My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Winter is Coming

     And not just in Game of Thrones, it seems to be hitting Illinois now too.  The wind chimes on the front porch sing all night, the wind howls and I am so glad to have done as much work as I have gotten done to make this old house more weather tight and energy effective.
     But life here is pretty good, I've been single for over 11 years now, have not been dating anyone for about 3 years, maybe longer, it just really doen't seem important.  I am really liking my life, who I am and what I am doing, most of the time.
      There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship, making that work, but I've really done badly at it and now, I'm 60, and I can enjoy the single life without feeling I owe it to someone to let them take up my very valuable off work time with their wants and needs and demands.
      Winter plans are for lowering debt, getting more interior work done here in the house and better order to my chaos, and plan for and save up for a vacation up to Canada, about 520 miles each direction, not counting all the play I do, for the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally, being held in London, Ontario Canada in late June.  I will need wet riding gear, a passport, a map of where all the yarn shops are between here and there I want to visit--  and my old truck, my new Vespa and I will, all by ourselves, make my very first trip out of the country, my very first real vacation.
      And I am still not happy with who our President elect is, or all the hate and anger and racism this long and ugly campaign season has brought out, or all the nasty attitudes it seems to have opened the doors to.  But I am vowing to stand up against such, every where and every time it rears it's ugly head, including at my place of work, a very racially mixed, immigrant heavy location, and that mix of people suits me well.
     And I am still battling with Windows 10 and Microsoft, and my silly iPad refuses to let me use my blogger app to post on either of my blogs.  But knitting is going nicely at the kitchen table while I use the iPad to watch Netflix and The Crown, my current knitting entertainment.
     I am considering my managing to escape several things to be a God given blessing, and I am now starting to remind myself to take my own advice-don't rise to the bait if you don't want to be the fish- especially when it comes to stuff on Facebook.
      Yes, it is a rather solitary and self centered life, but I am solitary by nature, most of the time, and I am paying for that self-centered life with my own hard work and earnings, which are mine, then, to do with as I see fit or want to.  I don't owe it to anyone else to make their life better, easier, nicer, happier and I don't expect them to do that for me either.
      If it suits me to do things for someone else, that is my right and my choice.  I do get to pick who I let into my small. personal life and time and who I will do things for, spend money on and so forth.  That again is my right, and being related by blood does not make any obligations.
       And now it's time to eat my breakfast and head to the plant for a 8+ hour Saturday once again.  

Sunday, November 06, 2016

Busy life

     I tried to start this several weeks ago on my iPad and had problems so nothing was posted.  Now I am trying again with my laptop but also chasing a doll sale on line, trying to clean up my attic north end, the sewing area, my current sleeping area and get started with finishing drywall work on the south end.
     I spent the summer playing when I was not at work, the old house got no work done, no doll sewing was done, not much knitting was worked on but I put about 3000 miles on 2 small motorcycles and really enjoyed my off work time.
     So, now that the plant is working 6 days a week, and bike riding season is about gone, I will try and deal with the attic disaster/mess, the south end not being a finished area, not enough time, hurting a lot and needing a place to sew.  Today is the start-and Ben is still living here o I do have help at hand, and I can afford any needed materials with all the overtime we are making!
     This old house is important to me, it's my home, my shelter from the weather, and from the world, my sanctuary from all the ugliness out there some days.  But, since I live here with just my parrots, dog and occasionally a son, and I don't have much company/visitors, it is easy to just put off or avoid all the work that needs done to have a weather tight, easier to keep clean, looks nicer in the eyes of others, home.
     So, this summer I put a lot of miles in riding, on my 2008 Rebel which I've owned 4 years now, and I traded my small Honda Metropolitan in for a Vespa LXV 150ie, which was new, fuel injected and runs like a dream.  We've spent the last 2260+ miles getting to know each other.
     I've gone on 2 different runs with people from the St. Louis MO area, both times to Hermann MO, the first was with people working for or who have also bought 'rides' from Moto Europa, the shop in St. Louis where I bought my LXV.  Much bigger, faster, more powerful bikes but I had a great ride and proved that little 150cc LXV could really and that I could ride.  The most recent run was with 30 DSG out of the St. Louis area, a scooter group.  And it was the coldest ride I have made, so I learned I could do that 57-67 degrees stuff but sure would dress warmer next time and my chaps would be on me, not at home.
     Now, it's November, the day is sunny and nice and I am staying home, the laundry is done, I am started working on the south end of the attic area and my little bed now has clean sheets and the quilt is on the bed, still not tidy or tucked in but at least that is started.
     And I will work on cleaning up and making some order here in the north sewing area so I can gt some needed sewing work done, before the doll club meeting and before the Doll Club Christmas party the very first Sunday in December, which is now less than a month from now.
     The Presidential election this year has become a very ugly campaign season, I have a lot of concerns about this election and who is running, neither candidate is a really good choice but 1 is a far worse choice than the other.  But the hate and ugly attitudes that have come out all over the country, including in my place of work have e wondering how we, as a nation, can recover and men those torn down fences and walls.  Hate, once turned loose, is very hard to get caged back up once again.  But I can refuse to be a part, and I can work to keep my heart and soul in good order, to avoid people filled with this ugly hate, racism and nasty attitudes.
     I have made some really poor, crappy, stupid choice in my life,and have worked hard to fix the mess and problems.  It has taken me a long hard walk in life to have this life I live, and I keep working to keep it the life I want and I like.  I keep a job and I keep my bills paid, My credit rating is good, not excellent but I can live with good credit.  I don't need excellent credit, and i am working on paying down that long term, high interest debt I have built up on those damn credit cards I have been too careless with.  My debt, my decisions and my job to pay them down and accept paying that money eating interest while I work those debts down.
      There are no words that really explain how I feel, where I am at with my life, and so I will just say that this life works well for me and I am content.  Or I am able to do what I want when it matters, I can afford what really matters to me and no one else runs my life or makes my decisions and I am not making decisions to make someone else happy.
     When I was a young woman I lived my life to make a young man happy, all decisions were based on what he wanted and what worked for him and what pleased him.  Today I can honestly say that he is part of why I can ride a motorcycle as well as I do.  Because he made me learn to ride the bike and not the brake.  His pushing me, his criticism made me learn a skill that I use and enjoy now and has others complimenting me on.  Now, he's a burned out, discontent, petty and lives a poor and miserable life.  His choices have created that life, and all the best of the man he was back when I was 17-20 are, as far as I can see, the parts he threw away or wasted.
     But the best of what he taught me is part of the good parts of me, of the woman I am, of the life I enjoy.  My choices, my decisions and my taking my life back from him and his influence and becoming smart enough to finally just stay away from him.  He's not around to watch and say, with pride, "I taught that gal to ride when we were both young and crazy."  That's a bit sad, but it's also how life goes, people need to be cared about, appreciated, important and when getting stoned is more important than a relationship with someone, in time, if they are smart, they go away and never come back.
     Gifts are sometimes the skills we help others learn, my life is so much richer from the skills someone cared enough to teach me, pushed me to learn, forced me to help them so I learned on the job.  I carry that with me, the memories, both good and bad, and I use those skills for so many things, from cooking to knitting to working on my own vehicles and my 'rides'.  I am a better person for those skills but some came at rather high prices and I spent a long hard time emotionally paying for those skills.
     Yes, I have sympathy for those with problems, but I know those problems had some help getting in their lives, choices, we just have to make choices, it's part of being humans, and you can't always see where that choice will lead you or what it might bring into your life.  But each of us has to work on our own roads and life, I can't live my children's lives, or the lives of their children.  I can't and sure don't want to live the lives my coworkers have.  It's not a shoe that fits me, and not what works for me, some have really solid, good lives, some don't.
     So, here I sit, the first drywall mud is on in the baseboard heater area, the fan is going, Ben helped me get up the plastic sheeting to close off the south attic area so drywall dust won't filter through the entire house, or at least make it harder for that to happen.  And I will keep the power off on the attic baseboard heaters until the 1 on the south end is back on that wall.  That means the drywall area finished, primed and painted.  Both heaters are on the same breaker so having 1 off the wall and not safely usable means having both shut off.  Yes, incentive for me to get off my lazy bum and get the work done today.  I don't have to do a huge area, but I will do the immediate area and do it correct and so it looks nice before that heater is attached where it belongs and the power back on.  I have a couple small plug in heaters and 1 is running now here on the north end, to keep this space tolerable for me to be in.