My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Monday, August 30, 2010

Gray clouds and gray days

Today is 1 of those gray days, but the funneral is done and Otto and I are ok. As expected I am resented by some of the relatives for stepping up, but they had years to do that and were too busy. Now, they are resentful that it's me Otto talks with, asks advice from and depends on when he needs something. They weren't there to sit with Don so Otto could go get groceries or to help clean up bowel movements or clean the filthy house so the hospice people had a better work environment.
But they want things and are sure Don would like Otto to fill their want list. Don asked for a few things to be given to a few people and it's been done, Don's sister asked for just a photo and went home with a framed one. But those other relatives can go buy their own collection of Elivis DVD's, Otto helped Don order and pay for the ones Otto now has, he's not just handing that stuff over, they can go buy their own or offer Otto $$ IF he wants to sell.
I didn't make enough time for my 'old guys' and I can't change that, I should have done more sooner. But I was afraid to offend them by asking/offering a lot more help. I get told I am too bossy, too willing to take over, and I do not want to walk all over the pride of those who I care so much about. We're past that now and I do tell Otto to talk with his brother and wife about things, and I tell him to make his decision, not what Maggie would do, but what works for Otto..
Foot and Belly are not happy today either, know I am healing, know belly had surgery just over a week ago and I am NOT living in 2400 with all the cool Star Trek healing tools, I have so little patience with my own body. Healing is doing well, it's not going at my speed, I just need to accept that I cannot force my body to be all fixed just becasue I want it that way.
I sent a letter to Jake today, let him know I have a long legged dog for him to run with, that I am looking at buying some land if I can afford it and to build on it, that I ended things with that guy over financial issues, that I had surgery for appendix but am healing and am fine...I left out the stuff about frusteration and aggrivation and just plain trying to keep from climbing the walls.
Back to resting on my bed because that is what my body needs, and I am so fed up with months and months of that. It would have been easier if that blasted appendix had decided to go punk a couple months ago, when my foot had me far more laid up, it would be nice if the accident never happened..ya, ya, so whine and accept and adjust.
I did get the chilies picked, need to set up the dryer, think I will dry cayannes and see if I can sell the Habeneros at the Farmer's Market tomorrow, sure know I have dryed alot already and so if I can sell a few, that would work for me. They are a pretty mountain on a cookie sheet in the kitchen now, orange and red and bright.
I need to either start putting doll outfits up on e-bay or decide I have dolls that like huge wardrobes, and get back to sewing more, that tends to cheer me up, and I do have the Doll Club Christmas exchange to sew for and have not even looked to see what doll my exchange person wants something special for. Hopefully a doll I have a body to fit things to, that makes sewing far easier here. And a doll big enough to be easy to sew for would be nicer than 1 of those tiny ones, I can and will sew tiny for gift but I sure won't for sale..
Ben and Tamara took my truck to go to J-ville and get part for her car, will be glad to see them back and know my truck is back safely. I worry far more now about stuff like that than I did 8 months ago, gee I wonder why.

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