will talk with people, yes I am still on 'good terms' with some but I don't have time for them, they want me to do something, it has to be on my time, my place, my terms.
No, don't ask me to go out of my way to do something for you, not load that bike and haul it to the buyer's house. It's a huge job for me to get the bike out of my own house and load it in my truck. Think about it, and decide you can do something different, even offering to come and load the bike in the truck would have gone over far better.
No, don't tell me your problems and battles with the place we both work and want me to take your side, keep me out of it, it's not my battle and I do not want or need involved. I don't drag anyone into my issues and problems, they are mine and I will deal with them.
And yes, I will make time for that guy I have coffee with, who is not trying to add to the weight on my shoulders, who does understand the mess I feel my life is in, that I do not have a lot left for a relationship with him but we can both work with what we both have to offer/want and ignore the 'helpers' at plant.
I will not do lunch out with DH, we are not dating, and his giving people at work, who gossip and gossip with maintenance crew, the impression that we are romantically involved has gotten him on my list of people I have little association with. It's made it into the boiler room, that damn talk and the boiler man and I talked about it, he knew I had dated DH ages past, gee, I dated that boiler man in the past..so, crew, we do know each other, quit helping~~~
But I don't need it being suggested that I have several 'playmates' or that I am playing head games with the boiler man or am just fishing for any man I can catch.
And I will get through the next month, the hopefully last appointment with my foot specialists and hopefully State Farm and I will within the first quarter of 2011 get the insurance settlement done, the medical bills off my back and I will start feeling a little less stress and pressure on me.
I have my tax software already installed and have started putting in my information so I can file very early and will hopefully be able to get rid of some of the debt load with the tax return.
I am slowly gaining but this week's mail brought more medical bills from the accident. I don't know what or how but will make sure State Farm looks into them closely as I don't see part of my settlement going to billing errors and with medical bills, there are a lot of 'billing errors' that insurance companies end up paying for services and stuff that was never done.
Long year, a lot of hard battles and hard emotional issues and it's not over yet. But I am getting there, and some things are behind me, so in ways, I am moving on and know it will work out.
At least I don't have someone else drilling holes in the boat while telling me they are going to build me a nice big shining new boat...
And that guy I have coffee with--called this morning and I definitely let him know it's on my game plan to get him pealed out of his clothes the first opportunity we both have for that, and he laughed and agreed we need to work on schedules. It's going to be a good 2011, even if he's working Monday and that sinks that pealing project we both hoped we would get to.

Hurting a lot. . . .

2010-12-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

But I worked my 8 hours, got some 'housekeeping' done, was a quiet shift, and appreciated that. Ben's out and about, didn't show up and bring Kid in. It's cold but warmed enough the parking lot at work is mostly clear, they did plow but a lot was that solar power, black paving and sun melts snow and thin ice fast.
Julie's socks are done and I have started sleeves to a doll sweater in lace yarn on 1.5 mm needles. I can tell the sweater will grow slowly, I think it took almost 2 hours to knit the cuffs to the sleeves.
It's good to be home with Kid, tv and books, my knitting and no one to put demands on me or expect me to cook, clean or cater to them. Hart and I talked a few minutes about that dating stuff and hurting, I just don't have much time to give and when I hurt, I do not need or want to deal with anyone. The birds and dog are plenty of work and company for me most of the time. My pals on maint. have a good idea of how hard my work shifts get and how bad I hurt some times. They are glad I am back at work and many do what they can to make my work shifts easier, less walking, carry the parts for me, little things.
Tylonal helps some but some pain is just going to be a normal part of my life, every day. I am alive, I am working, I am slowly picking up the pieces of my life. A few more days and I will be into 2011 and hope to have a better year.
Finances are snug but the tax return will help, and every month I gain a bit on the medical bills. And sometime in the next couple months I should see the accident settlement done and have those medical bills off my back. I feel like I have a lot of 'monkeys' on my back at times.
A long and hard year but it's almost done. And I am going to get through the next couple months and spring will be coming soon or so I tell myself.

Snow, cold and quiet days...

2010-12-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

It's snowed, and not only is it cold outside but I have the curent cold bug going around the plant. I did run errends with Ben Thursday and have been home and inside since. Did bake bread yesterday and made a pot of chili for meals here. Ben's been in and out, Kid's enjoyed having Ben around to play with too, Kid loves loads of people attention. I'm planning a hot bath and then into bed, will set the alarm for sometime before 4 am, it should be an easy day for me in plant, last Sunday of the month usually is. Not sure how many hours I will be putting in, but it will be ok, I like Sunday's in plant, maint, sometimes contractors and quiet so I can get cleaning done and I can get caugth up on some other 'housekeeping' type chores there.
Jake called and said it seemed strange to have warm weather for Christmas, the rain had stopped but thought it might be coming back, enjoying a couple days liberty and his feet were cosy in his newest pair of Mom made socks.

Ba Hum Bug

2010-12-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

1 more work shift and then off for 3 days, some errands to run, some baking to do and a lot of quiet down time for me. My body needs the down time but the hours go faster often when I am working and there's no time for me to brood or be sad.
I miss Ben being around but am glad it's just the brids, Kid and me. I struggle to take care of me and my dog, my parrots, there's no way I need or want to take care of anyone else or deal with their problems.
And that hurting so much and not pushing myself hard here at home is part of that being very glad I am not involved with anyone who puts demands on me of any kind. Between the physical pain and the emotional hurting I am still having there's just not much quality 'Maggie' to share with anyone.
The trust stuff is at the lowest point I have probably ever been but I am quite fine with that for now, no one is pushing me to trust them either, at this time. It's almost 1 am and I need to be in bed and asleep, we have a storm coming in and I hope most of the world stays away and just lets me have peace and quiet. I don't enjoy all the commercial push and media brain washinig this time of year.

Some things can't be explained. . .

2010-12-19T17:22:00.000-08:00

Or maybe I just won't explain..at least not to red hats and blue hats... It was just a cup of coffee, and trading my cup for 1 out of the boiler room...I'm not explaining any comments made by the delivery service, or why my face got so red...but needless to say, I will be a long time dealing with the entertainment the guys are having.
And I am eating my Sunday lunch in the boiler room every Sunday until the cafeteria renovations are done, as most of the work is being done after 10 pm on week days and all day Sundays. I'm not battling the constructions or the contractors that are doing the work. Some red hatted idiots want to make something about it, go ahead. I might get a bit red faced but I can live with that, they need entertainment I guess.
And that new work sweater has gone to work and it's great, comes off easily over my bump cap, is comfortable to wear and came out of the washer and dryer looking good. It's on the wooly board to finish drying and I will do photos.
Yesterday's pork tenderloin in the crock pot was today's lunch, along with the herbed potatoes and tonight some of that meat went into the rice cooker with some jasmine rice. I like sticky rice or asian rice varieties better than I do long grained rice. It's a bit more expensive but it's my budget.
And I got my cap knit, think I need to turn some more left over sweater yarn into caps. But Julie's socks get finished first. Jake's socks are on their way to him, and he's back at base, we talked and laughed last night.
He does think there was brain damage from the accident, that explains why I now have a big dog that needs a lot of exercise. And that big dog and I played tug with his rope toy while I talked to Jake. Ya, must be that accident that explains the dog, will use that excuse for him being spoilt also.
Oh, that delivered coffee, the cup belongs to 1 of the maint guys that doesn't work Sundays and it's brightly colored and reads Viagra in big print..the supervisor who was down in supply will have fun with that, he thinks well of me, and of the 'delivery boy' who brought the coffee.
My house sits on a very busy street corner, my neighbor south is in maint at the plant on 3rd shift and thinks well of me, gossips, my neighbor on my north also thinks well of me, doesn't gossip that I know of but is also now maint. supervisor in our plant. From their house you can easily see if anyone is parked in my back parking area with my truck, or if my truck is gone...no one is here visiting, I am not gone much except to work so hopefully the gossips won't create a lot of talk..oh, heck, there will be speculation no end..we are 2 single people who know each other outside of work....so, now the talk will start up again...and I will get teased. And nothing is going on..our schedules don't match, we live too far apart, it's too cold to go out much, I can't be gone overnight, I have Kid to think about. . . . .
But he's watched me start that blue sweater that was cut off me in that accident, and now he's the guy who's impressed with the work in the replacement and who understands right now my life seems to have no solid ground, no patterns, no routine and balance and I'm not able to give much or put much into more than I have going now.
And he knew bringing the coffee would create attention and talk, but he brought me a fresh cup of coffee anyway. And made me laugh, I got the joke, why that was the cup he 'borrowed' instead of any of the others sitting on the fridge in the boile rroom office. We'll see what the next couple months bring, hopefully I will soon get that last doctor's appointment done, and the insurance settlement done. It won't be long before it's tax time, and Jake's leave, get through the anniversary of that accident, and moving on with rebuilding my life. Maybe there will be time for more than coffee, outside the plant, without all the audience....

Day off work. .. .

2010-12-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

So, I'm off work today and it's cold and gray outside. I am making good progress on the blue sweater, 1 more pattern repeat and then knit 3 inches of ribbed cuff on the last sleeve, work in the ends and it's ready for a bath and to be dried and blocked.
And I have 2 balls of lace weight yarn waiting to knit a couple doll sweaters. I need to deal with the damaged electrical outlet in the kitchen and I will get it dealt with today and then see if the microwave is dead or will work.
I need to deal with the christmas cards and have some bills to put in order, insurance paperwork to get in order and mailed. The dishes need washed, laundry need dealt with, floors need swept and hopefully I will get something done today.
Kid wants to play and the house is a bit small for his romping and being wild dog. I might bundle up and take him for a walk, but it depends on what I get done and how the weather goes today.
I'm still working on getting through this year, I know there are many people in this world who have had far worse years, Haiti has not been a good place to live this past year, I am far better off than people living there.
And my sister Lucy hasn't had the best year either, it's not the same sort of year I have had but it's been hard and challenging for her too.
I might be many years working out all the kinks and the problems this year has brought and my right foot/leg will never get it all worked out. But I will work through this challenge and I will survive. I will never be the same woman I was before the accident, I am not able to explain all the ways it's changed me but there are changes that I have to learn to live with and that I have to adapt to in some ways.
Had to deal with some dishonesty and deception in someone I had for years envisioned as being different than he really was. I did not know him well when we were young and the lives we have lead have contributed greatly into the people we have become. I am certainly not the person he thought I was, and I expect I also 'let him down' in who I have become.
All the years I have lived, the choices I have made, good and bad, are what has made me into the person I am now. And I am a WORTHWHILE person, a strong and capable person who pays their bills on time, who works their job to the best of their abilities and who has picked up the pieces of life more than once and will do it this time also.
Jake posted on my wall so now I have an address to send a box, looks like an address for a wife of someone in his platoon. I will have to finish up his socks and get a box together with his current mail and maybe some cookies or some goodie. I've missed being able to send Jake and his pals boxes.
Well, the mail jeep has come and gone so I need to go check the mail and get back to that blue work gansey. It will be great to have it done and be able to wear it to work.

cold winds and hard work shifts

2010-12-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

That midwest storm is blowing through here, we've had some rain but so far no snow or ice. But it's cold bitter winds outside and both Kid and I are glad for a warm house and a job that give me a paycheck to pay that utility bill, buy our food and even allow us tv and goodies.
It wasn't really cold today in the storeroom and warehouse but I was really busy and pushed myself hard and fast. My damaged foot does NOT appreciate my trying to walk fast, so I came home with a lot of pain and am keeping my cane handy as I need it a lot. Hopefully tomorrow I won't push myself quite as hard, I can't work on receiving on Sundays so that should help soon.
I know there is stuff we need, parts that maint. might need tomorrow so tried to get as much of the waiting freight checked in and put away but I dont' think I made a very big dent.
The blue sweater is looking good, the 2nd sleeve is now past the purl rib that separates the upper patterns from the lower and I have worked over 2 sets of the lower pattern and once both sleeves are the same length I will try it on again and decide how much longer the sleeves need to be before I do the cuffs.
I want to start the purple sweater soon and I also have yarn coming for several doll sweaters, and have a skein of yarn I bought Thursday for doll sweaters. I think spending the winter tucked in and knitting, reading, watching movies is a great idea. I have to go to work, and do some shopping, some bill paying but think other than the 'have to' I will hibernate this winter.
Know my life is going ok, am content and like my life, do a lot of laughing, Kid is funny, he's gotten so big, I had to loosen his collar again but he still thinks he should be allowed to crawl onto my lap. He's not big enough to put a saddle on yet but it's a thought if he doesn't quit growing.
A couple of the guys in maint have me laughing too, it's a joke that we 'get' but not everyone would. They are part of my weekend crew, part of the boiler room coffee club and I'm glad to have them as part of my work world.
I need to get busy with writing my annual christmas letter, should have done it on my days off, might work on it tomorrow after work.
Kid says it's time to go out for him, think it's soon going to be bedtime, we are up early here on Sunday mornings

Gansey Progess

2010-12-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

I know it's a ways from done but the sun was shining in the south window so I decided the light was good for photos. I am pleased with the fit of the sweater, have fretted a bit about the fit of the sleeves but it's working well. I will work the ends in today and maybe even pick up the 2nd sleeve. I have the first sleeve almost to the point of changing it to the lower body pattern.
And I am thinking 1 in a greenish color might also make a 'dirt hiding, work sweater color' but right now I don't have the funds for yarns.
I do have all 7 seasons of star trek voyager now to watch while I knit, and am enjoying seeing the progress. It's not fast but I am pleased.
It should be a real busy shift tonight and then I have 2 days off, a GYN appointment in Springfield tomorrow morning that I forgot about but Julie might go with me and I have the knitting, might come home by way of Jackonville and show off the sweater at the shop where I bought the yarn.
Now it's time to get busy with that knitting...

Monday

2010-12-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

It's December's first Monday, it's about 18 degrees outside, blue skies, some clouds, some wind, and my Star Trek Voyager DVD set should be here today. But I have work this afternoon..rats, rats...

Sat and did the bill paying thing I did not do this past Friday because I was at Cargill working for double time. Now I still need to do the math and balance the checkbook and decide what else needs done.

Jake called yesterday, about 4 hours out of Hawaii and let me know his leave was on hold, hoped I did not already buy his plane tickets, no, had been waiting for a 2nd call to make sure about dates and times. He thinks maybe in Feb or March, it's the military, in the Marines stuff, Mom knows, wants a workable mailing address, please.

Celtic Women are going to be in Peoria 4/28 and tickets go on pre-sale this week, and I think I will buy 1 and go. Had such a great time when I went before, love their music so think I will do it again.

I bought a doll knitting pattern for a cabled, hooded sweater and then ordered some lace weight yarn to knit with, 3 skeins so that gives me enough for some fun play. I won't work with it until my work gansey is done, I know me, I would get busy with playing with doll knitting and then not have my much wanted work sweater and it's going to be time to be wearing it at work.

Greg took the hose down to the maint shop and repaired it for me, now it doesn't leak and has a new swivel and is such an improvement, and Chris cleaned the drains that run through the storeroom floors so now when I do hose and clean our floors, the water drains away much faster and so doing floors every Sunday is a much easier job.

I love our maint guys, or something like that. Most are great to deal with, treat me with patience and good attitudes and rarely make my work shift more difficult. I hope our new dept head does understand the stock needs for some of the stuff we seem to be out of so often. It makes their jobs harder when we don't have some of the parts they need, over and over. Stop buttons are hard plastic, screw on and off and break, there are these all over the plant, think about every piece of equipment has 1, so we have an empty bin most of the time, get them in 1 at a time or maybe as many as 3.

And caulk, we are out of caulk most of the time, maint should not have to send someone to the local hardware store for caulk or a simple 110 outlet, you name it..

But life's pretty good in my world here. Not perfect but there is food in the house, the bills keep being paid on time, the job is going ok, the co-workers are being as human as they can be, LOL, and Kid loves me, even if I am in the kitchen with the laptop and he can't get close enough to be happy.

The work gansey is growing well, I can now try it on and like the fit, working the first sleeve and have to knit 3+ inches before I can tell if I picked up enough stitches or if I have to rip back and start again. But so far, I think it's enough...going to love that sweater, going to brag on that sweater and the crew at work know it.

Reasons to laugh

2010-11-30T23:19:00.000-08:00

Kid makes me laugh, playing tug of war with his rope toy, watching him slide on the wood floor, just Kid being Kid and all legs and tail, the dog makes me laugh.
Wearing my own hand knit sweaters, oh, ya, it's now cold enough to appreciate those sweaters and it's a real ego lift, my creativity, my work, part of them my own design, all of them made for just me. Walking into work or walking out, I might hurt and limp but hey, I can design and knit and proudly wear my work.
Tonight I got an offer to buy 1 of my dolls, the most recent one, who I got at a real steal on e-bay. I would not have bid if I could not afford to pay for what I was bidding on, or if I did not want what I was bidding on. Oh, I admit I only bid the opening amount, that was all the budget would allow....but wording of the e-bay ad, timing, length of time the bid was open(really short) and 1 bid got the dolls, #19/25, signed by the artist.
So, my posting a the doll group might have seemed like I did not want the doll, but it's me being me. She came from CA, to rain and cold, dressed in summery outfit, into winter. So, I don't think the new kid likes it here, but I have no doubts she will adjust, get to feel it's home and she's part of the family--probably about the time I have time to sew and she has something to wear that looks a bit more suitable to winter in central IL, in a house where the heat gets turned down when I leave for work, when I go to bed..gee, between work and sleep, that makes the temps here a bit chilly for a 'child' in a light weight, sleeveless, dressed up dress.
So, a polite thank you but No the doll is not for sale, she will adjust to her new home, she will get to know her new 'family' and settle in.
I have a great life, admit to missing the really brain working conversations and debates and talks Sam and I had, years of life with a man with sharp brains who used them, I will always miss that. And I miss the tight friendship and 'together' Mick and I had, 5 years that were almost all quality, priceless time. I have a 'yardstick' I measure men I date by, from my granddad to Sam and Mick.
Now I have that figured out, not much interest in dating men who won't measure up to the standards/yardsitck someone else put there. No reason to accept less, it just doesn't work, and until I either no longer expect more than the men I know now, or until I meet someone who doesn't need to be measured and found lacking, not dating works really well.
It feels good to come home, knowing Kid is waiting, the birds are glad to have me home, I can unwind my way, according to my mood and wants. I can talk to the dolls like they are alive, I can work on my knitting or not.
It took a long time to get the peace and balance I now have inside me, it got really shook with the car accident and the long recovery. A man from the past not being who I thought he was, and not being the man he said he was also rocked that some. But I've got that 'solid' back.
There's a lot that still needs worked on, finances, the paperwork and settlement from the accident, all the little life details, but the core me, it's back on solid ground once again and I'm finding my direction and what really matters.
And I come home from work and Kid makes me laugh with joy.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

The bread dough is rising slowly, it's wet, it's cold, but it's a good day, and going to stay a good day off work. I should be off tomorrow also but it looks like I might be working next Thursday and Friday.
I made a major Dumb error on my blue gansey and had to rip back close to 3 inches of progress, like a week or more of work on it because I forgot to put the underarm gusset stitches on holders for later. No wonder it looked so wide. But I will gain some progress today and tomorrow, need to figure how long I need that chest area before starting the neck shaping and I have to measure the width of the center cable as that will also be the shoulder strap.
I want this sweater to fit closer than my heavier sweaters, it's a lot lighter weight yarn so I will be wearing it a lot more inside, over a thin t-shirt or light weight turtleneck type or less. I am liking how it's working out, and hope the size is what I have worked out on paper.
Kid and I are still enjoying the house to ourselves, and less mess and noise.
My foot and I are doing better than I expected and I am working on that 'gait' stuff which is helping me have less pain in my left hip joint. The work shifts still get long and hard some nights, but I don't remember when I took something for pain. I do remember taking cold meds last week but am not sure I hurt enough with my foot, hip joint or any other parts to need something for pain.
I'm also not waking up hurting and have mornings I can get around the house without the cane at the start of my day. I judge my quality of life by how much I need to take something for pain and now, by how much I need that cane to get around. There are mornings my first walk outside around the house with Kid are with the cane but I did not need it this morning.
It looks like a wet and gray day, followed by another wet and gray day. I'm ok with that as I did not have plans for much out of the house stuff.
I'm going to let everyone else do the wild and crazy shopping and instead stay home, enjoy my knitting, dog, birds, house, projects to play with and really like my quiet life.
Having decided I really pick the worst choices in men to have relationships with I am really content with no significant other, no lover, no dating and just appreciating the fact I didn't make worse financial decisions than the ones I made with the last dating/in love.
And I am looking at income tax time and getting my software downloaded and start working on my tax return. this year I should see more of my paid in taxes back, LOL, I am low income for this year.
I am so hoping 2011 is a far better year for me than 2010 has turned out to be. It did have a good start but sure changed with that accident and all that brought into my life. I am dealing with it, I am fixing what I can, accepting what I can not change and finding my way around the rocks in my road.
Emotionally I am a stronger person, and in some ways, a harder person, physically, I will always have some challenges now that were not a part of my life a year ago.
And we still do not know who will get the purchasing manager job but did learn last night at least 1 of my co-workers applied for the opening and I can't imagine a bigger disaster than any of the supply clerks having that job, none of us have the qualities and abilities the job really needs.
And talk is day clerk will retire after our current purchasing manager retires, I will bid that opening but expect it to go to 1 of our 3rd shift clerks, she mentioned to someone she wanted to be on days and with her husband now home, he's had heart surgery this past summer and apparently will not be coming back to his job with our food service. He might be going back to teaching which is days.
Regardless, I do have a job with livable paycheck, good benefits and that I do like working. I don't expect my world to make any huge changes anytime soon and I can sure appreciate some stability for a while, a very long while.

Paying the bills, getting Monday started

2010-11-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

I put off sitting down and writing checks until today, payments on the medical bills from the accident. It will be a while before the insurance settlement, wish I had known that and a lot more many months ago. I would have made payments on those bills and had them paid off.
But I will manage to keep everything paid, keep Kid and I fed and hopefully keep the dog in chew toys so he leaves my shoes alone.
It's way too warm for this time of year, 69 degrees right now and it's confusing my plants that should be dormant and resting now. And we have possibility of rain off and on all week.
But at least I am getting closer to this year being over. It's not been a really good year and it's been a very expensive year and an emotionally taxing one also.
Some regrets but since I can't change the past, not recent and not long ago, I will look forward and go on with my life.
Jake is in Cebu Philippines right now, I don't know if his dad made the effort to get to Cebu to see our boy but it's not because Jake has not made the effort or because I didn't let Sam know what time and where Jake and the ship would be.
That's another touchy place in my heart, Jake and Sam and Sam's move, marriage, things beyond explaining had me crying on my days off. And I know I hurt Jake some when I told him that if his dad did not come to Cebu to see him, it's because Jake was not high enough on his dad's priority list. And he and I would both have to accept that and live with what we could not change.
Sam's choices have hurt both Jake and Ben so much and have hurt me too, hurt my boys, hurt me. We will get through this, and Jake is working on building his own life. I just hope his dad does not ask him for money. Jake has given his dad enough over the years, sweat equity, money, dedication, you name it, Jake paid over and over. It's time Jake quit paying for our failed marriage, Sam's remarriage and what that did.
And it's long past time I quit letting Sam guilt trip me. I wasn't the only 1 who failed our marriage, nor was I the 1 not willing to get some help to deal with our relocation and the depression problems Sam was having.
So, now I work on getting done what I need done, on my small little life and it's details, on the dishes done, work shifts put in, house work done, time with Kid done. All the small stuff that is my life here.
And it's a good life that I do really like and appreciate. And a small step at a time, I am getting it back into working, livable order. I am pulling my finances out of the pit they fell into with this accident and with some poor choices in what I did with the lost wages pay I did receive.
Brainless choices, and now I will make smarter choices, not only with money but also with who I spend time with, who I let be a part of my life.
Need a shower and work clothes, drop off the medical bills at the post office, stop at Dollar General for AA batteries and Kid chews, home to get ready for work, Mondays are always busy at plant, lots for me to get done.

That dating game

2010-11-17T22:25:00.000-08:00

I'm single, so are 2 of my gal pals, several of my sisters, people I know at work. Me, I'm not dating anyone, no relationship, no 'friends with bed benefits' and at this time of my life, with all that is going on and my work schedule, free time, you name it, I don't have time to play 'date' and all that stuff.
1 of my co-workers in supply plays the dating game, this guy is wonderful for a while, all men are no good for a while (very short while) and back to this guy's really great...
1 of my sisters, after 25+ years of marriage is now divorced and dating, looking for her perfect soul mate, her 'forever' love. I am not sure how many 'glass slippers' she has tried on in the past year but plenty. It seems like the shoe will fit, oh, it doesn't fit just right, and on to the next 'prince' or frog.
Maybe I am just burned out, maybe it's menopause, the accident, my old age. It's a lot more fun for me to sit on the sidelines and watch or hear about that dating stuff than it is to try and make time to do much dating or even fit time to get to know someone. I know a lot of guys, like many of them at work--ya, that's where I like them, at work. So, as long as I know them at work and don't know them outside work I like them. And I see them when they come to supply for parts or supplies. And I don't want to know them outside the plant.
It's not that I don't think there are some really great men out there that are single and of an age that I would date, it's that I don't want to be involved, I don't want to share my space or my time. I don't need some one to keep me company, I don't often get lonely. I don't need entertained or supported or taken care of.
The last man who wanted to take care of me did not take care of his own self and his responsibilities in a way that worked for my outlook and values. That learning and getting to know him better cost me some of that money stuff and some of that time stuff but at least I don't have any 'what ifs' left where he's concerned. Our ways are different, our paths in life are different.
But I am going to be entertained by the dating game, do hope my sister doesn't get too hurt or her head and life messed up with her looking for mr perfect. But I will get entertained too.

It's not the zoo but. . .

2010-11-14T17:04:00.000-08:00

some days the place I work seems a bit crazy. Somewhere up the ladder there were budget cuts and we don't stock more than 1 of many items, so once that valve is issued out we might be 2 weeks before it's replacement shows up in our incoming freight. I'm not sure how it saves money for maintenance to run to the local hardware store for valves and plumbing fittings we should have in stock. But I am just a supply clerk, not the purchasing manager, and with our current manager retiring this December I have no idea who will have the job or what changes there will be.
And Anthony got another 3 day suspension, this is the second in less than a month. He wants fired so he can draw unemployment and work on some cars he has bought. He dreams of his own business and I wish he would go chase that dream and not make the work situation in supply harder on the rest of us.
He will be back by mid week, so I can count on tomorrow and Tuesday as good work days and Wed as interesting at the best, and rough and annoying at worst. But he's working at getting fired and when it happens and his job slot goes up to bid, I will bid for that slot and be on 2nd shift from Tuesday to Saturday. Not a big change but think it's the thing to do, if and when the opening comes up on the bidding board.
and now it's time to knit and watch a movie with Kid, we have Muppets in Space on and I've not seen it so it's way past time.

another Friday and doctors report

2010-11-12T19:57:00.000-08:00

Today Julie went with me and we did breakfast first at Denny's and then my 8:30 doctor appointment. Foot and I are doing good, I am to get an addition applied to the soles of the right shoes/work boots to see if that helps the pain in the left hip joint I am having, especially the longer I have been on my feet. And I see him again in 2 months.
We did some errands, I shopped for heater for friend James, his old house has a wall panel heater that is no longer legal or safe. I found the electric baseboard type I have and won't sell or give up but know that won't work long term and also looked at some ventless gas heaters that are wall mounted. He probably will need to do some updating with his gas line but I think the electric heater is good for supplementing but the best choice is something gas that will provide enough heat and at an affordable price. He's new to this old house owning and repairing but got the duplex he was renting at a very great price so he and nephew are learning how to do what they can. Each has 1/2 of the house so they each have their own place but sure share all the problems of a neglected rental.
And Julie loves her socks, I finally have them started and far enough knit that you can tell how the yarn is working up for color patterns.
So, it was a good day, now the birds, dog and I have the house, Ben is out and gone and his back pack is gone so I expect he will be back several days from now, the laundry is washed and the first load is still drying, I will soon be in bed and up early for day shift tomorrow.
I need to find the sweater pattern for my gansey and start work on designing the chest patterns. It won't be long before I start that, it's almost long enough to start my underarm gussets. But that is still a long way from a finished and wearable sweater.

Patience will pay off, LOL

2010-11-07T14:44:00.000-08:00

Had a good day playing in Springfield Friday, did pick up a 32" fat screen t.v. for my bedroom and a very tiny Ipod shuffle for work, it's tiny enough to tuck into my bra and have the earbud cords run up and clip handy. It's for work on those days it's slow and I'm in and out of the storeroom area. At $39 and 2 gb it will work great, there is 1 button on the tiny thing and a control on the earbud wire. Enough battery for a work shift, so it's going to be great, I have flash drives that are physically bigger.
And dear Apple has gen 2 Ipad scheduled to release in 6-8 weeks. I knew I didn't want to buy one now, it will wait. I don't want to put it on credit and I don't have the money for it, and I need to be more practical right now.
Work was good, I didn't get enough parts/inventory counting done but did get some other things done that needed done. I do want to bid to the slot Anthony has if/when it's available. Ad the days slot would be even better for my foot. But I do like my current schedule, get a lot of cleaning done, sometimes manage to put some stuff where it belongs and I can also pick up some overtime now and then without taxing my body too much.
It's getting cold and I have a lot of outside work to do. Ben said he would help me remove the air conditioner from my bedroom window after I got home from work but he's not here so maybe it will get done tomorrow. It lets a lot of cold air in and covering it would help but it doesn't do as much good as removing it.
Time for Kid and I to get comfortable and watch tv and knit, I keep hoping Kid learns something from those knitting lessons.

Chili and friends

2010-11-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Otto and Lou both came to supper and watch How To Train Your Dragon with me. It was a great supper with 2 people that I enjoy seeing and don't often have time now that I am working.
I bound off 1 of Jake's socks and am doing the black ribbing on the top of the second one. And worked on folding some of that mountian of laundry I did yesterday. The floors are cleaner and the needed filters were changed.
It's a good day off and I will be having another one tomorrow, not the same as today, maybe I will get some outside work done, maybe I will go to town and look for a replacement for my sound system that doesn't like to work. The speakers are still fine, I just need something to make them work, play music cds, play dvds..but know it's not top of the priority list...I can take the cover off this one and maybe that will make it work, did the trick last time.
It's cold and windy outside, will be glad to have that heat for the bed and the dog to help warm up my back..if he will do that. He spent most of last night on his own dogbed. Otto thinks it's a good idea to get his house a bed and was pleased to know I found a door, he will lend a hand installing it if I need the help.
I am thinking on the house changes I want so I have more space for spiral stairs.
My life is getting some things back that were a part of me and my world before the accident but I won't ever be the same. It's not just my foot/leg and the walk. There's so much I have no words to explain. I'm tighter on my values, it's not so much as they have changed, it's that they are more solid and defined. Priorities are different, now that I am back at work I am sorting that 'important' list out.
My need for self reliance is stronger, and I am working on making my home and my finances to where they meet my needs for that. Having the debt load paid down and off and accounts closed matters more to me now that it did in the past.
I drifted for most of the months while I was healing from this accident, now I am getting control of my life back and I am no longer willing to just drift. It's going to take time, but I am gaining strength every week. And I am coping better with so many things now.
And tomorrow will be a really good day, Kid and I might even get to the park so he can run and do the wild dog thing. Do the internet bill paying thing, see what the weather is like, and then decide what I am doing with the day. I know Not doing lunch with Darrell is high on that list of what I am NOT doing. We are NOT dating, and no matter what talk is going about the plant, I am not involved with him, and I am not going to encourage him or anyone to think we are involved than just friends and not close friends.

IPAD, IPAD, think it's a bad addiction thing

2010-11-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

And I don't know if I would even play/use it enough to make it worth the $$$ that they cost..but it doesn't stop me from drooling over them.
So long as it's only drooling I am safe. I need to make long lists of what I want paid off, of what needs done here, of what really matters to me..
I have a huge amount of debt load to get paid down. I have an old house that has huge needs and all of them cost huge amounts of that money stuff. I have loads of dolls that would like me to sew for them, I have socks for Jake to finish, I have a sweater for me to knit, I have yarn to knit socks for Julie. I have 3, yes, 3 computers that all work..and 2 Ipod critters, and there is NO reason to want that IPAD so much.
I do remember the Christmas Jake and I did Des Moines, and the ITOUCH was the new, just released Apple toy to have. I looked and drooled and decided that since it was new, Apple had generation #2 already in the factories and gen #3 on the drawing boards. And prices would drop and they would improve.
And it happened, so if I had bought that Itouch then I would have within a couple months wished I had waited a few months. I think that is the way it will be with the Ipad, it is very popular, it's selling well so I have no doubt that gen #2 and #3 are being worked on, and that prices might drop some, hard drive will increase and the next generation released will be an improvement on this one, and there will be several models to choose from.
So, everyone, beat me if I start trying to budget payments for that Ipad any time soon. Tell me I can wait until after tax time, after the settlement, buy 1 as a New roof is done reward...buy 1 as 'I now have central air' reward...buy 1 when I have 2 bathrooms in this house and both work..buy..ya, ya, just so I don't buy 1 any time really soon, I am better off buying the north bathroom a window replacement, buying the windows I want for the dormer I plant to have put in with the roof job...windows, think windows, not pads, especially Ipads

Grubby, nasty, food filled keyboards

2010-11-02T08:58:00.001-07:00

I admit to eating at the computer, that's why my laptop has a cool keyboard cover for it's keyboard. Ben is the 1 who really makes a mess, a sticky, ugly gross mess of my keyboard. So, I have a sealed, washable, flexible one ordered and then went and cleaned the old 1 this morning along with getting the dishes done. I managed to loose the K key but have the 'end' key in it's place, don't use that 'end' key enough to miss it. And will have a food and drink tolerable keyboard here soon. There's a reason I don't often use the big computer....
It's 41 now outside, and I am going to strip the bed and dig out that heated mattress pad and put clean sheets on the bed. I want it warm and cosy when I crawl in, especially when I hurt a lot and am beat tired. And I am going to see if I can live with the heat set at 71 this winter, know last winter it was between 72 and 74 but I need to keep a tighter budget this year. I will encourage Kid to be cuddly and provide heat, and dress warmer. I can no longer run around the house bare foot due to the foot problems from the accident so that will help me feel warmer, socks and shoes, padded slippers are now a part of life.
My body is managing work better than I expected/feared but I have a long way to go yet. But it feels so great to be back in plant, to be doing my job and to be working hard to do my job to the best of my abilities.
Ben is out and about again, so it's just Kid and me. we are ok with that except for the long work hours when Kid is outside. He will benefit from some of this overtime, I already got him a good house and now will get it the pad made for that model doghouse, and the door for it and the electric heat pad. then I will have to move the house so it's close enough to plug that heat pad in. It's made for exterior use and the outlet is 1 that can switch off, duu, forgot what they are called.
I am going to look into electric fencing for the entire yard so Kid will stay better in our yard and not have to be on his cable run. I would love chain link fencing around most of the place but need a survey first, and it's a lot of labor to put up the fence. Something I can't do alone now, that's for sure.
1 of my pals wants to do lunch out Thursday if I don't end up scheduled to work. I need to get everyone to understand Thursday-IF I don't work is MY home day. I don't want to go far from home, I have a list of stuff I want done that day and I want to have a lot of down with feet up time and Kid time. Fridays my paycheck is in the bank, I might have errands and maybe even can play a bit..so Friday is my out and about day--if I am not needed at work.
I will get that worked out, and will stand firm, it's what schedule works for me and for the dog and for the stuff here I need or want to do. If Julie is off that day, she's over to play and sew and that too is high on my list of important.
I am going to hope the next 2 shifts are peaceful with both Anthony and I working, his attitude is NOT improved by his most recent suspension. And now he and Tina T. are very aware that I am capable and quite willing to take overtime from them. I have the seniority over them, and that's what paying those union dues all these years is all about. They complain about the hours and about overtime, ok, no problem, I will work it and be glad to have it if it works for my schedule and for my body. I am not going to beat myself to death just to rub it in their noses that I don't mind the overtime and that I have more time in plant than either of them do.
But I was off 8.5+ months and everyone worked a lot of hours they might not have wanted because of my long recovery from the accident, now it's my turn to work and theirs to have some time off.
I can sure use the money to pay off those co-pays on the medical bills and to pay larger payments on my credit debts and get those paid off and closed. I can re-build my savings accounts and have funds for work on my old house once again.
Well, I am going to put that dragon training movie in and enjoy it while I work on digging out the warm winter bedding and get the bed ready for cold winter nights and a very spoilt and whiny old woman

Love the internet

2010-10-31T17:20:00.000-07:00

Comfortable in bed to get a few hours rest before heading back to the plant to work 3rd shift and checked my bank account and paid a couple bills. Now, you have to admit there is a lot of really bad stuff out there in cyberspace but it's a great tool also, it all depends on how you choose to use it.
Most of my bills I can pay on line, I can be sure they are paid and I can have proof they are paid. And I can do it any time of day or night and from anywhere I have internet connection. Now, that's convenient and makes my very busy work life easier.
I put in 16 hours overtime this past week and will be putting in 7.5 or more this coming week, so the credit debt got payments early and more than the min. amount, the city utilities all get paid and next week the savings gets extra $$ and the medical bills get paid, some will be paid off, a small loan gets an early payment again and I am paying extra on it every month too. And then the check after that, the house payment for January will get paid.
And I found some stuff called Blue=Emu that seems to really help with the foot pain, it's not some warm up, hot feeling stuff, and no smell so if it helps and makes life easier, I will make sure it's on the budget. I like feeling I am getting a few pieces of my life back into some sort of working order. I am starting to have a financial plan every week once again.
And I am thinking and talking next spring's flowerbeds and garden work. That too, it's part of my normal little world. I know I have a long ways to go, I don't expect the settlement with the accident to take place before the end of the year but I can hope.
It would be nice to be starting the new year with that done and moving on with my life. And Jake and maybe Red might be home on leave in early Jan., so I will hope they both can come and I will plan and hope to take my week of vacation time then.
I'm looking at flat screens for the bedroom and drooling over the IPAD but I don't have Mac computers so at this time an Ipad would be a seriously limited and very high $$$ toy..and they don't do any USB Flash drives stuff..so that means they are really limited when it comes to storage. I'm here in bed with my small netbook and it's got a lot larger hard drive than the biggest they put in an Ipad, and has 3 usb ports, does more and was far lower. But I still really like that Ipad, it's so cool, I can imagine reading e-books anywhere with it..and I am starting to really like e-books, some books I have in the attic I now have in the Toshiba as e-books, free e-books, and I have several in here. And I love the idea of downloading them onto a flash drive so I can move them from computer to computer. I don't want an e-reader, they have too small of screens to suit my old eyes.
So, despite the accident, I feel I have a really good life and it's getting back on solid ground, I am dreaming old house projects once again and knowing some will become reality as finances get better. The flowerbeds will improve, there will be a garden once again so I can share produce again with friends and people I know.
I am so liking this not dating and no man/relationship in my life. Just friends and pals works well for me, I don't want more, don't miss or want any more, don't want slobbered on, pawed or otherwise handled.
It's just a very good time for being solitary. I'm not alone, I have some close and valuable friends and my sons, and I have to admit that dog sure is devoted to me, even with the long work hours when he's outside on his cable run and Mom is gone...
Knitting and sewing are taking a back seat to work right now, but know that will balance out in time. We never go long with this much overtime to sign up for, I didn't plan to do any but I'm the 1 working the best schedule to work for most of the others, it's the 'advantages' of the supply clerk slot I have. And day shift/weekdays has the easiest work load..and I hope someday it's mine. But it's got to be posted to bid for first, and Max is still working, and I don't wish her out of her needed paycheck...I can wait, or most days I think I can.

work schedules might get crazy

2010-10-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

The current sign up sheet has a lot of empty spaces, Anthony's hours this week, Max's hours tomorrow day shift, Gwen's hours Sunday. I have signed to work today Anthony's hours, and Max's day shift, will do splits with Friday night and Saturday night if needed.
I do know suspension is either 3 days or indefinite, and terminated is just that. The union can help if the plant decision was unfair or against contract. So, with Anthony walked out Tuesday that would mean he would be back Friday IF it was a 3 day suspension.
Friday's 2nd shift hours are up on the board so that means he is not expected back Friday or Saturday.
My foot might not tolerate all the hours I might be asked to work but I already talked to my dept. management and told them I would do all I could to help out. I know everyone had to work more hours than they wanted to with my absence for 8.5 months with this auto accident.
I plan to bid Anthony's slot when it goes up on the board. He won a bid to the kill floor so if he gets back, he will probably be leaving the department. And in time Max's day slot will be on the board to bid and I will bid that but probably won't get it right away.
I already told Ben I will need a lot more help around here so I can survive the overtime, my foot and I will need a lot of down time when I am not at work.
The extra money will be nice but I can make it without it, I will increase what goes into savings and I will pay more on the credit debts and on any medical bills from the appendix project.
I have some outside clean up work I will get Ben's help with but it's getting to be a good time to hole up and be inside.
Before the accident I looked at overtime as 'play' money and did that with a lot of it. Now I see it as opportunity to lower my debt load and increase my savings. Going to play is a lot harder now, walking is more effort, drives to Springfield are longer and harder now.
It would be nice to start 2011 with my savings built back up, with my debt load lower than it was at the start of 2010 and with the settlement done or soon to be done and knowing I could get the old roof torn off this house and a new dry roof on.
I might buy some new undies and get rid of some of my very old ones, Victoria's Secret stuff lasts for years and years, the weight I gained gives me a good excuse to toss out some old scanties and get new. I would like a few nice button front type shirts and will shop on line for those but I have enough pants/jeans. I will replace my cargo pants with Carhart work jeans, as they wear out. But clothes wise, I am in good shape for now.
I might subscribe to Piecework magazine once again, but I doubt if I buy any e-readers, I can download e-books, many of them free into my laptop and my netbook so cannot see spending the money. I like the IPAD but it's very $$$ and not a 'toy' I need. Liking it is not enough reason to shell out huge $$$ when I have debts that need the money more.
If I manage well I can be free of most or all of my credit card debt in 2-3 years. And that would be a good place to be. The house would get more money for improvements and I could save more and worry less.
I will say that Anthony's being walked out Tuesday solved my social delema, Darrell wanted me to go to Springfield with him today, and I want my Thursdays to be home and down a lot, do stuff here. My foot likes life a lot better that way, I don't want a dating relationship with Darrell and he's on vacation and bored, his problem and not mine.
I like him as a friend but I enjoy running to Springfield with Ben more, and when it comes to going out to eat, a book or Ben are often higher on the list for company unless Kim or Julie are free.
We dated once, it did not work, I can like him as a friend and not want more involved. I just don't want or need a dating/romantic/intimate relationship at this time. My life is way too complicated, I don't have the time or energy or desire. I don't even dream of men in my life or bed and right now I really like it that way.
Ben didn't come home, he's still over with James and Luis working on their water line or played games and slept late, I want him to come home, packing my DVD of How to Train Your Dragon so I can watch it again...before I go to work today, again. I did that last Thursday, was called in and here I am, this time I won't be called in, I signed the work sheet, no sense in making it hard on management, it's not their fault. They need me to work and I will do what I can. They do treat me well and do value me.

Work Fun..or something like

2010-10-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

I headed to work in a great mood yesterday, lunch out with D.H., picked up a new pair of jeans ON Sale, and so the day started well. T.T. had problems with the label printer so did not receive much new stock, it's really backed up. Allen. would hand write the labels when needed but guess it's not done that way now....so not much stock to put away.
A.M. was back, after his 3 days 'sick' and 2 normal 'off' days and was in the office within minutes..I have no idea what went on or why, some gossip but not really my business. He was walked out, either suspended or terminated and no idea if he is gone for good or for just a day or 2... but I did enjoy the peaceful work shift.
I don't want a lot (or any) overtime right now, my body needs time to adjust and it's still healing from the accident. But it looks like I will be working a lot of overtime as we deal with manning problems in a department with few people and some who are not willing to help carry the load.
I will do what I can but I do know my limits and will not push them very far. The others can do their part, management can deal with it, I am human and much slower than I was before the accident and will not kill myself or do myself permanent damage.
And the order from Fort Western came today, 1 pair of jeans are back ordered but the other 2 are in the washer with what was left. I did most of the laundry yesterday.
Next will be to sort out the undies and toss some out and replace them when I can. It means a trip to Springfield and time at Victoria's Secret so that will all depend on the work load and how beat tired I am after work.
The truck is down at Bruce's for oil change and check the passenger front wheel area, there's grease all over the rim from center out so I am concerned about wheel bearings or something else. I don't think it's leaking brake fluid but Bruce can check it and fix it and I can pay the bill.
And payroll not only paid me the week of vacation I wanted to sell but also paid me the 2 days I had from last year coming so with the overtime and vacation pay I will be paying bills and have some breathing space. It does not go to medical bills this week but my credit and utility bills here.
Next week I might do medical bills again, and then the check after that will again be the house payment. I am starting to get some balance and pattern again as to who I am working for each week and who gets paid. It will take a while and I will be very glad when most of the medical bills are off my shoulders.
Well, the washer is done so need to toss that stuff into the dryer. And since my bed is buried under clean clothes I need to do something with them, get a shower, get down to the shop and check on my truck, get ready for work..same old thing..and probably a lot of stock to put away and possibly working alone again...makes for less work and far more peace. I can handle that for the most part...

Too many chores yet to do here

2010-10-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

But I did wash the dishes and I might actually work on putting away my clean clothes today before I head to work. The garden clean up will wait a bit, the shovel I need is across town where Ben is helping with water line replacement from the new city meter into the house, lots of hard digging I am so glad I am not helping with.
Work is going ok, I come home miserable with pain often and beat tired but I think slowly I am gaining strength and feel in time I will have less pain most shifts. I am so very glad to be back at work and feel I am starting to get my life back into some sort of real world, real life living once again.
It's warm here for this time of year and we've not seen much rain, the roof is glad of that as are the farmers as they get the last of the corn and soybeans out of the fields. I look forward to this time next year and know I should be living with a roof that no longer leaks and a working plan for the continuing renovations here.
The knitting is going slowly, I really need to finish up the current pair of Jake socks I have going and get the pair for Julie cast on. I am seeing very slow progress on the blue work gansey but it's not because I am not knitting on it, it's a very slow knit, easy pattern but fine yarn, small gauge needles so it doesn't grow fast, something like 10-11 rows to make an inch. I am going to like it and enjoy wearing it once I do finally get it done but it's going to take a long while. I might be wearing it by the new year but no bets on that.
Wonder how the car hauling has been going and hope it's going well, that loads are there and that the truck and trailer are holding up well.
I know that now, at this time in my life, I have a lot to deal with, this accident has made a mess of my life and also made a mess of 'me' in ways. I have to get a lot of that sorted out before I can deal with much when it comes to other people and relationships with them. And I do not have the energy to spend time, quality time with much of anyone now that I am working.
I do hope that as the months go by I find myself with less pain and more energy and wanting and able to enjoy my days off. It takes time, I am not able to bounce back easily, some is the age of my body, some is the damage to my foot and leg, some is the long recovery time.
But I am making it through each work shift, I am doing my work load each shift and that is what I need to be doing. And I am getting back on track with a budget and with knowing what needs paid which week once again. It will take some time before I have all the medical bills cleared up, the ones from the accident will or should clear up with the settlement but the ones from the appendix are not even here yet so I have no idea what of that I will owe.
Looking at the income tax stuff too, did increase my state withholding as know it was not taken out of the disability pay so want to make sure that is covered so I don't have to dig up money when I file income taxes. I should do ok with federal this year, have not paid a lot in but did not earn a lot and won't by the end of the year.
It will take me a while to get everything sorted out, but at least I have funds going every week into savings now, that feels good. It won't build up fast but at least it's building once again.
And I am cleaning out clothes I don't wear and will replace some with what I will wear, no more tight jeans for me, gained a couple pounds, might loose some of that but am not too worried as I am still under 130 and that is ok for my frame/age. Comfort is the rule now, and what suits me, what I like, out with some things and look to replace some things in time.

Saturday's work shift is Done

2010-10-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

And it was busy, production going and maint chasing parts and new stock to receive and put away, A.M. called in again, he went home 'sick' Thursday so I worked his shift, T.T. worked his shift Friday instead of receiving, G.D. worked instead of D.D., whose MIL has passed away. G.D. is working his hours due to the emergency so she will be taking off days during the week, calling in or given the days in exchange for the ones she has worked this weekend.
I am glad I will be having the overtime on next week's check, did make my first house payment since this accident yesterday before going to Springfield, have final (we hope) appointment with my orthopedic dr. on 11/12, tried to find jeans or pants I liked enough to buy. Was a change to be trying to buy something besides work clothes.
I ended up ordering what I wanted. Part was overpriced and part was nothing that suited my taste. I am not paying huge sums for jeans that look partly worn out before I even get them on.
My foot is tolerating work better than I expected but I come home with it hurting and want to be down with my feet up once I am home.
The knitting is going slowly, I need to put time into Jake's socks and get them done, they just need 2-3 inches of black ribbing at the top and bound off. My sweater grows very slowly but it is growing, I think it takes about 10 rows to make an inch.
Fall is here, it won't be long before it's winter again. My year has gone by so strangely and with around $100,000 in medical bills, 3 surgeries, far more pain than I ever thought I would be learning to live through. I want this year to end, maybe next year will be better for me.

I have a New Favorite Movie

2010-10-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

How to Train Your Dragon. I have waited for many months for it to come out on dvd, right now it's a huge splurge in a very tight budget...I am going to drive everyone batty watching it, it's funny, it's cute, I made a lot of knitting errors on the current sweater project that I then had to correct and I Don't Care, they can be fixed...and I have to work today, called in so is 1.5x my regular pay and when I get home, maybe I will take that disk to my bedroom and go to sleep watching dragons...
Ok, so I am very juvenile, but it's a cute movie and I needed the fun escape...now to get ready and head to work, go in 30 minutes late, not sure why but am sure I will learn more once in plant..off I go, overtime, overtime, ya, ya off I go.....

Another Monday

2010-10-18T07:47:00.000-07:00

And today, before work I will pull on my bib overalls and go do some clean up work in the garden and also pick a bag of chilies to take to work and leave for a woman I know on sanitation, I have her locker # so can hang the bag there if I don't see her. She knows I have it planned so will know who they are from and knowing her, if the bag is large, she will share with others.
Work is going ok, I do come home tired and hurting but that is to be expected. 8.5 months off work at my age does make it very hard to go back and my job is very physical and busy most of the time.
It's great to be back and now I am expected to make coffee if the pot is empty in the boiler room when I go down there to get a cup of coffee, to me, that's a step up in being a dues paying member of that coffee club. It's nice to have that 'back home, finally' feeling I have at work, on Sundays with our Sunday work and crew.
I miss going to church, the people there, but I am going to try and make Sunday night Bible study instead. It was hard to get up haul me to Rushville, foot, right hip really hurt but I am so glad I went.
The blue sweater is making slow progress, I decided it was going to be too snug around and ripped out the 6 inches I had done and started over with more stitches so now have the 3" of ribbing done and the first 'set' of the body pattern done, that makes about an inch of actual sweater body, it will be slow going.
Fall is really here and I need to start doing some outside work on the garden and such. I had hoped to move/divide my hosta plants this past spring and it was a job I couldn't do alone and didn't have help when it really needed done. But I can probably do some of that this fall and then they will have some time to start growing new roots and getting settled in and do better in the spring.
Julie will help me if we can manage a day off the same time and Ben will work with me, pal Darrell will NOT be helping me, he's scheduled for surgery for torn roter cuff in his left shoulder, work related and done on a Friday, right now it's looking like the first Friday in November.
Several years ago he and pal Nancy helped me move the brick mess, and then dig and divide the pampas grass, now he gets to come and enjoy the change that made and take some credit for the work/improvement. Nancy has pampas grass at her place that came from sections of my plants.
Kid is still growing and does in a rawhide chew bone in about an hour now. I will have to buy him really big ones if I want them to last.
And I am thinking electric fence and a collar will help that dog know where those property lines are and which side of them he belongs on. He needs to stay here, other than chasing cats out, he can chase them across the street, they will still come back but I will let him chase them that far.
Well, need to eat and get some outside work done before going to the paycheck job. That sounds so much like the 'normal Maggie' life I had before this accident..

Mondays are such fun

2010-10-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's my mid-week day with my work schedule and such fun. The rules have not changed in our dept. They do apply to everyone, not my problem if other clerks did not do it by the rules, I do and if you have a problem with the rules, please talk to my dept head or my supervisor, and as a supervisor yourself, I am sure you expect the employees in your department to obey the rules, my boss expects that of me, it is part of what I am being paid to do so please respect that.
Oh, ya, it's going to be a change for people to have me back in plant and in supply. I do it by the rules and I am quite willing to tell people that until my boss tells me otherwise, it is by the rules, sorry, it's part of my job.
Friend Otto will now feed Kid his meals while I am at work, I pack up puppy chow in sour cream containers and take them across to Otto, this way I touch base and chat with Otto and he has something to do. Kid can get by without the meal but it's good for all of us.
My body is adjusting some to work but it will be long and slow. I did work on accident paperwork today, have 2 letters to go in the mail tomorrow, also have to pay on my house insurance and pay Dish Network bill.
I added up the medical bills from the accident and they are under $60,000. And my health insurance statement for last year was in the paperwork, it came after the accident and ended up in that mess, last year my total medical costs were under $2,000. And most years it's been less than that, the first 3-4 years here I didn't see a doctor at all.
Oh, well, guess that car accident sure made up for many years of not seeing doctors.

Fulmar is done, next sweater is started

2010-10-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

And Kid is having problems adjusting to my going back to work, especially as Ben isn't here right now so Kid is outside on his run for about 9 hours.

He's a clinging vine once I am home from work and bugs me to get more attention. He doesn't like me sitting in the kitchen with the laptop or in the living room at the desk, he wants me on the futon so he can be almost on my lap.

But the red Fulmar is done, washed and dry and it's what I have worn to work the past 2 shifts, mornings are cool enough for the sweater, but we are expecting rains to come in this coming week so I might need something more waterproof for my next 3 shifts.

Yesterday I took a nap after work, tonight I hurt but am not as beat tired. I need to wash dishes and will probably do them this evening.

Friend Allen Tippy has been finally sent to the job bid he won before my accident so Tina T. will do the receiving for now. Allen has to qualify on that job before the receiving clerk job is put up for bid. I can't do it, physically I am just not up to the challenge right now and don't want the nit-picking from everyone that job seems to bring.

It's good to be back to working, know I am tired but hope that in a couple weeks I have less pain and less feeling beat tired. I know it will be after the end of the year before things can be settled with State Farm, I will make payments on medical bills and I will keep a tight budget here and get by. At least with working I now have a few $ going into payroll savings once again.

It's getting cloudy now and the trees are moving so we must be having some wind. I really need to do some shopping at Save a lot and Dollar, Kid needs chew toys and I need some canned things from Save a lot.

Kid can go with me and be truck dog, he's needs to learn to sit and wait in the truck for me, it's good training. And he's not going to be good about being tied out on his run, having to be there while I am at work is hard enough for him to adjust to, and yes, he is spoilt and I do know it.

Woo, day off work and I earned it.

2010-10-07T06:15:00.000-07:00

Foot and body found it to be a long and hard work week, ya, after 8 months, 17 days off, 1 car accident, 1 bout of preforated appendix, 3 surgeries, it was a very long time off and a very out of shape body.
But it was good to be back in plant, working again, lots of changes in supply, some new faces, some new blue (supervisor) bump caps on familiar faces. Now to get my password at HRdirect fixed so I can bid on jobs, check my up-coming paychecks early, change my tax with holding, change what I have pulled for savings...another battle with phone and people who aren't here in the USA and who don't always understand my language, whose accent makes it hard to understand theirs..
But I will get some work done on the red Aran, do have yarn for 3 sweaters, 1 out of a book, complex but at least I don't design as I go. 1 I am designing as I go, part is on graph paper, part is in my head and needs worked out on paper and with calculator, part will get figured out once I see the waist 'skirt' or ribbing I plan to do and the bottom textured pattern I have graphed out.
Love ganseys and this 1 will my my own design and my future work sweater in a blue that reminds me of well broken in jeans.
And I have some white Aran type wool that I want a front zip, with pockets, and a hood Aran type sweater, in my size please. And once knit, I plan to give it a bath in some periwinkle blue dye I bought years back with that very idea in mind, I just did not know what I wanted for a sweater out of the gifted yarn.
Friend Darrell has said he would try and come today and we could walk the park trail with my wild dog, it would be nice to have a human companion on the walk for a change, and Kid loves to run and romp and chase leaves and smells on that walk.
I limp terribly now, it is very noticable and no, it won't ever go way, I won't get much better than I am now, but I can get a lot worse. No, I have not gotten rich but I have racked up close to $75,000 in medical bills and 3 surgeries in less than 9 months. Yes, I do hurt, always, and some times a lot, but I am walking and I am finally back to work.
Now to deal with all the paperwork, like the appeal on my health insurance denying the emergency room in Rushville--because they put 'appendicitis' on it, not accute, no comment about it needing immediate surgery they could not preform. The phone call was easy, it should be covered, fill out an appeal, we have all the supporting documentation, that should fix it. Great, but over 1 hour to get signed up at the on line site and get the form downloaded. Son Ben and Foxfire browser finally got the form I need. I will fill it out and get it in today's mail and make sure I make a copy first for my file...
Now back to working on the red Aran..want it done so I can play guilt free with my other yarns

Booted Out, LOL

2010-10-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

My Long absence from Cargill Supply has gotten my name booted out of the computer system we use in supply. It will take upper management to get me put back in so that means I did not mess up with my password change Saturday, we password in 2 times, and I was still in the first, plant computer system but not in the other one.
It will be fixed today, and I am also to get re-trained and re-certified on the fork truck, that is on some schedule too. And that suits me. I can't use fork truck until I am re-certified but still have the hand jacks to use and I can do a lot of what I need to with that and did in the past, no big change there.
Whole body hurts and gets tired fast but that is to be expected. I am making a tiny dent in the dis-order and dust and such each shift, not a big improvement but as it's continual, it will slowly make a difference, day by day.
The red sweater doesn't gain much each day, but I am knitting on it, and I will be wearing it before the end of this month and be working on the next sweater or should I say sweaters. I want the blue 1 for work to replace the 1 that was cut off me at the hospital so want to start it, and I am designing that 1 from scratch. The purple 1 is going to be my light casual "look nice" sweater so I want it started and I am adapting another Alice Starmore pattern to suit/fit me. Again out of Fishermen's Sweaters, this time I will be using Eriskay for my base and just doing some size adjusting to fit me better, need to do a swatch and see what I get for measurements first though so I can make sure it's not too snug around but not way too loose.
It's getting cool nights now but so far no frost. I have a lot of canna roots to dig, dry and store when it frosts hard, and need to work on the grass and weeds in the garden too, will do some of that Thursday if the weather allows.
I want to play with designing a heavy Aran and do have yarn to knit it but know it will be a harder or more coarse feeling sweater, the yarn is, so not sure what size I want to make it, as not sure I will want to wear it. I am thinking if I adapted a zipped front pattern I would wear it more than if I had it pull over, and again, if I did a hood that fit me comfortably, that too might get it worn some, as would pockets. I have a man's pattern in 1 of Mom's books that would work for a base to start with. But I have other knitting that needs done first and is more important so it's on the 'later' list for now
Need to get myself fed soon, heard the front door so imagine Kid bugged Ben enough to get let out for a bathroom break. Kid is very good at getting Ben to give him bathroom breaks but not always as good about getting Ben to remember it's dog supper time.