Budgets, income taxes and making end meet

I am trying to stay on track with finances, trying to keep a tight budget and be practical.  My tax refund is going to be later this year than in past years and will not go as far as I want or do all I had hoped it would do.
But I will pay off Barclaycard/Apple toys, and I will get an Exercycle and use it, and I will get the truck 2 new tires, and do what else I can on the wish list.  But will not accomplish all I want to and that makes me a bit down.
I know I am making progress with debt load, with old house repairs and with stability here but it is such a very long and slow progress and that gets me down.  I know I am on the right track, know it is worth the ups and downs but there is no way to make slow progress and not have some down times over how slow it goes or how irritating it becomes at times.
And sharing the house with both Ben and Jake adds to the stress at times, hope Ben gets things going soon so that he is on is way and going where works best for him, Jake has school and work so he is busy and not the same schedule as mine, and although finances are tighter due to the added humans here, I can cope, I will cope, and we will survive.

Working on January

We are now past the middle of the first month of 2013, and it will be a different year from 2012.  I can start with the fact that IRS will not start accepting returns until 1/30/2013, and for years my refund has been in my bank account days before that date.  Grump and whine, but I will file a bit later than most years for me and be ok, do understand why, did go read at irs.gov so have correct info on that.
Ben is back here and too many people and too much disorder in a small house, way too much noise, way too much of the time, but we will all work on it.
Work is ok, some stress there but that is normal for working in a small dept that is all women, I am glad my job duties have me working alone and a nice walk from the others for most of my shift, time to think, time to enjoy music in my little music box, love tech goodies that lets me have 1000+ different songs in my pocket to enjoy while I work.
Pain with the foot and leg is an up and down thing, cold bothers me more, and so does all the long weeks we have been working but I will miss the overtime money  that has helped on debt load, allowed some extras and added to my feeling secure and stable.
Too many trips to Springfield this month, last week I had appointment with my gyn and now have to go back for more radiology and consult with radiologist this Friday.  I am using some of my paid vacation days for these so get paid to go to town.
I can't find all the medical records from the car accident, think some of the radiology repeat might have more to do with the calcified lymph gland that was on those records, full body scans were done, lots of scans were done while I was out, have NO clue what all was done during the 4-6 hours after the accident I have no memory of, to be honest.
So, it's back to Springfield, and I don't have much play money and it is cold, and I don't like the drive and I don't like the road, gripe, gripe and whine.  But if I want, Larry will go with me, I am not worried about there being any chance of breast cancer, but I do have some concern about that calcified lymph gland, some days.
It looks like we might have a job up to bid in our small department as our youngest member of our funny little crew is looking for a job in Chicago.
Her family is looking at making a move back to Chicago, they lost a house here in a fire, got the insurance settlement and think relocating is a good idea, now that her dad has lost his job at the plant, her mom is off on long medical leave after surgery and they have that wad of cash in hand and seem to think it is a huge amount of money.
First time home owner's loan taken out by the 20 year old daughter, with only 6 months of loan when the fire happened, electrical problems inside a wall in an old house.  And I know those govt. backed first time homeowner loans come with strings that can get interesting and haunt a person for years and years.  Glad it was not my loan, my house and my future problems that might show up.
This old house is making progress, I hope to do the last 2 windows this spring, the kitchen ones and it will mean custom and tear out the old ones, do any new rough framing needed and measure, order new ones and wait for them to be made and get here.  And the kitchen a mess for weeks or months, that could make a real fun life for a while.
I am seeing slow progress on paying down debt load here, and slow progress on this old house, and most of the time I am content with my life.  Having both Jake and Ben here gets insane and loud and crowded at times but I have assigned chores to both and that helps me cope some.  Jake is now in school and has classes 2 days a week, works 2-3 days a week.  Ben is taking up space and I hope working on a future that does not have him coming back to live at Mom's house over and over.  He needs to be more stable and able to support himself long term and I need that too.
Still dating that same guy, still spending a lot of this winter hiding up in the attic with my knitting and quiet, the cold and all the overtime has me worn out and tired, and very anti-social.
Doing a lot of thinking and weighing what the priority list for the tax refund will be this year, not a big return and it matters that I use it wisely, that is getting to be the normal for me but I do remember the years when the boys and I had weekend trips to Des Moines and new clothes, new toys, meals out, books and it was tax refund celebrations.
The world has changed for me, I now am far more practical and think long term, work on reducing that debt load I built up, work on paying off this old house mortgage and on the repairs it needs.  The days of my buying myself new dolls for any and every occasion are gone, the days of buying the books I want, the days of supporting kid's electronics and games are also past.
I started Monday grumpy, 3 years from that life changing accident, and it got worse as the day progressed but yesterday started to improve and today the sun is out and I am coping better, planning to make the trip to Springfield a day of enjoyment instead of bad attitude, and go enjoy a few shops I have not been to for ages, enjoy a meal out and a paid day off.