well, to start I corrected my birthdate here..I am really not 253, and not born in 1756..not sure how I made that error..but it hits me funny today.
I actually did get a lot more sleep, nice change. And today the phone calls have been medical, my specialist office about my surgery, time is moved up, the hospital with my pre-registration, a lot I can do by phone and make the very early morning very easy for me...and Nancy. I will have Ben take me instead of her hauling out so early, but let her know how we are doing. Not am I more comfortable with Ben as my anchor going under and coming out of anasthetic, Mike is more comfortable with knowing Ben is there and has the cell phone to call him off and on and keep that man so far away in close touch with what is happening.
I managed to get a load of clothes into the washer and even into the dryer. Was a challenge to get my walker close enough to the dryer and had to use something to push the on button as it was out of reach but the clean clothes are drying! I might even tackle the dishes. The kitchen condition really upsets and stresses me...know Ben is a lazy slob and know nagging him upsets and stresses me as much or more than the mess in my kitchen.
I am worried about finances, Darrell called and I mentioned it and his comment was go get lawyer...God, how I hate that sort of Stupid...
I know there is disability pay coming to me, I know I am keeping up on my end of paperwork but things take time..including disability pay...
I know we have food and a roof and I am not running in the red yet. Yes, I have bills I want paid, hate to not have the city water and sewer paid in a timely manor..need to call them today and let them know the problem..hate that too, is hard blow to my pride.
I know, it shouldn't be, but it's like a direct hit to my independence and self suffeciency, my strength...being able to pay my bills and pay them on time, have worked hard to have that, it matters to me, it is a part of WHO I am...so not being able to have them paid and paid ON time or early, really psycologically hurts me..that's just a part of who I am..
it will get better, I know some of that is just me stressing about what I can stress about...but still, it would be nice to get something from somewhere that assured me of income while I am unable to work, due to no fault of my own.
May Day, Bealtaine, The Start of Summer!
1 year ago
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