My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Friday, April 30, 2010

I am walking!!!

Have graduated to a cane and parked the that is progress. And in therapy, and have worked my head around the fact that my right foot will always be far wider than the left one. The heel bone pieces were seperated by a lot of fluid and since the bone pieces did not die, but lived and grew---they grew as the fluid and brusing left--and it was not possible to put all those little pieces back where they belonged. It works great with jig saw puzzles but not always possible with badly fractured bones. . . so the heel bone is far bigger now and odd shaped.
So, got a lot of shoes I will never be able to wear, or at least the right shoe will never fit again. But I am walking, and I am gaining on that ability to walk, balance myself, do normal living things.
I will probably never see a pain free day again, but I did order a pair of very wide steel toed work boots and when they come in, the shop will help me try to fit them to both feet, the normal one and the damaged one. If they can't fit, they ship them back and we see if we can come up with another style/size/brand that will work.
And the water meter is in, the landscaping is done, except for some mulch on the city strip I am working, and some sedum on the flowerbed where I had to lift plants and then re-set them.
It was a rough week or two as I emotionally dealt with the fact that I would never be able to fit into my shoes I already owned, that buying 'normal' shoes would never happen again, that I would be dealing with this accident and what it's done to me every time I needed new shoes, every time I wear something that shows my ankles and dresses and sandels..I don't know if I will ever feel 'ok' about it. But I cannot change it and I will not let it mess up my head very long.
I will plant my garden, and I will work my flower beds and I will get work boots that I can tolerate wearing and I will get back to work and do my job once again.
Popeye came and did the mowing for me Thursday/yesterday and this morning I raked stuff out of the pampas grass along the alley before I went to my therapy appointment.
Then when I got home I put on my orthapedically fitted very expensive sneakers and lifted another 4+ feet of turf and weeds from the city strip and planted it with those plants I got yesterday. Seems that Home Depot has perennials on sale and ad on the radio so I ran to Jacksonville and got $40 worth of plants to add to the ones I already had put in where the crew tore up installing the water meter and valve.
There's a lot of feet between the south end I did when the city replaced the fire hydrant and what I just put in but I have gained a few feet. It will take a few weeks for it to start looking good and some is annuals to help fill in for now but in a year or so I will start seeing what I want, a border strip that does not require mowning and won't need much watering by the time we are paying for that water by the gallon.

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Friday, April 16, 2010

13 weeks and still counting...

Saw my dr. on the 13th, no surgery at this time. I learn to walk again, get into therapy, start using cane instead of walker, and find some sort of shoes I can wear.
Ok, got the cane, am rarely using the walker, have 15 pair of shoes I can never again wear..and 1 pair of roller skates. The right foot is several centimeters wider at the heel than the left foot. Very small amount of that is swelling. The heel bone was spread out and now I adjust to what I have for a right foot.
Walking is creating a huge amount of pain, the heel is not even level so that means foot twists and puts strain on leg bone, knee, hip and even my back.
I will never have the old 'normal' back. No buying a pair of normal shoes, no expecting normal walking..not even sure what will be done about work boots but have cried over the shoe issue today.
I feel like the nightmare just won't end, like Mark Young hops out of his grave to slap me into a ditch over and over..and my foot now hurts alot, all the time.. I do know things will improve some with time. But Tuesday was hard and the days seem to just get harder.
The weather has cooled off today too. I should have worked on getting my garden raked and start planting but instead cried, dug out my shoes I know I can't wear and took a photo, cried some more..I want my old, normal life back, my normal walk and normal foot. And that will never happen..other people have had to deal with far worse things than I have..I can get through this but sure have a lot of problems with it today.
Will take something for pain before I go to bed, have the walker handy as I have found I just can't be sure of walking, with the cane or without to get to the bathroom in he night..that too sucks...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

12 Weeks and still a long way to go. . .

I am making progress, no cast, the black support boot and walker, pressure sore is healing up, I am gaining some. There is bone that will have to be removed on the outside edge of my foot, just below the ankle joint, it's slowly growing, piece or pieces of the heel bone that got shoved up at an angle or so it appears to me. Pain is managable most of the time.
It's getting warmer and green, the plum trees are leafing out, they bloomed and the weather was great for that, Mike was here for a week, he left out of Fort Madison 4/10, heading back to Albuquerque and work..Ben is gone too so it's just the birds and me for a few days.
I should be asleep but am having problems with that..think it's snack time or some such thing...missing Mike, thinking about the old house project, we did some rough drafts for renovation project. The settlement on this accident should allow me to have funds for that, some funds for long term old off part of my credit we are playing with graph paper and rulers and ideas for the house.
It's great to have someone else to bounce ideas off, I did find some of my original graph paper plans, but Mike and I never had time to look them over.
I know at times I don't get the words right, but I have been working on this attic studio dream since I bought this old house..had drawings of what I wanted for some of it that have not changed...that west wall being done with shelving built in..built in the way I want it..and that spiral stair case, the bump out for it and dormer.
We are talking now about bumping out the whole back 4's got merit, I like most of the changes Mike is working on drawing up..but need to think about them. It changes what I was 'seeing' in my head for the east side of the house, for my bathroom, and kitchen and that too I need time to think about and to also work on my own drawings and ideas.
We both agree that metal roof is the way to go, to have that open porch as close to what original look was, on demand hot water and a few other things. He wants to replace the entire water lines with something I don't know about, new and more flexable, not as available here yet.but it will be awhile before that 'job' needs done so plenty of time to see if it becomes more available here.
We do agree that stucco is the way to go for outside, not plastic siding that in 15 years would look bad...
But some of what he is talking about I am not big on, stripping out all the exixting drywall and plaster and replacing it, refinishing the maple floor----he has never lived in a renovation project, I have and know the down sides of that. This house will be a longer project, more money and living in it during the renovation will get very challenging---with him out on the road most of the time and me dealing with the dirt, the dust, the mess and all the other problems such a huge overhaul would become.
And I am not sure I see the reason or logic in stripping out all the walls and replacing them---things do not have to be perfect..I do want ceilings pulled except for the kitchen beadboard that Miguel and I worked so hard to get up..but I do not see pulling down the living room walls or the bedroom walls or all of the bathroom walls--ok, so maybe the bathroom ones will go..but I will be drawing some lines on some of that 'tear it out and put in new' as I will be the one paying the costs and living with the mess for the most part..
It is and will stay MY house, and we agree that the settlement will also stay MY settlement, anything I invest in Ferrin Square will be done with paperwork and business agreement.
The house, my credit debts and some $$ put away to grow and for my future is first.
But I have to heal and be released before there will be any settlement and at this time I don't even see that coming any time I can put a month on, much less a back to work date..and I miss work, and I don't like the physical limits I have now..and I don't like the uncomfortable or down right pain I 'get' to go through...