My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Changing Rides

     I will have to get some photos here but after 5 great years with my Rebel I now have that bike up for sale.  I didn't expect to be selling it for another year or 2 but a friend found me a really great buy on a Vespa GTS 300ie Super, dressed out and with very low miles.  I now have that bigger scooter, my LXV which I love and ride to work and all over and will not part with and have run out of bike parking space on my small bike patio.
     Work is ok, I did make a job change to a job that is less physically demanding with the same pay and better co-workers so that has improved my work attitude and lowered my stress issues.  And I don't hurt as much and am doing more at home after work, which is really great.
     Ben has moved out, he's working the local truck wash and seems to be making his life work better.  And Jake is on his way back to Colorado to live there, he helped his dad move back there earlier this month and came back here to get his Army Reserve stuff moved to Colorado, and pack up his things and say good bye.  I do hope it works for him and his good pal Darcy is  driving/riding out with him and will be flying back, a bit of vacation for her and she 'inherits' his house key and becomes my 'other kid'. 
     The new/used Vespa is a big splurge right now, I had not expected to find a scooter this summer but have started looking as I notice my right foot is doing more sneaking away from that brake pedal on the Rebel and I'm doing more looking down to see where that foot is, not the safest thing to do while cruising along the road on a motorcycle, no matter how small the bike is.  I do think I am safe to run it this summer and maybe next but thought I would start looking for used scooters 250cc up to 400cc, I don't know what all is out there or prices so thought some advance shopping would help me make a better buying decision. 
     I did not expect someone to find me a 2009 Vespa GTS with only 234 original miles for a price I could afford, but people do crazy things, including spending probably around $10,000 on a Vespa and then not riding it any amount.  The couple divorced about a year after getting this scooter, the wife got this scooter and could not ride it...years later, it's up for sale and I know a great deal when I see it, or rather when a friend calls me to check on it.
     And it's time to get to bed, work tomorrow and I actually look forward to going to work again, that's a nice change after several years of boxing stomachs, hurting, and working with 2 jerks. 

Friday, April 27, 2018

Looking at things differently

     I'm looking at my life, at my past, at how I got to where I am both physically and mentally, emotionally and looking at where I want to be this time next year.  It has been a long and not always easy road but worth the living and a lot of lessons learned, some I needed to 'take the class' more than once to learn from.
     And I'm accepting that the way I 'see' things is not always the way others do, and what works for me doesn't for others.  I can do a bit of giving here and there but I'm finding there's not much stretch or  give left in me, or much compromise.
     I work a hard, occasionally physically demanding job in a meat packing plant, that is how I earn my living, that takes up a big chunk of my day, 5 days a week, and occasionally 6.  I do have a job that I like, co-workers I like working with and that helps but it's not my 'family' and it's not my life, it's what earns the money that pays for all that matters/
     There's this old house, the payments on the current and 3rd mortgage in my 13+ years of ownership, and pays for the work, the materials I put into the improvements and repairs.  There is the bills for heat, lights, cooling, water, trash, property taxes, that job earns the money that pays for those things too, and the food I eat, the clothing I wear, the food I feed my pets.  That paycheck buys my dolls, my yarns, my internet service and the devices I use to enjoy and use that internet.
     That paycheck pays my vehicle insurance and registrations, repairs and upkeep, and it make the payments on that Mitsubishi car and that Vespa scooter I ride and love so much.  But it's not my life, it's not my best friend and it's not my family. 
     And I'm not sure always about where I will give in or what I will give up to make a relationship work with anyone.  I don't want a man in my bed, not in my bed in this house.  That stage or want is past and this new space, or recovered space, with all the time and hard work I have put in, with the new bed, new mattress, new sheets, it's just mine, and I don't want anyone 'invading' this peaceful space I have created for me.
     And that camping stuff, I'm glad he's found a place he likes and has a permanent place for his camper, he owns the lot, is a member of that little club/organization up there, and likes the location.  I don't like it, it's like being in a small camper town, it's not being out and away from the humans and their 'stuff'.  There is no waking up and looking out a window to dawn slowly lighting up nature, at just what's natural and finding peace and balance.  It's looking out into a small, crowded, campers way too close for my comfort, way too peopled for my peace and balance. 
     I'm not sure what sort of balance and compromise I will make, but he does not see the person I am, not all of me and there's so much of me and of what matters to my heart that I keep close, that I don't share, that is not anything I will share.  Especially with someone who gossips and does not realize he's crossed privacy lines, so now I don't tell him much.  He can't talk about what he doesn't know.
     And I've had several years of very single me that I have gone where I wanted, when I could, at my pace, for my reasons and I don't have it in me to give much of that up.  It's warming up here, finally, a late spring and I have the Vespa out and will soon have my Rebel out and ready for the road.  And I am not willing to give up that riding, and that for me, means hours of riding, long and sometimes hard, pushing riding.  It feeds my soul, there's just no other way I can explain what that freedom means to me, and I will have it, will not let much be more important than my needs and some of my wants.
     I'm not a calm, restful person, I'm not going to become a couch potato, a tv watching, cuddling affectionate person.  And some bridges were damaged and I'm not willing to repair them on my end, he didn't see that he was damaging the foundations, he didn't respect my ownership or my rights or put himself in my shoes with his actions...he will get back some of my time but not much and no trust, and not very much give, there's just not much left in me.
     No, I'm not mad, no I'm not depressed but I am looking at the coming summer and the weekends and what really matters with my very valuable time and how I want to spend that time.  It's not something I can go buy more of, once that day is gone, I don't get it back, so yes, what I do with that off work time does really matter to me. 
     I want and need to do old house stuff, and yard stuff, and I have other 'stuff' that matters, like time to knit or sew or read and time to ride. I am not going to spend very much time in some little camper village, wishing I was home or elsewhere, that is just not going to be happening to this old woman, not this summer and not the ones that come after.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

The office corner

     I still need to put together the stand/base/storage cubes for the printer, but most of the work is done.  I need a new power strip, will mount that on the wall in the corner, easy to turn on and off and plug stuff in.  And I want a new coffee cup warmer, even if I don't turn it on often, it gives me a fixed place for a cup or glass to sit.
     I could have added another coat of plaster and had a nicer looking job but I am so damn tired of plaster repairs, I've gone through over 60 pounds of dry plaster and have sanded/spilled/slopped far too much of that and I am still cleaning it up.
     We are finally seeing warmer weather, but reports for the weekend have us cold again.  I have a Doll Club event Saturday and Sunday am I will be signing up for my classes at Fiber Festival in Michigan. 
     And I've been eaten by scabies once again, yes, again, Jake's dog Thumper, he gets bathed here with something to kill them, Ben and I quit having a problem with them and then Jake is back, the dog is with him, and comes back to stay here and Ben and I deal with scabies once again.  I am going to end Thumper coming to stay.  I cannot afford to have open sores on my hands and lower arms, wrists, I am now working the upper bung job, which means I am flushing pig shit, full of all sorts of bacterial contamination out all day, a good way to end up with a serious problem with all the open sores, even with gloves, plastic sleeves and all that stuff.
     I am pleased with my bedroom, do like the color of the walls and trim, and like the progress I have made on this old house this winter.  It will be cleaner, warmer in the winter, cooler in the summer with more drafts shut out, and the room is comfortable.  I still have more leaning and putting away stuff but will do a little at a time.  It's sort and clean and decide what goes in the trash, what goes out to the shed, what goes up stairs and what belongs in here and where. 
     I will use the laptop a lot more now, and admit I am looking at new ones, despite the fact that this 1 has very little time being used since I bought it.  I think I just want to buy myself something and I sure don't need to add to my debt.  But I have been known to do some very stupid things with my credit and there are worse things I could get in debt for.  But I don't need a new laptop, I am just wanting something else....and it would come with Windows 10, which is part of my 'hate' issue with this one. 
     Time to clean me up and get to bed.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Never get caught up here

,      I just found I never posted what I had written in early December 2017, so it's up now and I still like the little black car but will be glad when it's sitting under a cover and I'm running bikes again.  It's a 'warm weather' thing, and today we have had rains, cold winds and more rain.
     But I am finally back in the downstairs, only 'real' bedroom this old house has, and I like the pale pistachio color I am painting the walls and the hedgerow olive I'm doing the trim and shelves in works great for accent.  The gap from the old brick chimney is this week end's project, and it's closed up, the new power outlet for my office corner is in and wired and working, and I will be working on that plaster work in this corner for a while.  Every day, another coat to build out and fill in, and sand as needed, but I have slowed down the drafts from the huge gap I started with this morning and I've lived with that all winter.
     Larry Lung invited me over for movies and cuddling but I decided home, a shower and quiet night in my own space works better for my old and hurting body.  He's living in the home he's lived in for years, and is retired, I'm still living in a renovation project, still working and still don't have enough time to get everything done on that 'to do' list I keep trying to get done.  But the shelves are up in the bedroom, so all that stuff I packed away to redo and repair this room can start going on the shelves this weekend, the 'dirty work' is done, at least in this space.
     Work was crazy all week for me, trying to train on a new job, took weeks to even get the task/job duties paper signed and then I'm still boxing stomachs,flushing stomachs, inverting stomachs, boxing bungs, trading people out to get vacations scheduled, boxing bungs, and finished the week with being 'given' to the front end and washing pig mouths for the day.  It all pays, it's work and it pays my bills, and it will calm down, at least somewhat.
     Politics and the president seem to be a daily disaster, and it looks like a rolling disaster that is bent on doing all the damage he can, while he can, with the GOP aiding and abetting the crimes.  Oh, it will be something most of us will survive but I'm not sure how long it will take to repair the damage, to our country's reputation, to our economy, jobs, and to the planet.
     But, for this evening, the house is warm and dry, and there's plenty of food, the music playing is my choice, the peace and balance in my life is from my choices and my hard work, and tomorrow will see the laundry done, the wall corner get a bit more plaster added, the toys and treasures coming out of the plastic totes and those moved out of my way.  The sewing studio will get some attention, stuff moved back into that storage area I keep hoping to turn into the upstairs bathroom, and maybe even some sewing done.

December 3 and far deeper in debt.

     First, I’ve been running older vehicles, which have needed repair and have had me without a vehicle while work was being done, expensive work that I have then put on my credit cards and paid high interest on, Never getting it all paid off since that car accident January 14, 2010.
     I was seriously worried that I would not be able to go back to work ever or if I did, it would only be for a very short time, so I admit that I would not finance a replacement vehicle for the little red Mazda truck I lost in that wreck, and that I really did like.  And I had it less than a year, because April 1, 2009 some fool in a hurry to get to the bar before closing time had to try and crowd past me in our company parking lot, going out to the highway.  That stupidity on a young man’s part totaled out my Hyundai Accent, which I had bought new, had less than 10 years and less than 91,000 miles on it....
    The Neon was bought because the transmission went out on that old ‘94 Ford Ranger I bought after the accident and I had been putting work and money in that since I bought it...  Jake lent me his vehicle but it had problems and it didn’t take me very long to be on Craig’s List looking for a low cost car so I had my own transportation while my truck was down for a very, very expensive shop visit.
     I’ve had that Neon almost 2 years and have put close to $4,000 into it, including purchase price and I still would not be confident to take it across country or try to make a long trip with it.
     So, I went on line car shopping for a new or nearly new car I could look at owning and driving for the next 15 years or so.  And I used to do a lot of that looking, with a 200 mile radius from my zip code for a location range and went down manufacturers web sites to look at their economic car lines for models to look at.
     The hunt was not about or for what I ‘liked’ but for what was or would be the best long term purchase for my life and my needs.  And Saturday I got my friend Jaime to go with me to Columbia MO to look at, drive, and sign papers and bring home a 2017 Mitsubishi Mirage, under 6,000 miles, was able to extend that original 50,000 mile bumper-bumper warrenty to what will be over 94,000 miles of bumper to bumper warranty/just under 10 years.  A 5 year payment plan at 5.5% interest and yes, the car is black, inside and out.  The very last color I would choose IF what I wanted and liked was the top concern on my list.
    On the way home I was able to check my mpg, a nice technology perk on new cars, and the car was 38. something at it’s lowest and 46.something at it’s highest during the 125+ mile return trip to home, with speeds between 40 and 65 mph.  I can sure adjust to black, oven hot in the sun, shows all the dirt and every scratch for that gas economy and for that long and far less worry warranty stuff.
    I’ve named the car Mit, and refer to it as the new Boyfriend.  I’m hoping for a very long and stable relationship and I know I will be supporting ‘him’ and buying ‘him’ things, including non essential stuff, and I already have stated.  He’s under a car cover now, and that back seat has a protective cover already.  I have cutie butterflies for sun shades in the car and today while I was in Springfield I got sheepskin front seat covers I will put on this coming week, some ‘girley’ stickers/decals to put on the car (so I can recognize it easier), some tiny lights that have a power plug in for the cigarette lighter/power port.  The interior seems so very dark at night, I can’t find my coffee cup yet.  The 2 tiny lights will stick somewhere underneath so the front floorboard area has a tiny bit of lighting when I plug them in.    I’ve ordered those window ventilation strips, that will make it easier to leave a window open a tiny bit, very necessary when it’s warmer or hot and prevent rain from getting in.
   And my hands get a sheepskin steering wheel cover, I’ve found those are the most comfortable for my hands year round and so are worth the cost to me.  The car came with new, never out of the package all weather floor mats for both the front and back, Jaime and I installed them while paperwork was getting prepared for me.  I called and got the insurance work done and paid for while I was also waiting on paperwork and then called today to give them the lender information.
     I should be getting a packet in the mail from the dealership with the 2nd key, hopefully the owners manual and the needed paperwork to get it registered and pay the sales taxes here, it has a 30 day tag on it now and I will run the Neon, which is up for sale already.
      I’m now carrying more debt than I am comfortable with, but I am also paying down some of that high interest credit debt, but will keeep funds in checking until after the taxes and registration is paid for, then pay down more high interest dddebt

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Winter blues and it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

     I had a really great summer, did a lot of riding, both on the Rebel and the Vespa, even went to a scooter rally and had an awesome 3 days down in St. Louis, playing and learning my way around.  So, I have no valid reason to gripe, it's not even really bad weather yet.
     I have a warm and dry house, a job that pays me enough to live on, plenty of fabrics and yarns to play with and all the needed tools for that play and then some.  So, I can sew and knit and enjoy my studio, my tech devices allow me access to the world and communications with others with similar interests and hobbies.
     There is food in the house, the parrots are being quiet, the dog is being good, at least right now and I am reasonably healthy, all my normal aches and pains are being reasonable, so I do realize just how fortunate I am.  But, I am not getting things done that I should be, a baby dress to finish up, before Alice outgrows it, tabi sock I am working on an working up the pattern and I need to get some work done on them, I am not happy with them and am already figuring out tweaks to my pattern, but I want at least part of the foot of each done before I start another pair and tweak that pattern some...toe area shaping ideas that will possibly improve the fit and the look...
     I have a doll dress cut out, still need to cut the bodice lining and then get busy sewing it, but I don't seem to get much done after work.  And I should be doing notes an research for the doll club talk I am giving this next meeting, which will be here very soon and I am not very ready.
     Finances are tight, and that's all my doing, I use credit when I should just NOT buy the non-essential 'goodie' that I am wanting, and I know that.  Some of the credit debt is from auto repairs, and that was needed at the time but very costly and not getting paid down or off very fast.  But the doll/yarn/tech debt stuff is absolutely me being very self-indulgent and I need to do far less of that and far more paying down debt and keeping a tight rein on my bad spending habits.
     It's late, I need to eat and get to sleep, 4:30 am comes very early and I actually do work hard at that job I have, that earns the money I spend on everything, from house payment to occasional candy and chips.   I need to count those blessings and appreciate more what a really good life I have and do a lot less grousing and grumping.

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Damn thief at Work

.    That orange, short steel came from the prior employer, this plant has never stocked/used/had that color/size/type of sharpening steel--so whoever stole it today, after I moved from the bung table to get boxes for stomachs or to help finish packing the last of stomach production, took a very easy to identify piece of MY personal work equipment--getting caught with it could end their employment at the plant.  I was screaming mad when I was done and went to get my scissors guard and steel and found the steel, which was attached to that scissors guard, gone.  I reported and make sure 3 different 2nd shift kill/harvest supervisors were aware of what it was, how to identify it and who it belongs to, where it was stolen from and also the 2nd shift supply person, in case it gets turned in to them.
       We are short a lot of people, vacation, medical  and call in, so it was a long 11 hour day for me, my usual set up work, then to bung table to work there all day, then back to stomachs to help them finish up.  And the ex-husband's cousin had to keep telling me I was lying about taking the Rebel Saturday and going to St. Louis.  Stupid ass, there's no reason for me to lie about that, yes, I did run down there, breakfast at McDonalds, it was 47 degrees when I went to McDonalds and not up to 50 when I headed south out of town, past 'Dosh and down the old road, through Bluffs and a right turn to head west, over the drawbridge on the Missouri and through Detroit and then Pittsfield and over the Mississippi River and into Louisiana MO, head south on 79 and get gas, pout as the bridge out of town is being replaced, NO traffic allowed through, back to 54 and detoured to Bowling Green, county roads back to 79 and on south.   Gas again just before 79 blends into I70, east this time and watch for crazy cars, big trucks and the sign for 270 south, and down, Off at Page Street and hunt for the hotel I am booked at for the Missouri Loves Company scooter Rally in less than 2 weeks.  Found that and also found a sigh that read "caution, duck crossing".  And learned that a few blocks east on Page Ave I would find Waffle House. That solved my breakfast early worry, so off to find state highway 100, and Flying Tiger Motorcycle, our rally meet up/sign up location.  From there back west on 100/Manchester to Steak N Shake, which had free wi-fi, our up in this neck of the world do not.
Then to go find Knitorious and see what they have, drool, drool..came out with a beautiful skein of Ancient Arts sock yarn in a amazing brown--and generally don't buy brown yarns/fabrics/clothes.
Easy directions, just follow the same street I came down the other direction, it changes names and it would take me to I64, and gee, there is the Ikea store, I do know where I am!
On I64 east and over the river, turn off for state highway 3, the old road up along the river, and from 1 old road to another and on.  Gas again in Grafton and put the liner back in my summer jacket.  And head north on roads I know and love running.
    Gone about 11 hours, over 330 miles, about 4 gallons of gas, temps from 46 to over 80 and then coming back down to just above 70.  Hours of time alone, of feeling free, winding roads, sun and shadow, trees and old buildings, seeing part of the older St. Louis, just me, my ride and my peace and balance.   No, I don't lie about that, both bikes and my car were here at 8 am, and again were all here about 8:30 pm. But that little silver Rebel was long gone by 9 am, me and the Rebel and the road.
    I now can find that Red Roof in the night, and know where I can get breakfast at 4 or 5 am, I can find the Rally meet up location and feel that I will be safe alone at that hotel.  That was the reason for the trip, my stay is booked but I have time to change it if I was not comfortable with the hotel or the ride from there to the Rally meet up.
      And I don't lie about buying very expensive resin dolls or high priced yarns, I don't have to.  I pay my own bills, earn my own living and have been single for over 12 years now.  I don't answer to my adult children or any one else.  My life is mine to live my way, and that includes long solitary rides on the Rebel or my Vespa.  And it was a really, really great day.

Monday, July 31, 2017

August already?

     And I have no idea what happened to most of July---- but that central brick chimney is finally removed and I have a vent installed into the studio, not a lot of cool air but some and enough to make it livable up there, or at leas so I can sleep better at night.
     But our heat wave is over, for now, nights are dropping into the 60's and I put the insulated liner in the rain liner for my summer bike jacket, thought this morning that would be a good idea.  And I need to sew 2 patches onto the heavier jacket before it's cool enough to need it.  1 is from the St. Louis Zoo, the other was part of my birthday gift from Ben, he got me 2 patches from Girl Genius, an on line comic we both follow, so now I have Oggie to watch my back and Agatha will go on the other jacket.
     I don't know where my after work time went tonight, it's almost 9 already and time for bed....