My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Friday, December 16, 2011

IF I had died in that car accident

The leaking roof on this old house would not be replaced with a metal roof. And all the stuff I had stored in that attic area might have been ruined. A small fortune in books and fabrics that my estate might have yard saled or tossed out in the rubbish bin. Now, as I un-box those books, I am taking some to the local library. Their set of Time life home improvement books fell apart from much use several years ago and there has been no funds to replace them so mine will have a great home there and I can go use them when I need or want too. Those other books on furniture making and cabinet making and kids projects and crafts, they too have a better home at the public library. Now, as I am almost 2 years from the date of that accident, I am moving forward with living, with settling into my attic space as I gain progress with work up there. I will turn fabric into quilt tops and some will be gifted away, some will be machine quilted and gifted away, I don't need to hoard fabrics or books, and I don't need to stash away yarns and not use them. Thursdays are my out and about day before I head to work, and I will take time to enjoy having a life and I will work on living that life, not waiting until later, there might not be a later. I am working on forgiving, some has come easier than others, some things are easier to just let go and put into the past, some will take more time, hurt deeper, and my brain wants to understand, to know why before it can find forgiveness and move on, but I will keep working on those ones. I'm finding more laughter once again, and peace and balance are becoming a part of my life once more. I still get angry too easy, frustrated far too fast, but I am working on that too and ok if I don't make fast progress. I no longer feel guilty or obligated, my life, my paycheck and my right of choices. That too, is progress in my life. And now I will get ready and head to work once again, glad to be going to work, glad to be able to work, glad to have a job with good pay and benefits. And really glad to come home to my small old house that is dry and warm and mine.

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