Counting down to Vacation

     Right now work has some issues, maintenance issues at the front end had us standing around way too much today, we had some product, and a gap and then a bit more and another gap and the day drug on until after 2:30.  We will be working Saturday, and I am not complaining, I can sure use the $$.
     I did get out and set up the little tent Jake gave me, and there is no way I can take it to Michigan Fiber Festival and camp 4 nights in that tent.  It cannot be fastened down to the ground well enough to be secure in any amount of wind and it will not be dry if there is any rain.  So, I ordered a better 1 that should be here early next week.  I will also pick up seam coating stuff and some water proof spray so I can treat all the seams and the cover here, once it comes.  I do not want to be soaked or have my stuff soaked, and there is no weather control.
     That standing around give my brain too much time to wander around, and it has been dragging out some of the trash from the past, yes, I need to sort our and 'clean out' some of that, there is no changing the past or mistakes and poor choices I made in the past, I have grown a lot and changed a lot, I am not the same woman I was at 21 or 25 or even 45.
     I might create silly day dreams but I am firmly rooted in the real world and know who I am and what I want and need in my life.  I don't need or want a romantic or intimate relationship with anyone, I don't want a companion, a live in or a man to complicate my life and my enjoying my life.
     It is my life now and my time and my chance to do things I have wanted to do most of my life, to go when I want to go and where I want to go.  The new tent will easily pack on the GTS that I recently bought and we can go camping where I want to camp, just me and the scoot, I can run the roads I want to run, see the places I want to see on my own time schedule.
     Living alone here once again is working, some adjusting and some issues, like pet care when I am going to be gone very long/overnight but I will work on that, Ben is still living close and I have a pal or 2 I can trust with a key to the house.
     Finances are snug right now but the paychecks are improving, and that will help the finances.  All my medical bills are paid off right now, Lowes is paid off, Bergners has closed their credit accounts so that 1 was paid off and is now also closed. 
     I have changed my car insurance from Progressive to Geico and that should same me some $ also.  I will also change the bike insurance but not this week, juggling money some right now, have a lot that has to be paid in the next couple weeks, and that I want paid before I head off on vacation.
     It's been 12 years since I went to Michigan Fiber Festival, and that time I took angry, unhappy, pregnant Cami with me, 14, and in the middle of a huge family conflict, she needed away before her parents could abuse her more than they had.  My daughter has not yet made peace with me for standing up for Cami's right to make the decisions about the pregnancy.  Her mother knew she was having sex with a 28 year old man that Stormy worked with and didn't care, but was going to force Cami to terminate the pregnancy because of the problems it made in Stormy's life. 
     That is not a decision that others should make for a woman, regardless of age.  She is the 1 who has to live, the rest of her life with that decision, push counseling, push thinking about what your life will be like 5 years from now, 10 years from now, but let that woman make her own choice for the reasons she believe are right for her. 
    For most of my life I had let others make my choices for me, and did what they wanted me to, tried to be the person they thought I should be. And I still have some anger issue about that but you can't reason with the dead, you can't change the dead and the only thing you can do is look at all the reasons why they might have made those choices, why they did what they did, learn from it and move on. 
     So, the first and so far, only trip to Michigan Fiber Festival had some kid issues, but I really enjoyed it and this time I am going alone- ok, so not quite alone, I'm taking a 12" doll for company, she will not take up space, won't eat anything, won't complain, and I might have some fun with photo ops.  I need to dig out some patterns her size and make her a few things, if they are not finished, 1 can finish them up at Allegan.