Kid makes me laugh, playing tug of war with his rope toy, watching him slide on the wood floor, just Kid being Kid and all legs and tail, the dog makes me laugh.
Wearing my own hand knit sweaters, oh, ya, it's now cold enough to appreciate those sweaters and it's a real ego lift, my creativity, my work, part of them my own design, all of them made for just me. Walking into work or walking out, I might hurt and limp but hey, I can design and knit and proudly wear my work.
Tonight I got an offer to buy 1 of my dolls, the most recent one, who I got at a real steal on e-bay. I would not have bid if I could not afford to pay for what I was bidding on, or if I did not want what I was bidding on. Oh, I admit I only bid the opening amount, that was all the budget would allow....but wording of the e-bay ad, timing, length of time the bid was open(really short) and 1 bid got the dolls, #19/25, signed by the artist.
So, my posting a the doll group might have seemed like I did not want the doll, but it's me being me. She came from CA, to rain and cold, dressed in summery outfit, into winter. So, I don't think the new kid likes it here, but I have no doubts she will adjust, get to feel it's home and she's part of the family--probably about the time I have time to sew and she has something to wear that looks a bit more suitable to winter in central IL, in a house where the heat gets turned down when I leave for work, when I go to bed..gee, between work and sleep, that makes the temps here a bit chilly for a 'child' in a light weight, sleeveless, dressed up dress.
So, a polite thank you but No the doll is not for sale, she will adjust to her new home, she will get to know her new 'family' and settle in.
I have a great life, admit to missing the really brain working conversations and debates and talks Sam and I had, years of life with a man with sharp brains who used them, I will always miss that. And I miss the tight friendship and 'together' Mick and I had, 5 years that were almost all quality, priceless time. I have a 'yardstick' I measure men I date by, from my granddad to Sam and Mick.
Now I have that figured out, not much interest in dating men who won't measure up to the standards/yardsitck someone else put there. No reason to accept less, it just doesn't work, and until I either no longer expect more than the men I know now, or until I meet someone who doesn't need to be measured and found lacking, not dating works really well.
It feels good to come home, knowing Kid is waiting, the birds are glad to have me home, I can unwind my way, according to my mood and wants. I can talk to the dolls like they are alive, I can work on my knitting or not.
It took a long time to get the peace and balance I now have inside me, it got really shook with the car accident and the long recovery. A man from the past not being who I thought he was, and not being the man he said he was also rocked that some. But I've got that 'solid' back.
There's a lot that still needs worked on, finances, the paperwork and settlement from the accident, all the little life details, but the core me, it's back on solid ground once again and I'm finding my direction and what really matters.
And I come home from work and Kid makes me laugh with joy.
1 week ago