My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Friday, March 02, 2012

March already?? I hadn't got my list for January done

And now it's March, the ground is wet, the moles are running tunnels like crazy through my little bit of turf, the dog is digging like crazy when and where he can, the place looks like a land mine field.
But I still have a dry roof and a great attic space that needs a huge amount of work and $ but is my hideaway and my sewing space.
We have a local 'bug' going about, stomach/entire digestive tract kind that cleans you out and dehydrates you if a person is not careful.  I shared it with that man I date, who is recovering slower than I am but he wasn't as sick with it, he just doesn't bounce back well.
Foot and I are getting along most of the time, on a 'we tolerate each other' level.  I don't think I will do much garden this year, some is the work, some is wanting more free time for other things and some is that so much doesn't get harvested well.  I seem to have bug battles and hate to use so much insecticide as know with our sand it's soon into the water going down river.
Living alone still works well for me, it's not that I don't think about how life could have been different but I am able to accept what I cannot change and move on with my life.
Jake's enjoying most of this deployment, he's been in Japan, he's been in Thailand, he's met so many people, seen so much, learned so much, grown so much, but still wants mom to knit him socks and bake him bread and cookies when she can.
People are one of those things in life that you can't change, they are and will be who they are, they might try to be different for a while but it doesn't last, or they might build a false image of who they want you to think they are but it does fall apart sometime. 
So, I pick up the pieces of my life and work on building my life, and now and then I look back at that past, or I stumble over an old memory, a dream tucked away and wonder why he wasn't honest about stuff that would come out in time, why when I did find out, he didn't see I was asking him to be honest and give us something we could fix and make work. 
Now, I don't make space in my life for anyone who could build a life with me, there is no place for long term, make a team stuff, there's this workable 2 single people who share time together, as we can and will make the time.  Not a future together thing, but a today thing and for Larry and I, that is what works, we care about each other but we have our own homes, our own lives and patterns and we work that well.
And I have my old house, my dolls and my creative arts, my few friends and my dig and silly loud parrots and I have peace.  Not problems other people have drug into my life, not financial disasters that I have to help dig out from. 
And not the dreams I once had, and some days I miss that having dreams stuff.


Chloe said...

I totally get you about having dreams that just aren't going to happen. Part of it is that my dreams weren't realistic and part of it is that the world has a way of grinding those dreams to fit reality.

Your life sounds like it works and is peaceful and calm...three things that are in short supply in reality!

Chloe said...

And how is foot doing?
Have you thought about takig Kid to Doggy Bootcamp? I took Tank (he weighs about 185 pounds) and it worked miracles with him. Class was twice a week for an hour and then i worked him about an hour a day. He is hand trained now...I give hi hand signals and he obeys like a sheep herding dog. He does tricks (not fancy ones ut he will wait, stay, roll over, you know, just normal doggy tricks). He loves being so smart. ANd he did learn how to stay IN MY YARD. He would go to the very edge of the yard and bark like a wild thing, but would not step a foot over the grass. IT only took him six weeks to figure that out. And working with him helped my shoulder recover.
Just a thought..and it might not help at all. I did ask my physical therapist what he thought before I started off. He's a dog person, so he gave me the okay but told me to take some tylenol and put on heat pads when I was done. One of the the first thengs Tank learned was "No Pulling!!!"
I got a chain collar at Pet Smart ..not a choke chair but another kind that helps to remind dogs to obey. Can't remember what it's called but the Pet Smart peole know what it's called. It's has metal chains but is NOT a choke collar. Works like a charm. Doesn't hurt him...or you.

Is it spring there yet? I'm getting pots for my container garden on payday. I miss my garden the most of everything. I'm going to use plain terra cotta pots.

Did i mention that I bought a large big=rd cage (parrot sized) and some white fan tail dove? I just like the sound on the veranda.
We have a local Facebook page called "Gently used Reasonably Priced No drama"'s for local yard sale kind of post the photo, name your price and voila! it's sold. Usually within a couple of days. (You could start one and start yardselling your stuff and not have to drag everything out into the yard)

Larry could go/be with you (Mike goes with me ALWAYS) and you meet such nice people. I met a gal who can't afford to quilt but she does quilts on order...she goes fabric shopping with her clients so she doesn't get stuck making something hideous and helps pick out the pattern (so she doesn't get stuck with some God awful impossible pattern) and then quilts in front of the television. Her husband is very ill and this gives her something to do that she really loves. We're going to my next quilt club meeting (I'm not a quilter but a lot of my fiends are). I mainly do the tied quilts we make for the police and Highway Patrol guys take in their cars in case kids have to be removed from their homes. Oh, I've met some men who are total horses asses...why is it always the men who are like that and the women are so nice?

Anyway, it is late and time for me to stop yapping. Hope the weather is getting nicer and your foot is giving you less bad weather trouble.