With honesty, you can find a way to resolve things, make wiser choices, find a way to deal with stuff like major financial issues. Without that honesty, some day the world will come crashing down, and every one looses.
Here, in this old house I make slow progress on stability, pay down debt load, fix a bit on this place, keep my truck running, keep going to work, and keep liking who I am and what I am doing with my life.
But it is spring, and as I start cleaning the outside grounds of my small place, as I watch plants come back to life, I wonder where would we be if just that one thing was changed.
I am finally getting the property surveyed and have plans to start fencing and I am hoping to finally get the concrete pour done for the patio off the kitchen and have the kitchen door replaced. Yes, the house still needs a lot of work, yes, I will keep at it, probably the rest of my life.
Well, there is no way to change the past, and no way to fix some things, honesty would have gone a very long way to make a huge difference so long ago. Now, I work on my life and hope that his life is going well and he is happy.
For the most part I am, oh, not with my lungs and the crud in them from my recent bout with the flu, or the annoying foot and ankle, but those are small things, most of the time I am very glad to be me and doing what I do with my silly little life.
Do I miss him? Yes, but I can live with that too, I miss my grandparents and my mom, people that matter are never replaced, their space in your mind and heart is only theirs and when they are gone, no matter why or how, the space is still there, it just sits empty. I dust it out now and then and go on living in the real world, not some book where I get to re-write parts and see what happens.