I am working on doing just that, living my life my way, being the person I want to be, making the choices for my life that I feel are best for me, for my reasons.
I do see what I need to work on, do know the direction that is best for me and am able to get there, 1 step at a time, 1 day at a time. Not fast, but progress, not much back sliding and not letting someone derail me. And it is ok that I do this, my children are all adults and I nave no obligation to a man, no responsibility for a man, and plan to keep it that way.
I interviewed for a job as Administrative Assistant, clerical, in our plant, not sure it will be offered to me, at a pay scale I can accept at this time but I plan to get some schooling in computer software skills that will improve my chances of getting such jobs at an acceptable pay scale.
Like where I work, and with 10+ years, now in hourly management, I have 24+ paid days off, paid sick days, paid holidays to go with those paid vacation days and good medical at a very reasonable cost. Less than 6 miles a day round trip to work, good working conditions and that paycheck I earn gives me a stable quality of life.
My old house slowly gains improvements, my debt load goes down a bit at a time and I occasionally can afford nonessential things too. Not a bad way to be living, and right now I have 2 paid days off, will be working Saturday, by my choice, and have a doll club meeting that is our annual trip down south, with a bit of spending money for me.
The lawn is mowed, the new grass seed I scattered is coming up so that means the wild birds didn't get all of it eaten, slowly I am gaining on grass and getting more of that sand tied down so it does not track in, getting a property I enjoy living in and know it suits my needs and wants.
Foot and I are getting along most of the time, I am feeling healthier than I did this time last year and more emotionally stable, am happier more than I have been for several years, and my financial position gains a bit of stability a every month, or almost every month.
Less depression, fewer blue days, and a little more energy, all positive things here. I am actively working on eating more healthy, trying to make time for projects that need finished, getting more organized, again, all good things.
Would like to tell that man out west that he lost the best thing, the best woman that had ever come into his life with his lack of total, true honesty about his finances. I don't have any ill wishes for him, but do figure he will manage to keep his life messed up, and know his money management skills still stink when collection agencies call my place trying to locate him, and they still do.
Hey, I am not the one with the problems, or at least not being able to accept and deal with being loved, I just don't deal well with being lied to, or anyone trying to play head games with me, or being used. And I am secure enough to know my weak points, my strong points and know what issues and problems I need to work on.
Life at The Removator's Nighmare is pretty good living, that attic space is slowly shaping up to be a great studio, the south retreat is going to be great and it so very much my space, and some day I will have that very handy bathroom up in that attic space too.
And I will do some classes at the local community college, and I will start every day liking the person I am, and I will end every day knowing I had a good day, maybe not always a great day, no perfect days, but good days in a very good life, my life.
11 hours ago