And I know the rains are needed, and it is not cold, I have a dry roof and so can sit on my dormer landing and watch the rain and the birds in my back yard/lawn. The grass is really growing, along with the weeds but I have started clean up, the plum tees are almost dead so they come out this spring and I need to get the pampas grass cut back down to the ground before the new growth is coming up.
Jake turns 24 today, he is having a wet work day at the area live stock sale and I have split pea soup on for him and will make corn bread, both foods he likes and will be nice to come home to a meal waiting, no matter how late he has to work.
I did have windows open up in the attic but they are closed now and the box fan going to move the air about some, both baseboard heaters are shut off now and heat downstairs needs turned down to 70, it has been at 72 all winter.
Current socks are for me and getting close to done, working on Jake's sweater and will have a lot of sock yarn left from that once I am done, I got a bit carried away with calculations and so ordered about double what it will take. good thing it is sock yarns we will enjoy, think Jake will have several pair of those socks.
Working on scheduling my vacation days for the coming 'year' at work, runs from June 1 to May 31 and I have 24 or 25 days total and have turned in forms for 10 of those days but have not heard back if all the dates are ok and on the book. I need to schedule at least 10 more and then have 4-5 free to use as needed.
I did schedule 1 for my July mammogram appointment and should plan for the pap smear in January as it is already scheduled.
Little boxes for the doll club event are done and I have that Friday off so can help with the set up stuff, am looking forward to the event but do not plan much if any spending, I need to keep finances tight here so I can meet all my expenses and still find some funds for more drywall.
I do think what Jake and I got done is an improvement and will help with the utility costs plus help keep the attic spaces easier to keep clean and it does look better.
I need to get both the scooters going, new one needs a new battery, I let that freeze, lazy and thought I could get it later. And the other needs new fuel lines and the carb taken off and cleaned, some new parts put in, can thank a man for some of those problems but instead just moved my bikes and book and such to my place and covered the older one. I need a cover for the new scooter and that is on the list of stuff that needs funds too.
Working on some of my 'head issues' here, less stress now that Ben has moved out and a much quieter house and easier to keep clean, Jake mentioned it is easier to keep food in the house and less cost. Hopefully my finances will start getting in better order too, I have less depression spending when I have less stress and having that almost 28 year old son here, living off me, bringing his pot into my house and thinking I won't find out, adding to the mess and not helping enough with the cleaning, ya, stuff that adds to stress.
Jake is missing his company some but doesn't want the pot in his life and he doesn't want to be supporting his older brother who is too lazy to work.
Hard, but part of the problem and not of my doing, and I can't fix it. It is time for both Jake and I to step back and work on our own lives and our own problems. Ben will have to find his own road and his own way, not something we can do for him and the longer we help carry his weight, the longer he will avoid supporting himself long term, or living under a bridge or in a box. People do have the right to make that choice and I will let them live with the choices they make, including the bad ones.
There is a limit to the charity I am willing to do in this world, and supporting adults who are capable of supporting themselves is not a charity I donate to for very long.
May Day, Bealtaine, The Start of Summer!
1 year ago
1 comment:
Good mom and good brother! It is hard to let family struggle but helping them is not solving the problem. People think that pot is such a light weight drug and have no idea at the havoc it causes....dissolves ambition, plans,sex....not my idea of a light weight habit.
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