Attitude and age

     I turned 60 this week, and as I do believe in reincarnation, feel I have lived before but never to this age.  Yes, I am liking this living and aging, yes, I do have pains and aches and am aging, but I love being alive and doing the living.

     I have made mistakes, poor choices, trusted those not worth trusting and been a fool, but I have grown, and learned and loved and laughed too.  This is my life to live, for the reasons I am here, even when I am not sure what those reasons are, I know God has purpose for my being here, alive at this time and for my being the person I am.

     So many choices, over the years, good choices and bad ones, appreciate and enjoy the good choices and learned from the bad ones and accepted the clean up job to put my life back in order.  That matters too, that I accept responsibility for my decisions and the results of those decisions.

     And I am not, and never have been the failure that my only daughter has told the world I am, I did not fail her, and I did not look the other way or allow anyone to abuse or molest her, ever.  I am not why she is the way she is, that is her life and her choices, not my fault, and not the fault of her children or their father.  Her decisions and her choices, no matter what she says, it is hers and hers alone.

     My days are good, and that is my choice, no matter what problems we have at work, no matter how tight the budget is, or how cold it is, how much pain I have, my days are good, because I choose to make them good and worth having days.

     I know my choices and how I choose to live just doesn't work for some people, but I am not living their lives and I am quite willing to let them have their life the way they want it or the way they make it be.  They are not running my life, earning my paycheck or paying my bills, so I don't worry too much if my choices are approved by them or not.  It's a working system for me.

     Yes, I am riding this weekend, and probably alone, and old highways that follow the rivers, slow old roads that get me down south, at an easy pace and with not a lot of traffic, most of the time.  My day to enjoy my life and my peace.  

New Rides

     Last Saturday I took some old roads down to St. Louis, new rides for me and the trip down on the Rebel was to look at new rides also, at the Europen bike shop, I am trading in the Metro for a Vespa, bigger, a bit faster, and I can afford the payments.

     I might have a local buyer for the Metro, we shook hands on a firm price, paid in cash today but the man has tried, again to get me to agree to a lower price than the 1 we shook hands on, that will not happen and I have no problems trading the Metro in on the new Vespa, bike shop has no problem with that either so truck is ready to go down, and the Metro is ready to load.

     That sort of stuff annoys me, I do not do it to others, once a price is agreed on, I pay that or I don't buy, if I cannot afford something, I accept that I don't get the item, and if I am not willing to pay their bottom price, I accept that they have that right, and since my original price for the Metro was below book, dropping it 20% was a very good deal and the man knows it, and can afford it but thinks he can push me to accept a lower price.  NO, and no I am not telling him what the bike shop will give for trade in, it is none of his business, if he wants my Metro, he can pay the agreed price, and I will not mess around after work, bike shop needs to know before closing today, that is 6:00 so I will be calling before then and loading the scooter by then.  

     And stuff like that is why trading it in is so much easier, and no one coming back, after they mess up the little machine and wanting their money back cuz the ruined the little scooter...

Flying time and old vehicles

     It seems like time has escaped me, and it is finally warm enough to pull the cover off the air conditioner and turn it on, to change the oil in the Rebel and get the battery in that and a few other things that needed done around here.  

     But the list of what still needs done is very long and my time goes by so fast.  I have spent the past week with both the car down and the truck down.  The car had transmission fluid leaking last Sunday and was towed to a shop near Pekin, the problem being the cooling lines in the radiator for that transmission fluid, not the lines to and from it but inside it.  It is now fixed and waiting for the bill to be paid and someone to go up there and get it.

     Jake has been using the truck, never a good thing but I have also neglected to keep up with maintenance on it.  The brake hoses, connecting the brake lines have gone bad, 1 started leaking and broke before Jake got the truck back home last weekend.  Ben, with some help from me, has changed 2 of the 3 hoses, replaced a very rusted brake line that broke while we were trying to get things apart but it has brakes now, we have the part to replace the back hose and that will get done once the car is home.  

     And I will be buying shocks for the front of the truck, the ones on it are very, very badly rusted and are not really road safe.  I am very glad it is warmed up enough I can plan to run the scooter to work and errands here in town.  

    My drywall work in the attic is not done, so I will have a very hot attic and we will start getting the work done soon, I know every seam sealed and every bit of insulation covered with drywall helps with the heating and cooling here but I have not put enough effort after work evenings on getting stuff ready so we could start working in the south end.  

     I keep thinking I am getting the finances in better order but now vehicles are putting me back deeper in debt, $500 on the car, not counting the trip up and back to get it home, and now the brakes and shocks on the truck.  But Ben is doing the work and I am buying the parts and some tools at Auto Zone so the costs are a lot lower than if the truck was in the shop and I know what is done.  

    The car was in the shop 3 times this winter, when I first bought it and knew it needed some work, that bill cost me more than I paid for the car, but I did also have new tires put on, and then 2 more trips back to the shop over a brake problem, which ruined a new tire and gave me another shop bill.  IF things had been done correctly and with all new parts on those rear brakes there would not have been 2 more trips into the shop and a ruined rear tire.

   Which is part of the reason I did not consider having the car towed down here but had it taken to a shop in the Pekin area instead.  And that is why Ben is doing my truck work as I buy parts, he might drive me crazy with dragging out the work some but he does live here with me supporting him and I would rather he did the work than pay for the shop I have used for over 13 years and wonder what they did not do that will become another shop trip and another shop bill that messes up my budget.

    But I did not think about those rubber brake hoses and needing to check them, nor had I looked at the shocks or such for years on the truck.  My neglect and my problems, but I will be looking over brake lines and hoses on the neon once it is home and also on the shocks so that if they need replaced, we do it before they are in as bad a condition as the ones on my truck.  

      But work is ok and stable for now, a bit less time on the clock right now so a bit smaller paychecks, but I have paid down some of my debt load and I am working to be more careful about my wasting money so I can get the debts paid down faster.  I had hoped to put some more on debt this week but instead I have added to that with parts and will add more with the shop bill up north.  

     So, I will hope that Ben and I can keep the car and truck road safe and repairs done for a while and that weather will let me run the scooter to work a lot and not put wear and miles on the vehicles or burn as much gas.

     I need to tidy up in the sewing room again, and that is another place where I seem to be dragging my ass and not getting things done, I read and knit and shut out reality far too much in the past month or so, pain levels with my hands and right foot, but the foot seems to make some progress, anti-fungus cream seems to be resolving the skin growth or whatever that is putting so much pressure on some of those damaged bones I stand on all work shift.

     But life here is quiet and calm, no huge battles or other issues, I might still not be happy with the political games and who is running for office but there is little I can do about that and I know my quiet, single life is working nicely for me, despite the vehicles having mechanical issues and sucking up a lot of money.

Stupid runs rampant

     Just strikes me some days that stupid runs rampant on Facebook and among people I actually know in the real world.  A very few funerals are 'State' events where dignitaries attend.  Most are for the grieving family and friends, our President and our First Lady do not belong there, unless they are related or friends.  The security and the media circus are not wanted or needed at a funeral, sending a donation, flowers, appropriate words of condolence is the proper action.  

     And, it was not the correct thing to cut short a months on planning political tour starting in Cuba and going to Argentina, and other countries south of the USA when the terrorists attacks took place in Brussles.  Our President was not out of touch, he was not insensitive, he was taking care of international business with our southern neighbors and was keeping in close touch with experts and his advisors both here in the States and in Europe.  Yes, the man does have knowledge of modern communications and has a good staff, and knows how to get the calls made, take the actions, direct the people he needs to direct and still work on building better working relations with our southern neighbors.  

     I think he has made his share of poor decisions and choices that did not go or do what my choice would hav been, but then, no president has either.  We are more economically stable now that we were when he took office, and we have more terrorist problems that were years in the building.   I do not know of any actions he could have taken that would not have resulted in similar issues or worse.  

     I do know the next few years could get far worse with the current slate of candidates we have running right now.  And I know I am getting too old to think it is any fun.  I like stable and I like race time.  But I am not running our country or the world so will have to work with what I have.

Making progress upstairs.

      In 1900, when this house was built, no one planned for it to have an upstairs living area, but it has been gaining on that since I bought it in July 2004 and the north sewing studio is close to done.  The windows need trimmed, as does the peg board.  And a few other small things, but I am slowly putting my sewing area back into working order and love having ceiling done and painted, walls done and painted.

     I know I have put a lot of money and time into this old house and will continue to do so, it is my place and my life and my pay checks.  This is my place, where I like being and where I do a lot of the things I enjoy.  So instead of vacations, or meals out, I would rather put the money here, long term enjoyment and improved quality of live.

     The paint on the sewing desk has had at least 72 hours of drying time now so after work I start sorting fabrics and putting them on the shelves, about 10 feet of shelves for me to play with, enough space to have a good part of my cottons easy to get to and away from any amount of light that would fade them.  

      Work needs done outside to set and level the timbers that will support the wood shop building, I want that job done so the building can be delivered.  And once that floor has been painted and given 72 hours of drying time, I start moving saws and tools and such out to it and gain back some house space, and do a lot of cleaning.  Another play area for me to put funds into, and again, an investment in my quality of life.

The sewing space.

K     I need a place to sew, to create, to dream more than I need a living room, cable tv, a significant man in my life and since 8/2004 I have been working to create a great sewing space in this old house.  That dream, my needs and a lot of money and hard work have gone into turning all that 'lost' space below the roof rafters and above the ceiling joices into not just more living space but my sewing studio.

    That first winter here was cold, but I kept replacing the plastic over the never installed north attic vent opening and my tax refund that spring put 3 windows into that space, 2 in the north end and the 3rd in the south. So, in the early spring of 2005 my attic expansion began and today the sewing desk became a reality and the sewing machines are ready to get back to doing what they do well.  A lot of small stuff yet to be done, a lot of fabric and other things yet to be put away but I finally have my studio.

     And I have a lot of tools yet to pick up and the remainder of that attic area to get finished, next is the south retreat, my current sleeping area, I will sleep in the servant's bed, tucked under the east eaves of my attic sewing studio while the south end is a work area.

     Between the 2 ends is the rather small but framed and wiring partially done future bathroom, current storage area, it might be several years before that little space is a real bathroom but the space is started.  And in the meantime, Ben and sometimes Jake will help me get the south retreat done and the timbers settled and level for the small work shop building I spent this year's federal tax refund on.  My house will feel bigger with the tools living in their own building and my radial arm saw will be easier to use out in a little wood shop than it is in my living room.

  Plans for a life beyond working in a meat packing plant, plans for me to be able to like my life, have things I enjoy doing every day, days to look forward to and places set up for me to create and build what matters to me, and it fix and repair an occasional antique, a place for the much loved bike and scooter to hide from winter weather and hopefully, down the road, a place for solar cells on a south roof to produce renewable energy and make my carbon footprint a bit smaller.

  Time for bed and another week of earning my living, paying my share of taxes and bills and being just another grain of sand in this big planet I live on.

The cost of cars....

      Well, my purchase price was reasonable for the age and condition of the neon, but now I get to keep investing money, it started with insurance before I even drove the car out of the parking lot.  Then there are the sun shade, the seat covers, the license plate frames, and today the cost of title transfer and license plates, oh, and sales tax.

     Monday the car visits Fisher Automotive, oil change, new tires, if they are in, and brake work, which might just be air in the lines but with my luck, it will be more expensive.  Getting a security key from the Dodge dealership and having that programmed will run me around $170+, but I can send Ben to Jacksonville with the car and not miss work, I sure need that paycheck.  I did order more keys and key fobs from Amazon, but it takes 2 'original' or dealer programmed keys to clone more keys.

     I want to order custom covers for the dash and back deck, or that black interior will really show sun damage here fast.  I will make the back seat cover, am sure I have plenty of fabric for that job.  And I bought a pack of cheap CDs and made the car some music disks.  

     My slush funds savings had over $3800 before buying this car, it is now down to just over $1200.  So, I have spent or invested a lot of money in the car and a bit in the house, lighting in the sewing area, a new, on sale coat for me.  And this does not cover that dealer key and programming it, or the visit at Fisher Automotive.  

     But I do need transportation and I do want something that is more space than my truck, more dry cargo area than my truck and I can afford this car and to have my truck repaired.  I will put my tax refund to good use on the truck repair costs, and other needs.  My wish list for that tax refund had stayed small and now that I bought the neon, it will stay very small.

     And it has been too cold to play with my new car, so I hope to have it warm up a bit and get the seat covers on, the license plates on, start the car and get it turned around, and give Ben a chance to at least sit in it.

     Now, it is time to head for bed, know I get to go to work tomorrow and will again turn down the chance to go home and have a day off, JBS is having our supervisors keep the manning very tight, both Monday and Tuesday someone in our area has gone home soon after start up.  And I will keep saying no, I now have a truck in the shop with a big repair bill and a used car that needs tired and brake work before I can start driving it safely...

Well, at least I got the photo up on my blog.

     But none of the fun stuff, like the brakes are way, way to soft and not very responsive for my liking, the tires look ok but I want far better road gripping tread on tires so they will be replaced also.  The interior is very clean and in very good shape but black, so I will be doing beige or tan seat covers, back deck and front dash cover or the critter will cook here with no garage or car port.  I picked it up off Craig'sList, about as soon as the seller posted it, I was awake and going o try and copy/paste the BMW convertible I was drooling over to share with my pal Mike Ferrin and up pops this for sale car, priced at $1800, good buy at the condition the car is in, below KBB value for private sale.

  The weather looked to get ugly by evening so Ben and I headed out early and it was getting ugly by the time we made it to the PizzaHut meeting place in Lincoln IL.  Met the seller, but not his wife, in their bigger vehicle, with the kids and parked a very safe distance from the little red car.  Very safety smart family. I liked that. But the roads coming home got worse and worse long before we found our way back to Wall St. and parked both the little red car and Jake's jeep.

  Now, I start spending money, title transfer fee, sales tax, current registration, renew the plates on my old truck also, 1 stop spending into the state revenue coffers.  That will be Tuesday.  The car only had 1 key and it is chipped security key, and 1 key fob, so that is a call to the dealership in J-vile to hopefully order a couple correct, chipped, expensive keys and another key fob.  Monday's 'car is costing me money' thing.  And stop by Fisher Automotive to set up appointment about those squishey brakes I do not like, an oil change and please order correct for the car tires with far more road gripping tread for my driving security.

  I will be moving funds from slush funds to support this new to me car, and that will include seat covers, custom dash and back deck covers, I already picked up a steering wheel cover so that is done.  And since the car has a CD player, I need to make some car CDs and get some sort of small storage bin that will fit in that between the seats storage critter.  The back seat will need a cover, I will pull out fabrics and make that. 

     And the truck will still get repaired and come home to be the old house and other jobs truck and the back up for the Back Up,   Buying this car, now, I feel, is a good decision but I know it eats into my hobby/wood/bike building funds.  So, I plan to start out taking good care of this purchase, do have insurance on it, did that at PizzaHut, after paying for the car and while sharing a meal with Ben.  It will impact doll spending funds but the truck has already done that.

     It will not impact my on going old house project, which has ceiling paint drying with wall paint going on soon.  I will cry about the cost and arrange to have 4 sheets of drywall delivered from my 'up the street' place of business, where I also have a paid in full account.  They will deliver, and the fee is not that bad, the cost per sheet is higher than buying it out of town but the truck down did that in and it is either my attic job is on hold for a month or more or I get the needed drywall here in town.  

     A month delay is not workable if I am to remain sane and live in this house.  My sleeping area in the attic is a disaster, I have no sewing area, I have stuff everywhere, dolls are packed up once again and the attic is drafty, or draftier than it will be once all the drywall and osb is installed, seams done, a bit of foam in a can used to seal up some drafts.  And it will be cleaner, better organized and way past time I got that work done.

     Ben is my labor while he is living here, not always the best at getting with the needed work but he does a good job, just drags things out and doesn't put in a lot of work time when he could.  Progress is progress, and he lives here, I am supporting him and he is my 'free' labor for now.

   So, a nice car to drive once again and not bad on gas, I will flag the antenna so I can find it, that will take some time, once I am driving it to work, to recognize my own car.  

New to me car, and old house progress.

Changes in spending plans here

     The old truck has developed huge transmission issues that will be very costly to fix, still cheaper and better choice than a different vehicle, at least at this time, a key and note in the box for my mechanic, the loan of a vehicle from son Jake and I will get by until the truck is fixed and home.

     The old house will still make some progress on improvements, the north end of the attic right now, and I will continue with plans for the hobby shop building I sent plans to builder for and have funds set aside to pay for.

     I am ok with keeping the truck, and can afford that easier than I can afford to buy another used vehicle at this time.  But I will keep working toward the goal of being able to buy new, under good warranty in the future, 3-5 years down my road.

     My spending was done and I was on my way home when the transmission went out, Ben and Jake came to my rescue so my building supplies are home, the truck is at the shop and my 2 paid days off are going ok.  It will give me back part of that blasted credit debt I just paid down, but I can manage that, and I will gladly work any offered overtime, still be able to have money going into 401 and savings, so will manage here.

     It does stop me from buying any dolls I really don't need at this time, or ordering any yarns I don't need right now, but it will not hugely re-order my little life here.  And I can happily keep driving that old truck for years, hauling the building supplies, getting me to work and such, and know I will be running that Metro or that Rebel once the warm weather returns.

     But, maybe I will just tuck back into bed for a nap this very early morning and be glad I have a home, food, a job and a life that really does work for me.

401K moved, 1 pension locked, the other cashed outn

     And that cash out has paid down credit, arranged for a hobby building to be built and set on my site, has bought some goodies, filled the cupboards, and given me some additional financial stability for my long term future.
     That long, hard battle to recover enough to return to work, that daily battle with pain and people to be at work, to do the job to the best of my ability, the change of jobs, in plant, and the continued battle to rebuild my life, to stay employed is why I had that cash out oppertunity and I do appreciate it and know I did earn it.
     And I have again moved, in plant, to another job, qualified and now own that easier on my aging body, and I will continue to earn my living, continue to build that 401 stuff, pay into the tax system, work down my debt load, pay down my mortgage.  I will slowly keep working on old house repairs, and slowly work on chasing some of my silly dreams.
     The hobby building will give my wood shop tools a home, and in time, wiring so they run without me needing extension cords and they will give my scooter and my Rebel a dry winter home that is not inside my house.
     I have worked hard to get here, where I am right now, with a really good credit rating, with a job I should be able to work long term and might even pick up some daily overtime, that remains to be seen and I can live without that extra money, but know my savings and 401 are on a % so the more I earn, the more they get each week.
     The medical bills should be all paid off this month, and I will be very glad to see those behind me, the dental appointment is done and no additional costs there, the optical appointment has been done and I now have a paid for smart phone with a year of paid for service.  Small things but things that matter in my small world.
     I paid $1000 on my mortgage principal this week, and have been paying a bit extra on each payment.  That will continue and the tax refund might allow me to pay another $1000 or so on that principal,  I know it is not a big loan but I want get it paid down all I can while I am working.
     And I start every day counting my blessings and end my days counting my many blessings.

Moving on, forgiving and people that matter

     There are very few people around now that knew me when I was a child, a young woman, growing up.  Oh, there are plenty of people still living but not that I have any contact with.  I have moved too much, gone so far away, not come back 'home' often enough to keep that contact going.
     So, the few that do exist and are, in some way, a part of my life now really do matter, even if there has become issues that have pushed us farther apart.
     I wish I had tucked my pride and ego into my back pocket and said those words I had ready, for years, I forgive, I even do understand some of why and how and all that stuff, you matter, ya, the truth mattered a lot then, but you still mattered more then and do now.
     Michael, I have known you since I was 16, and cared, built you and your life into some magical 'he got it right, did it right' think in my head.  Thought of you when I was at low points and remembered you saw something special in me, when no one else did, that you cared and thought me worth caring about when it seemed that no one else did, and that mattered, that made a huge difference in my getting through those bad, hard, rough times.
     Six years ago, a bit more, we got back in touch, much older, far from where we were when we were young, and a long way from the very young people we were back then.  And a choice I made to go to town, on my day off, a choice someone else made, and my world, my life, my future changed when that Buick crossed the center line and smashed hard into the front of my little red, much loved truck.
     My life changed, my world became a pain filled nightmare that seemed to have no end, but you were there, you were light and comfort and solid ground.  When I needed dreams of a good future on the other side of a long and pain filled healing, you helped me build those dreams, helped me get through that long hard first months.
     But, you also deceived me, lied to me about financial issues, stupid, ya, easy for me to find out, ya, damn, the little things you didn't know about the woman I had grown into.  Like, I do my own taxes, like,  I think and run financial things in my head.    
      I thought a lot about you, about the time I spent with you during my accident recovery and what a big and valuable part of my recovery that time, and you were.  About the reasons we 'fell out' and that I missed you, but know our lives, for many reasons, both big and small were heading in different directions.  I can't cry and grieve over that, it would not change any of the past, nor would it build a road to the future.
     As I go through the minutes and hours of my quiet little life, my work shift, my home time, my thoughts and prayers often are for you, with you and knowing that I am, again, finding ways to let you go, to accept that I will never make it back west to see you and talk with you, laugh with you, get a big hug from you, say so many things that matter.
     Know that you matter, know that I am working hard to keep my life on a workable track, my finances out of the red, my old house making progress.  Know that I am a better person for our friendship, for the time I have known you and spent with you.  I pray for your healing, and I pray for all of us to cope, and accept what God and life hand to us, and know that the prognosis for your future is not bright and rosy.
     I miss you, my friend, and I pray for you.
    

Cell phone entertainment

     I have used prepaid cell service for almost 13 years, cheap, poor quality phones and very low budget costs for the phone and service.  And it has worked and seems to keep working, not those phones, I have no idea how many cheap cell phones I have gone through in those years, about 2 years per phone or so would be my guess and very low budget, and low quality.

     So, more than a year ago I ditched the land line, the lousy quality of that service that kept getting more and more costly and the very poor internet service I also was paying for with that land line.  I went to my local cable company for JUST internet service, no tv service, no cell service and no phone service, because I just did not need them.  And I still do not.

     But I have decided I do want a good quality unlocked, will work with my current prepaid cell service that runs me around $200-225/year.  And, normal for me on such purchases, I started looking at unlocked cell phones, both on line and at Best Buys and our local Walmart, not saying those stores sell or promote those unlocked phones but I knew I could often find that same phone, unlocked for sale on line, but I could see, touch, handle that display phone in the store.

     And I Googled for reviews, was entertained by 'destroy the phone' videos, Motorola droid Turbo 2 won that contest hands down, and I liked the 1 I saw in the store, but for ram, hard drive and costs, it fell short on the first 2 and ran high on the last one. But I still liked the video and how tough that phone is.  But I am not buying, it is too over priced, it has too little a hard drive and it doesn't have as much ram as I would like. 

  So, having finally made the decision of which phone I wanted, which brand, model and so forth, I then went shopping for where was the best place to buy this item.  Which ended up being from the maker, gee, that works for me, and no, I am not buying Apple.  I wanted android based and also a phone that there was a jailbreak or re-rooting out there already.  I will be wanting rid of all that bloat ware, apps I have no use for that come pre-installed and will not leave without re-rooting.  Apple calls that jail breaking and has actually gotten a law passed so it really is illegal to remove the original operating system, software, and install a custom one.  Some companies void a warranty for that and some say 'have fun' and think if developers can make improvements and on their devices, all the better, works well for Google and their Nexus line, but I am not buying a Nexus phone either.  

     But Asus made the Nexus 7 and they make great quality tech things, including cell phones, my new phone will be 128G, 4G ram, cool, purple back, good price which includes a screen protector and case.  My coming phone is the Asus ZenFone 2, and I will be pleased when it gets here and once it is all set up.

     But putting it on my credit card proved another entertainment.  My credit rating is just at the low side of excellent, and I am not buried in debt, and have several major credit cards, 2 of which are from my very big, nationwide bank, as opposed to my local, has my house loan and safety deposit box bank.  So, I thought, as it is the easiest of my credit cards to make payments on, I would use that bank plastic, the cards that live tucked away and rarely get used.  And the order would not go through, it was refused by the credit card,  strange, I thought and tried again, but again that automatic system refused the charge, but they also sent me fraud alerts....about 3 of them that I then got to deal with.  I got out another credit card, which gladly accepted the charge, so the order did get placed and I did deal with the fraud alerts, Yes, that was really me, yes I really was trying to place that order.....

     Last night I was annoyed, it made a purchase a real hassle, and a trip up and down stairs several times, which hurts, with that big black dog helping or hindering, which is another hassle at times.   And I know the big hassle comes when that phone arrives and I battle setting it up, getting my service changed to that new phone, which, like the current cell phone, will live in the kitchen most of the time, it the case, being quiet.  And I know I will probably end up re-rooting that new phone, but not right away, but I will probably be setting up the needed filed for that re-root and tweak stuff in my laptop in the next few days so it is handy when I am fed up with those blasted not needed, not wanted, in my way apps that come pre-installed.

     Companies like Amazon, EBay, Twitter and so forth actually pay to have those apps, their apps pre installed and not removable in that new phone, and most people either use them or ignore them but I get in a snit fast when they take up MY space in MY device I paid for, when they want to download their updates for something I have NO need or want in MY device.....  And as much as I love my Apple devices, that is an issue I have with them and their pre-installed apps, I did discover I can tuck some into a 'folder' and I did all I could to keep them inactive and from wanting updates or anything else.

     But I want android for a smart phone, and a BIG amount of data space.....and that means I want rid of anything I have no use for, like sports, or financial, I can download and install the apps I want, buy an app if it suits me...  And I am glad my credit cards attached to my bank where my paycheck goes every week are so well screened...but it was an annoyance last night.

Changing employers

     Thursday was the last production day for Cargill Meat Solutions, Monday we go to work for JBS and an hour later than our normal start time.  I have done some of the needed stuff with my Cargill Pension and with my 401K plans so at least that is started.
     Yesterday I picked up my new Arizona boot, that brace I wear.  The new one is full base, not the full foot I expected and that had to be cut back some and the tongue of the brace was way too wide so Hanger changed that and the brace and I went to walk in the Mall and see if there were any fit/pain issues that developed with walking.  I did ok and picked up some bright pink laces for it.
     We are having a cool and wet weekend so far, I am hiding in my attic sewing space and did get another doll dress done.  Tomorrow I will work on making a new bodice pattern for my Wiggs Nelly body and a dress for Laryssa, probably the fall fabric I picked up at JoAnn's Friday.  I might try and sell some of my work at the doll convention in St. Louis I am attending in 2 weeks.  But for now, I am working with making some pattern pieces that will allow me to create several styles for the dolls.
     I worked with updating the music in my devices last weekend and with the new laptop to remove Microsoft apps I did not want and to set some things to suit me.  Now, all the removable memory is in the laptop bag except the portable drive, and I am working on getting my bookmarks and stuff set up, a little at a time. but
     I did go to Best Buy while I was in town and looked at a lot of things there, the newest iPad is not in stock yet, the Pro which is bigger than I want, I like my Nexus 7, and I like my iPad 3, but am looking to replace it with the newest version in the same size, with bigger hard drive.  I had hoped to see a new release in that 'classic' or original size but they released another mini and the Pro.  I like the physical size I have but know with my luck Apple will put out a newer and better version within 2 months of my buying the most current model out.
    But life here is quiet, or is most of the time, Shadow whines, the parrots do their loud and annoying noises, especially if I try and use the phone but life is calm and I am content.   The bill are getting paid on time,, there is food in the house and no one is driving me crazy.
     I did check my credit rating on line tonight and it is excellent, and I have worked to get it there.  I am hoping to make good progress on paying down the credit debt this winter and on the attic work.  It would be nice to get all the drywall up in both the north sewing area and the south retreat area. 
     Not a lot to say, I work, and do dishes, cook some, read, knit and sew, and like the quiet life and not having a dating relationship.  It has been years now since I had a significant relationship, some dating that never got very important since Miguel returned to Mexico and for close to 2 years now, I have not even been dating. 
     I do think or day dream about men from the past, long ago past, and hope they have or had a good life, it is ok to build day dreams while I work, makes the time and job go faster but I know it is jut silly entertainment to get through the work shift.  I am not the scared and messed up young woman I was back then, back in South Carolina, and I am so glad I made it to where I am now with so little damage.  It took me a very long time to become capable or running my own life, of knowing I was capable of far more than anyone ever believed I could do or become. 
     I like this very independent and stable me, and I work hard to be this woman I have become.  And I paid the price for all those hard lessons.  I know others don't understand, not a problem, it is not their life, it is mine and I am doing just fine taking care of it MY way.
     I am looking forward to the adjustment to a new company in the same plant, doing the same job, at least for now.  I know we will keep fighting with the old scald tank and the old dehair machine but maybe there will be more effort to keep the people who should monitor those things to be doing their job so we have less problems with our jobs down the line but I don't expect any huge changes or improvements any time soon.
    Now, back to the book I am reading and think about getting to bed,

My Sunday progress

     I got with the house cleaning, some was done upstairs yesterday but today I worked in the downstairs bedroom and hauled out 3 bags to the trash, the small book shelves belonging to Jake are now out of there and stored out if my way, the radial arm saw is clean and I used it this weekend to cut the wood bases for the doll clothing racks that will be my presentation at the doll club meeting this next Sunday.  The belt sander and the band saw are back under the house, my big wood equipment moved to the living room when we worried about flooding and I am working on getting it back there or up for sale or donated, depending on what is is and why.

     I do have the radial arm saw up for sale now, posted on 2 Facebook groups for that, will see what happens.  I told Ben I am willing to consider turning that bedroom into a wood shop and winter bike garage if the saw does not sell at my very reasonable price.  I want to move down to the bedroom but I can really see me making a bike and play with wood area out of it for a few years also.  I know me.

     And I can finally get into the Cargill benefits site and register, I cannot pull up the pension plan information but at least the site will let me register.  The company is holding meetings for us this coming Tuesday for pension information and I will make the one after I get off work.  They actually have a 3 day schedule but since I need to start looking into what I can do and make a decision, based on what I feel is my best long term choice, the sooner I have information, the sooner I can start some number crunching and shoving and look at the long term effect of each choice I will have so I can hopefully choose the one that has the best chance of making my long term life better.

     I will be able to roll over my 401K plans, and hope to take the 2 pre tax ones and combine them.  I do not want to see the smaller 1 cashed out, with the taxes and penalty that goes with that choice if it can be put with the the other 1 and keep growing.

     And I might see the Kaye Wiggs doll that I paid for and preordered this past January with some of my tax refund some time this month.  I had thought I might get some sewing done for her but have not had the time this weekend.  But my sewing space is much closer to being a usable area once again and that is a huge step in the right direction.

     The current socks are for Ben, his red yarn from last tax refund yarn stash buy and I am to the heels on both, 1 has the heel picked up and ready to work and I hope before I go to bed to get the second 1 to that place but it will probably be tomorrow or later.

that new Laptop

     Well, I finally made a decision and ordered direct from Toshiba, and the shipment got tangled in a customs snag but finally came.  And I am starting to add my favorite web sites, have to move my music to iTunes still but at least I have started on the set up.
     Cargill is still doing the change over with JBS, our soon to be new owner, it should be final by the end of next month.  I do not expect huge change for most of us in production, but we will have some changes, just no idea what they will be.
     Here, at home, it is wind down time, the Fall Festival at Clayville is done, and now we have Fall Festival in town, and get ready for winter.  I need to do some outside clean up still, mow again and so forth.  It will soon be time to pull the batteries from the bike and scooter and get covers on them for the winter but the weather is still nice enough to ride some.
     I need to get clean up done here in the house also, and both Ben and Jake are to clean up and get their stuff out of my living spaces, no more computer parts, no more scattered papers and so forth, books.  I need to be able to clean and I need to be able to start tearing down the damaged ceiling tiles so they can be replaced and then the walls repaired and painted.  I really want to get moved back down to my bedroom this winter or early spring.
     But, for the most part, my life here is calm and quiet, the house has not made a lot of progress this summer but it has made some.  And I need to start cleaning out unwanted stuff and junk, sorting and making order out of my chaos upstairs.  And I need to keep a tighter budget here, work harder on paying down my debt load, using my credit wiser or Not At All.
      I do like my life, not dating works well for me, and I like how my life is working out, the more I do not date, the more I like who I am and what I am doing with my life.

Waiting on the new computer

     I did a lot of looking on line, some looking at stores locally and stuck with Toshiba, and ordered 1 from their daily special.  It is already in shipping, and hopefully will be here by the end of this week.  And I plan to strip out some of the installed software before running it very long.  I will get rid of the trial version of the anti-virius software and Windows Office stuff, I will get some other version for my office type software needs, not the bloody new subscription service that wants paid every month and then costs a fortune.

     And I am not buying any new dolls, just looking and seeing what is going on.  I did put the website I love for doll knitting up on the groups, and I finally shook all the garbage and dirt out of my bucket of flax seed, that job has needed finished for more than a year.  And I had a nice time at the company picnic.  So, my day off has been good.  And my work week will be really great.

     And my sons will work on their mess here or see it going out in the trash.  The clock is ticking....they have until the end of the first weekend in October. Then I clear out and clean up my home, my way and they can live with the results of that.  I need to start working on the downstairs bedroom so I can get moved back down to MY bedroom and that means getting stuff out of my way first, both in the living room and in the only bedroom this house really has.

    And now to get ready and head to bed, know I will have a long day tomorrow.

The new Apple releases... Not what I want, cry cry.

     Apple released new phones, a new AppleTV, and a bigger iPad Pro.  Not a new iPad, or the iPad that I have, size wise.  Mine is generation 3, and gen 6 came out last fall, so I hoped to see a new iPad classic this time too.

     But I can wait, the 1 I have works well, I just like new and better some times.  And I am bombing for bugs every week right now, because 1 of my sons managed to bring bedbugs home from somewhere he was visiting.  He did not let me know, or clearly tell me so the infestation had some time to multiply and be on both levels.  So, I am cleaning and bombing on the weekends and irritated about all the stuff in this house, creating a mess, that does not belong to me.  I am NOT willing to buy a storage building to store things, my bikes, maybe, but not stuff that is not mine.

     But my aging laptop now has keyboard issues, it is close to 7 years old now, and I have been looking at laptops, mostly on line, to shop for a new laptop.  I cannot compare laptops in stores, no one seems able to give me information on what is inside that shell, how can I compare them if I don't know what those parts are.  And looking on line has issues, some sites are easy to sort through and pull up info so I can do some comparing.  But I finally decided on another Toshiba, on sale and ordered it, with warranty for 2 years.  It should ship next week and then once here, I will be learning to deal with Windows 10, moving want I want and need from the old laptop that Ben can then do what he pleases, as long as he deals with his stuff here, like the parts and pieces of electronics he has managed to build up in my house.

     My house is a mess, and will stay that way as long as I am bombing for bugs, and that adds to my feeling stressed and unsettled in my own home.  I know it will improve, I plan to give the boys both a time limit to deal with their stuff here and if it is not cleaned up, boxed and stored under the house, I will be dealing with it my way.  I need to bomb a couple more times, at least, then put my attic area back in order.  

     I have never had to deal with a bug infestation, much less something as small and nasty as bedbugs, so that upsets me also.  I stress and fret and get unhappy over small things now, that before the car accident, might not have bothered me so much.  The plant is changing owners, so work has stress that is not usually there but I know that will settle in time, and I know I will get my house back in better order, and also deal with the boys and their mess.

      But the world is not a bad place, it gets unsettled now and then but it will calm down in time, I just have to ride it out.

Apple whine, old house gripes.

     I keep looking for anything on line about Apple and a new iPad, it getting that time of the year and early next month we are hearing a new iPhone will be out.  Not that I am really complaining about my iPad, 3rd gen, battery went bad and I have a new refurbished one in exchange, along with some money, and it works great, I have case, stand, cords, but I have had this model for 3+ years so am dreaming of an upgrade.  I don't have the funds so it would add to the debt load unless I wait unti tax refund time, but I can drool.

     And I am looking at new bed frames and dreaming about moving downstairs, back into my bedroom.  And that is going to stay a dream, with the room being storage for my sons, unless I buy a storage building or demand/force things.  

     The ceiling still needs repairs, the walls need some repairs and I want to reprint the room, but I am looking at beds and wanting to be back downstairs, it has been 3 years since I moved up to the unfinished attic area.  That space has made progress, but the futon I sleep on is not designed for a long term bed, and the huge dog takes up a lot of it.  And my bladder thinks it is a long way downstairs some times.

     So, maybe instead of saving up for that bed, I need to be looking and pricing storage buildings, looking at long term, something that I can store garden/yard tools, the mower and the bikes in, at least once Jake moves far enough away to move his things.  I don't need a big building, and can always use it, as I don't have much storage here and it would be nice to have a place for the mower and winter storage for the bikes, so I will start looking and thinking about that.  It is the only peaceful way I can gain back my downstairs bedroom in the next year.

     And I am getting my work brace, support boot replaced, see my orthopedic guy tomorrow, and I hope he is very pleased with how foot and I have progressed, he has not seen us for close to 5 years, at least.  

     JBS is starting interview process for our plant supervisors, so that is a step closer to the changeover.  I am not dancing for joy about the sale of our pork division but it is not our decision, we keep our jobs, and that is what matters most for me right now.  Some things will change, and I am hearing gossip about that, uniforms instead of our own clothes with white frock or shirt provided by the company, a few other things.

     It is rag weed season and I am taking Zertec again this year.  It worked well for me last year, but was on sale so the price is going to make me cry, $20/30 days, and I can expect to need 3 months worth of tiny white pills, but they work, the side effects are not as bad as script stuff, no messing with doctors, which I hate doing here, Taylor Clinic does not meet my needs/demands/quality issues so I am again changing and hunting for better, smarter medical care.

     But other than small issues, which I can deal with, life here is good.  I am getting some much needed cleaning done here, and getting ready for winter, finances are tight but I keep putting into both bank savings and 401K plans, and those will roll over to the new employer's plans and keep growing, the stock market has taken a drop so that has dropped my investment funds some also but it will come back up, and I will keep putting in, and keep paying down debt load here.

    

Vacation and plans

     Like normal, my vacation week is here, and I thought, for some strange reason it was the 3rd week of this month.  So, I am not exactly prepared.
     I have 3 workshops planned at Clayville.org but since the first was yesterday, and I was there and somewhat prepared but no one showed up, I worked on weeding, hauling and then gathered dried bean pods to shell and put the dry beans in a jar for next year's planting, the not dry enough ones on a tray when I need to sort and put in storage jars next chance I get.
     Today's plans are for installing the support under the west side of my floor joices as the west sill plate is rotting away from the too high concrete pour, done many years ago, on the front porch.
     Since it is raining, that project is on hold but the 2x8 pressure treated lumber is marked for cutting, and I will start putting the floor jacks together, they are adjustable, 2 pieces and a long bolt to put together.  And I can put the plates on the 2x6 boards that will run below the joices for their support.  So, once it is dry enough to cut lumber outside, and I can start working, I will see if I can get my help to show up.  I will deal with the sill plate problem later, the first part is getting the support in and then start slowly raising that west side a very tiny bit at a time.
     I have hopes to run to Springfield on the Rebel tomorrow for some personal business I want done, and I hope to play a bit.  I know finances are tight, and I don’t have any amount of play money but I can afford gas in the Rebel and a meal out. 
     And I will get the lumber for today's project set up so the job goes faster.  The boys have been here, and will be back later. 
     Shadow thinks he is neglected and is pestering me, whining and being a brat.  I don't think rainy days suit him, nor does my using the laptop in the living room, knitting, eating, or anything else.