Thursday, December 29, 2011
Was enjoying my attic nest and watching Avatar, ya, I know, I have watched it before, several times actually when the phone rang. I expected it to be Larry, that guy I date and have lunch plans today with but it was Isobel trying to reach or locate Michael R. Ferrin. She did ask if he was my son, 'no, a man I used to date' she did leave a phone number and extension # and would like a call back before 8 p.m. central time. So, since I don't have a current e-mail address, and I don't have a current phone #, I will post it here and Mike, if you do read my blog now and then, you will get the message. Isobel 1-800-788-7870, ext. 3334. I also did google the number and it's a collection agency but it seems a lot of the people who were called by this # did NOT have the owe the debts that the caller was chasing and it seems that there might be some fraudulent claims and harassment being committed by whoever is calling from this #. It's not my business, not my debt and I have stuff at our local library every Thursday between 10-noon and then lunch with Larry before I go to work. Just love it when debt collectors call here looking for other people and they do, cell phone gets calls looking for who had that cell # before me, I get calls looking for the people I bought this house from, a man I was married to and have been divorced from for years and have not seen or head from for more than 10 years, for Mike and occasionally for my oldest son. Gee, if I could give them the address/phone/e-mail for any I would and let them be bothered instead of me. I am working hard to pay off my debt load, I go to work even when it is hard to even walk. I pay on my debts first before anything else, I keep a tight budget so I can pay off those debts as fast as I can. I don't like getting these calls and do what I can to get them to not call here but every time calls looking for Kenn Gean or Mike Ferrin come, I am reminded how stupid I was to believe these men, at least where it came to financial matters with Mike. I don't think much else was lies. With Kenn Gean, it was all lies and deception..and my being a stupid trusting fool. So, don't expect trust to come easy for me, don't expect me to put any confidence in others and don't expect me to pay any bills that aren't mine.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Another year and I'm still working on this old house and still working at Cargill. But the old house has a new metal roof, new dormer and spiral stairs and I am now in hourly management at the plant instead of supply. I don't hear from Stormy but understand from Cami, her oldest daughter, my oldest granddaughter, that she is fine. Bryon is out in CA and likes it there in the L.A. area, he catches me on line now and then but our hours rarely match up. Ben is working carpentry in this area, and I see him some, he helped put the metal roof on my house and with the stairs and work in the attic. Jake is in Japan and our hours don't match often but I do catch him on line now and then. If he doesn't stay in the Marines, this should be his last deployment overseas. I am not making fast progress on the work here but have a great usable space in the attic now, it will be a while before there is a bathroom up there and walls, ceilings but it's insulated and I will work on it as I have funds and time. And I have great natural light and plenty of sewing space now. We've had rain so far and just a skiff of snow, tonight I had ice on the windshield to scrape before I could leave the parking lot. But we are not having a bad winter yet this year. It's been a long year but my foot is doing better, a brace from Hanger Prosthetic has helped a lot with work and pain but I am not ever going to dance or skip. I have come to terms with the life changes that accident has made in my life and my body but it's been a long and hard battle with some of that adjusting. I am also finding some ability to forgive and let go with some people, I don't know why I was lied to about financial issues but do feel that it was not done to deliberately deceive me and create a mess of my life or use me. I do know my life works for me, here and living alone. I don't want the demands or needs of another person on my shoulders at this time. Occasional playmate and company works well, can work with my job and my old house and my foot and it's pain issues. Finances are improving, not fast but at least there is some progress, I still have a huge amount of high interest credit debt but it is going down every month and I am paying extra on the house payment and it's paid early every month so that helps too. And I'm still dating the same man I have been for 10+ months, he lives a few blocks away and has been widowed for over 3 years now, retired and it's his camper we take camping and his garage that my little Honda passport is spending the winter in. Wishing one and all a very good holiday season and a good year to come.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The leaking roof on this old house would not be replaced with a metal roof. And all the stuff I had stored in that attic area might have been ruined. A small fortune in books and fabrics that my estate might have yard saled or tossed out in the rubbish bin. Now, as I un-box those books, I am taking some to the local library. Their set of Time life home improvement books fell apart from much use several years ago and there has been no funds to replace them so mine will have a great home there and I can go use them when I need or want too. Those other books on furniture making and cabinet making and kids projects and crafts, they too have a better home at the public library. Now, as I am almost 2 years from the date of that accident, I am moving forward with living, with settling into my attic space as I gain progress with work up there. I will turn fabric into quilt tops and some will be gifted away, some will be machine quilted and gifted away, I don't need to hoard fabrics or books, and I don't need to stash away yarns and not use them. Thursdays are my out and about day before I head to work, and I will take time to enjoy having a life and I will work on living that life, not waiting until later, there might not be a later. I am working on forgiving, some has come easier than others, some things are easier to just let go and put into the past, some will take more time, hurt deeper, and my brain wants to understand, to know why before it can find forgiveness and move on, but I will keep working on those ones. I'm finding more laughter once again, and peace and balance are becoming a part of my life once more. I still get angry too easy, frustrated far too fast, but I am working on that too and ok if I don't make fast progress. I no longer feel guilty or obligated, my life, my paycheck and my right of choices. That too, is progress in my life. And now I will get ready and head to work once again, glad to be going to work, glad to be able to work, glad to have a job with good pay and benefits. And really glad to come home to my small old house that is dry and warm and mine.