I put off sitting down and writing checks until today, payments on the medical bills from the accident. It will be a while before the insurance settlement, wish I had known that and a lot more many months ago. I would have made payments on those bills and had them paid off.
But I will manage to keep everything paid, keep Kid and I fed and hopefully keep the dog in chew toys so he leaves my shoes alone.
It's way too warm for this time of year, 69 degrees right now and it's confusing my plants that should be dormant and resting now. And we have possibility of rain off and on all week.
But at least I am getting closer to this year being over. It's not been a really good year and it's been a very expensive year and an emotionally taxing one also.
Some regrets but since I can't change the past, not recent and not long ago, I will look forward and go on with my life.
Jake is in Cebu Philippines right now, I don't know if his dad made the effort to get to Cebu to see our boy but it's not because Jake has not made the effort or because I didn't let Sam know what time and where Jake and the ship would be.
That's another touchy place in my heart, Jake and Sam and Sam's move, marriage, things beyond explaining had me crying on my days off. And I know I hurt Jake some when I told him that if his dad did not come to Cebu to see him, it's because Jake was not high enough on his dad's priority list. And he and I would both have to accept that and live with what we could not change.
Sam's choices have hurt both Jake and Ben so much and have hurt me too, hurt my boys, hurt me. We will get through this, and Jake is working on building his own life. I just hope his dad does not ask him for money. Jake has given his dad enough over the years, sweat equity, money, dedication, you name it, Jake paid over and over. It's time Jake quit paying for our failed marriage, Sam's remarriage and what that did.
And it's long past time I quit letting Sam guilt trip me. I wasn't the only 1 who failed our marriage, nor was I the 1 not willing to get some help to deal with our relocation and the depression problems Sam was having.
So, now I work on getting done what I need done, on my small little life and it's details, on the dishes done, work shifts put in, house work done, time with Kid done. All the small stuff that is my life here.
And it's a good life that I do really like and appreciate. And a small step at a time, I am getting it back into working, livable order. I am pulling my finances out of the pit they fell into with this accident and with some poor choices in what I did with the lost wages pay I did receive.
Brainless choices, and now I will make smarter choices, not only with money but also with who I spend time with, who I let be a part of my life.
Need a shower and work clothes, drop off the medical bills at the post office, stop at Dollar General for AA batteries and Kid chews, home to get ready for work, Mondays are always busy at plant, lots for me to get done.
1 week ago