My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday and a 3 day weekend coming

Today is cool and gray but I will have pulled pork for lunch, it went into the slow cooker after work so I just need to run get some bread and salad stuff to go with it, I can't find the Aspercream stuff I know I own, it should be somewhere in this house and my hands would greatly appreciate it.
The flower beds will get attention this long weekend off and I hope to spend some time working with my vintage motorcycles and at the library being free labor. 
Last night the parking lot at Wal-mart had more than the usual number of semi tractors and my thoughts went west to a man there and time 2 years past.  Dreams and a hard crash into reality for both of us, it's the real world we have to live in, but those dreams helped get me through some of the hardest days of that very long accident recovery.
I am doing far better physically than was expected, I have worked hard for all that recovery and there is a long list of what I can never do, but I am dealing better with that and with finding ways to accept the limits my body now has.
I just can't do as much as I did in the past so I won't have a garden for now but will work on the planting beds and lawn, would be nice to have fewer weeds and more grass for a lawn, would be nice to get my planting beds to look better so that will get attention instead of trying to divide my time and energy between the weeding and watering those planting beds and a large vegetable garden.
And I don't feel guilty or as disappointed in myself if my body needs a rest day instead of getting done all the stuff I have on my 'to do' list.  Being able to stay at my job for as long as possible is the long goal here, to get my debt load paid off, the house paid off, work done on the house and paid for, and so if body says it needs rest, I am not being lazy or moody, I am letting my body get the needed rest so it can keep going to work  and doing the job I am being paid to do.
And there are getting to be more days I don't take anything for pain, so far they don't usually outnumber the days I do need something for pain but that is huge progress from this time last year.  And some times that over the counter pain med is for my hands or for a blasted sinus headache.  The tree pollens have been terribly high this spring and there are a couple I react to.
It's a quiet life for the most part, work, time with the man I date, the library and friends there, books and my small corner of the world but I am ok with it.  I know I made the right choices when it really mattered, have worked hard to correct the poor/wrong/stupid choices from the past but I don't regret the dreams.
I will admit that I miss the friendship I felt I had with Mike, but know it can't be fixed.
For now, I will work on what I do have here, and that means getting something to go with that pulled pork I have in the slow cooker waiting for me today.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Vacation days

It seems I have 8 vacation days to use up in the next 6 weeks, and then we start over again.  And several others in our small dept. have vacation time to get used also so we've been plotting it out on the calendar,.
With only 5 of us we do have to plan and work with each other for that vacation time to work smoothly and to get along.
It also explains why I have worked 4 weeks now with cracked bones in my left wrist, we have 4 weeks of someone on vacation and getting the arm in a cast and not working was not possible, and as the fall happened off work I only needed nursing to look at my arm, bandage the scraped areas and determine I could work.   I would not say we have the most competent medical personal in our plant.

I did manage to space out my days so I can use and enjoy them, hopefully catch up on the outside work needing done here and have some quality time with Larry also.

And as we are also starting to do our vacation days for next year, with a vacation year that goes from June 1 to May 31, I did some looking on the internet and planned for early 2013, like Good Friday, and the first event of the camping season at Clayville, and Friday of Memorial Weekend.   I also grabbed Friday of this coming Labor Day weekend, that is what calendars are for, looking ahead and planning ahead and with 20 days to use, and only 5 of them have to be taken in a group, I can spread them out better than I have this past year.

Most of our dept had put in some vacation slips before I started so I'm ok with the fact that not all are happy with my planning.  It's up to them to look and think about next spring as part of the coming vacation year and as it is not done by seniority, the first request for that date is the one that gets it.

With no vegetable garden here this year to deal with I hope to get the property looking better and have more quality play time with the man I date.  And less stress.   I also do not have a house with a leaking roof and a dishonest contractor to deal with and add to the problems and stress.

And with all that vacation time, I am taking the day we have small claims court off as 1 of my paid days.   I have not yet gotten a copy of any invoices for materials and labor break downs that we requested at the last court meeting, his lawyer is to have furnish that to us in a timely manor...gee, that has been a couple months now, wonder what happened to 'timely manor'.  And in the meantime I do make payments on a huge legal bill that I hope ends up going to the contractor, or at least in part.

Time to eat something for breakfast and then see if the dog and I can remove the spark plug from the mower, empty the oil out and make a 'parts run' so we can get the mower running and I can get some of the mowing done here.  Kid loves to be 'truck dog' and go for rides with me.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Working on Living

Tomorrow would have been my mother's 76th birthday, she passed away just over 13 years ago, my grandmom also passed away just before the start of April 20 years ago now.  So, I do look back at this time of year, at their lives and at what I got from them, that inside stuff.
Grandmom raised me most of my life so she was the bigger influence, my mother I got to know more as an adult but it was not the close relationship she had with my younger sisters.  She raised them, that was part of it, and my jealousy of that was some, and my being a living link and reminder of a past time she wanted to forget added to the mix.
But she taught me to sew and knit, she made me rip out poor quality work, mistakes and do it again until I got it right so I learned a lot that i use all the time from her.
Grandmom gave me my ethics and values and cooking lessons, cleaning lessons and gardening love.
I looked at the problems in my mother's life and what choices my Grandmom made to help guide my life, and to help me try and make better choices.
Now I draw on the strength they gave me to keep working on my life, to keep fighting for what is right, to keep liking my life and liking living my life, despite the challenges.
This time of year is not about eggs and bunnies and all that stuff for me, it's a time I look at the 2 strong women that gave me a lot of who I really am, their lives, their example and their guidance.  A time I look at both the positive and negative qualities of those women and look at who I am, what I do with my life and where I want to keep it going or what changes I need to make in that direction.
Spring is a time of renewal for me, and of renewing my direction and goals and beliefs.