Today my 21 speed $$ bike left for yard sale friends are having. I can't ride it, I might not ever ride any bike again, with toe clips I might ride the lighter old bike some, but I can never bike for hours and I want to cry and then I read Sherri Jo's blog http://bearytinytreasures.com/blog/ and know nothing in my life is as hard as what Carole, Jimmy, their kids, her mom, Sherri Jo, her entire family are facing.
No one deserves the medical problems this mother is facing, neither of them. And looking at how bravely they deal with each day makes me feel like a whining brat. I'm crying over high heels and bicycles and they are battling 4th stage cancer..
I will never do much dancing again or run again but Kid and I walked over 2 miles today. And State Farm will pay all the medical bills from this accident, and I have my medical coverage from work that will pay most of the appendix bills. I get lost wages checks until I am back to work, and if I cannot do my job duties, I will get a larger settlement to help provide for me.
No leaking roof problems are as huge as Carole's cancer battle. No garden overgrown with grass compares to Jimmy's job problems. No place for my rocking chairs in my living room compares with 4 kids fighting to keep their mom just a little longer...
I am going to work on putting some things in the utility area, moving some stuff around and then will have room for at least 1 of the rocking chairs. And I will have that wooly board tomorrow or Saturday, and I can afford such non-essencial stuff as knitting yarns and wooly boards to dry my sweaters on.
I'm on plan #3 for that monolithic dome I might actually be able to have built, on that land that I might acutally be able to buy some day. I'm knitting my Marine son another pair of socks, and I have no idea now how many pair I have knit him, but 10 or more would probably be a good guess. And I can afford yarns to knit helmet liners for him and for some of his pals. And the cost to ship boxes to that boy.
Talking with Julie made me realize how far I have come, how much I have overcome in my life, and not just with this accident. And I will continue to overcome the challenges in life, and deal with the fears and doubts. And it's ok for strong people to cry, it's not a sign of weakness.