My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The sun came out!!

We've had so much rain this spring, it's meant that my new plants have gotten off to a good start and the weeds and grass in the garden have flurished.. I am working them out by hand..it's slow progress but the hoe just stirs them about, and with our moisture, they just live and grow, just in a bit different spot.
I am glad I am able to be out and working in my garden, I was not sure I would be able to do some of the things I have enjoyed and are a part of my quality of life.
I will never wear heels and have feet that match, every time I dress nice I will look down and see that huge and deformed right foot and feel ugly..that might be stupid to someone else--but all I have to do is look down and feel ugly..it's right there--that ugly damaged foot.
and walk, I will feel awkard and clumsy and out of balance for a long time, maybe for the rest of my life..but I am walking with no cane most of the time..and the pain is usually there but tolerable..not enjoyable but it's been worse..
I don't have words to explain how this has messed with how I feel about Me, and about my life..but I will not let it beat me..and I will make my life good, and have quality of life. . .just different than what it was and what I had dreamed and planned and worked toward..
Going up stairs will be slow and careful, I haven't gotten that going down stairs to be very workable..but I am walking at the Y now and riding the stationary bike there and it was a red letter day today, I did not have to stop and re-position my foot, I did not hit my leg, foot, ankle on the peddle crank once!! Man, that is huge for me but such a small thing in the real world...
Time to head to bed before that self pity stuff comes out and gets me...

1 comment:

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